I will try to make this as easy to understand as possible....
I have been married to DH for 23 years, so I know him fairly well! He is known for being a bit of a storyteller, there are MANY incidents - but I don't want to list them as they are not what I am here for. I just need to set the scene that he is capable of lying and I am able to pick up signs/feelings when he is doing so.
This time last year he began to lose weight - not that he was overweight to begin with - and this caused both of us concern so he went to the GP and was referred to the local hospital for tests. I now this happened because I (sneakily) read a letter that came detailing the consultation - but he hadn't told the consultant the truth..... (that initial appointment was mid -September) DH had further appointments at the hospital presumably to monitor weight/further tests.
At the end of October DH told me that during these tests they had found a small tumour on his lung. Apparently things were now looking good and this is why he was telling me now - he hadn't told me when he found out as he didn't want to worry me.
He said he had been having weekly injections of a drug (he couldn't remember the name) that sounds like 'crisp packet' to shrink the tumour and that it appeared to be working well.
I didn't react to this news as it all sounded a bit odd to me. I did some research the next day and found the cancer drug cisplatin (the nearest to his description) which is used to treat lung cancer - but it is given as an infusion over several hours not an injection and not on a weekly basis. (I am aware that experimental treatments are happening all the time).
DH has had no adverse symptoms - he has diarrhoea but that was present when he was losing weight - but not mentioned when seeing the consultant. He has had no time off work, he does not appear ill in any way, he has not lost any more weight, he has carried on completely as per usual.
A letter came and, yes, I was naughty and looked, it said that DH's weight loss had stabilised and his care was being transferred back to the GP. DH does not know that I have read this..... Letters have not been from the Oncology Dept.
DH's diagnosis was not even mentioned again until during an unrelated discussion I told him that I wasn't sure about his illness and wanted to see the consultant with him, or at least have both of us see our GP together to get the details.
He said he rarely sees the consultant - he goes in to the hospital (doesn't say which department) where a nurse gives him an injection and 10 minutes later he leaves. He won't go to the GP with me as he says there is nothing on the GP's computer as he asked for no information to be kept as he decided to 'just get on with it and not tell anyone'. I asked him to arrange to see his consultant so that I could go as well.
That was 3 weeks ago - nothing had been said so I asked him about it. Apparently the consultant is on holiday at the moment so the next time DH can see him is on the 25th June. He still won't go to the GP with me.
AIBU to want to clarify the situation with a consultant/GP??????
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
To ask to go to see consultant/GP with DH?
64 replies
nearlyhadenough · 28/05/2015 09:39
OP posts:
Coconutty ·
28/05/2015 09:43
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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