Am I being a flake ?

(14 Posts)
Cerealnamechangerforever Mon 18-May-15 21:50:00

Stayed at friend's house yest, we live on opp sides of the same city. Approx 40/50 mins public transport journey in between. We had a great time and ended up visiting a close friend of mine too who lives nearby too, everyone enjoyed themselves!

Anyway, today said friend and I were meant to be going to an exercise class in the same area where she lives (so I returned home and was then planning to head back to her area). Im between jobs atm so have a lot of free time and she has been very good at helping me get back into action so to speak and very supportive. Exercise class is fun, distracts me from things, sociable etc but very pricey. SHe works btw so has less free time.

ANyway just before booking exercise class my card was declined. I was back at my house at this point so didnt fancy the huge trek back to hers plus obviously couldnt afford really justify the high price.

WIBU to tell her about an hour before the class that I couldnt make it? It wouldnt have impacted her really in her any way as she would still have gone (she goes regularly on her own) and was happy to pay for herself. Just felt a bit flakey! FWIW she has cancelled on me before and I have been fine about it.

I texted her with an apology explaining I couldnt justify high price and long distance twice in one day. She was very airy about it but didnt respond to my offer to cook her dinner later this week in return... WOuld you have been understanding?? Also how would you regard friendship going forward? SHe is a great friend in many ways but sometimes get the impression she isnt as sympathetic/understanding in certain circumsntaces e.g. I probs would have said "No problem at all, compltely understand, it is a long way for you to travel and expensive! Let's meet up soon"

monkeysaymoo Mon 18-May-15 21:56:08

What was her actual response? Maybe you're reading to much into it and she's not as annoyed as you think she is?

Cerealnamechangerforever Mon 18-May-15 21:59:49

Monkey, I prerhaps am reading too much into it was she wasnt annoyed per se but just not warm or friendly...

0x530x610x750x630x79 Mon 18-May-15 22:02:05

so you didn't actually explain you were letting her down because your card was declined, so it wasn't physically possible for you to attend?

Happybodybunny12 Mon 18-May-15 22:03:10

I think it's impossible for people who have never had money worries to really understand those who have.

Leave it a day or so and try again.

Cerealnamechangerforever Mon 18-May-15 22:08:33

yes sorry i did explain that my card was declined so will have to rejig my finances over the next few days. i said i would go to a different exercise class with her later this week to make up for it.

just felt that combo of my card being declined plus the fact that it is a long distance to get there anyway for me (and I have made the trip anyway a few times) meant she could have been a little more understanding about things

Cerealnamechangerforever Mon 18-May-15 22:09:45

I bought her a couple of small bits over the weekend too which she said she would pay me back for because she had very little left before payday. She was able to afford this class however. Its not up to me to judge how others spend their money but just hoped she could be a little more fair

0x530x610x750x630x79 Mon 18-May-15 22:10:35

some people just can't hide emotions no matter how hard they try (i really really try to i do honestly) but she could have been disappointed and just let it show

Cerealnamechangerforever Mon 18-May-15 22:12:46

true true but surely text is a useful medium for this smile

Anyway its not a biggie, I guess i was just hoping she would acknolwdge the efforts Id gone to (e.g. travelling to her this weekend) and just reassure me a bit. But yes its probably just the she was disappointed! Thanks anyway smile

PurpleSwift Mon 18-May-15 22:13:20

I think you're looking too much into this considering this is just one text that she hasn't yet replied to and. It a day has passed.

CaspoFungin Mon 18-May-15 22:18:29

She's not been rude to you. She's probably a bit disappointed because she wanted to go to the class with you. She's allowed to be disappointed and also to express that..

Gubbins Mon 18-May-15 22:24:56

I think your expectations are far too high. You say you can't go, she responds with a text to say...what? "Ok." Or "Don't worry, see you Thursday". And that's grounds for 'rethinking the friendship going forward'? Yikes. It's amazing I have any friends at all.

tanukiton Mon 18-May-15 22:31:02

she is disappointed for gods sake tell her your card was declined. She is your friend . If you dont she is left wondering what the fuck happened...

tanukiton Mon 18-May-15 22:31:59

sorry if you said your card was declined then I am sure it will work out!!!

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