About the neighbours' child?

(24 Posts)
whatlifestylechoice Sat 23-May-15 16:51:11

We're very friendly with our neighbours. They have a six-year-old and a newborn; we have no children, but two dogs.

The six-year-old came around earlier and was chatting away, and then decided to stay with us and do some colouring. Except both DP and I are doing chores around the house today, we're in and out between the house and the garden, and neither of us has time free to supervise the child and the dogs. I'm pretty sure the dogs would never hurt her on purpose, but a few times they've knocked her over by accident. After the second time, I asked the child to go home, which she was not happy about. I insisted, and she did leave, rather sulkily.

I'm now feeling guilty though. If the neighbours asked us to babysit the girl, we would happily do so, but I don't want her just deciding to come visit us when there's no reason to do so, and its inconvenient for us.

AIBU?

gamerchick Sat 23-May-15 16:52:40

Nope.

cuntycowfacemonkey Sat 23-May-15 16:53:11

If it's not a convenient time then just send her away when she arrives she'll take the hint eventually!

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Sat 23-May-15 16:53:41

How does a 6 year old just come round? If one turned up at my house they would be escorted home.

FlabulousChix Sat 23-May-15 16:53:41

You aren't being unreasonable at all. But weird too she just turned up when you have no kids yourself

expatinscotland Sat 23-May-15 16:54:11

YANBU. I'd have a word with these neighbours, tbh.

Nativity3 Sat 23-May-15 16:54:55

I think it's sweet that she wants to spend time with you but I can see it would be tricky for you to watch her when you have chores to do and it wasn't an official babysitting arrangement.

YANBU... Maybe you could get her involved? If mine have friends round and I'm cleaning I'll usually ask them to sort a box of toys or check all the puzzles have all the bits or something! grin

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Sat 23-May-15 16:55:37

Not unreasonable at all.

ArsenalsPlayingAtHome Sat 23-May-15 16:57:01

YABU to allow this, but not to send her packing with a "Ooh, you need to go home, because Mrexpat and I are very busy doing jobs today!" in a friendly, smiley, yet also firm way!

whatlifestylechoice Sat 23-May-15 17:00:04

How does a 6 year old just come round?

We live in a tiny hamlet, so she gets a lot more freedom than city-dwelling kids might. Also our doors are never locked, although we do have a gate to keep the dogs in. But obviously six-year-olds cab work gates. smile

Nativity3 I have done that before when I've been doing some gardening, but I can't really ask a small child to clean the bathroom or put on a load of washing, really. (Or can I? grin)

SaucyJack Sat 23-May-15 17:01:17

YANBU.

Thing is, if you were too nice at the beginning the parents were probably deluded into thinking you genuinely enjoy having their child round. Especially if you don't have kids of your own.

Mrsjayy Sat 23-May-15 17:01:38

I think you should send her home say what a pp said that you are busy and go home i think the parents are taking the piss tbh she maybe lovely but they dont seem that fussed she is bothering you

expatinscotland Sat 23-May-15 17:03:59

Look, if your dogs hurt that kid you could be facing criminal charges, lose your home, your job, all sorts.

Just tell her, next time, 'This isn't a good time for visitors. DH and I have lots to get on with. Maybe later.'

TheresACatInMeKitchen Sat 23-May-15 17:06:42

Is she knocking on the door first or just letting herself in?

Either way If its not convenient you need to send her on her way.

reni1 Sat 23-May-15 17:11:12

Yanbu, it's lovely she wants to come and great of you to allow it from time to time, but she needs to learn not to outstay her welcome. I know a few grown ups who need to learn that, too.

whatlifestylechoice Sat 23-May-15 17:11:22

I know expat, that's why I would never leave her alone with the dog.

She's just letting herself in!

I think I'll definitely mention it to the parents later. We're due to go around there anyway.

Nativity3 Sat 23-May-15 17:12:47

I would mention it by saying you are concerned for her safety around the dogs when you're cleaning and can't keep an eye! smile

Mrsjayy Sat 23-May-15 17:15:27

It sounds like you are friends with her parents so they think its fine for her to pop round and not taking the piss after all i wonder if tgey see you as an extention to their family

Mrsjayy Sat 23-May-15 17:18:22

No dont blame the poor dogs its their house just say i like little girl visiting but sometimes we are busy so dont be offended if we send her home

PattiODoors Sat 23-May-15 17:20:01

Annoying! Do think about using the lock on doors so she can't let self in.

If she's coming round the back then you need to secure garden maybe with a high latch on gate.

Lots of friendly "today we are busy, let's pop you straight home" and swish her back. There is a technique to child swishing kinda like arms akimbo and herding. Hard to describe, arf.

Yarp Sat 23-May-15 17:21:05

She's really little. 6 is young. Take her home, don't send her. Poor kid

whatlifestylechoice Sat 23-May-15 17:27:39

Yarp, she runs around everywhere in our hamlet anyway. There's no traffic at all, and her house is only 30m away so the only possible hazards really are our dogs or her tripping and falling.

I shall practice my arms akimbo child-swishing then and speak to her parents tonight. grin

Thank you all.

Yarp Sat 23-May-15 17:30:32

I'd still take her. It's the parents you have an issue with, not her, so you need to talk to them.

Mrsjayy Sat 23-May-15 17:37:07

I swish children at work its like herding grin i love the swshy description i knew exactly what you meant

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