Should I be annoyed.

(10 Posts)
ginnyrose1 Wed 13-May-15 18:17:09

DD is in year 7, she very quite and sensitive so struggles to make friends. But she works hard, is good student and very organised. Since starting at her new school she had a couple jokes played on her. Which included this one girl telling her not to lock her locker and then the next day finding a stolen moblie phone in there. We told the head teacher who felt it was done as a joke and spoke to the class about it, not naming my daughter of course. Since then little things have gone missing such has socks and stationary, and then her coat when missing. I have been out to replace the items only for them to turn up weeks later found by this same girl. Yesterday, DD PE kit went missing, she only packed it in her bag that morning and says she didn't get out at school. AIBU to think again someone has taken it? The form teacher is saying DD must of lost it as no one would steal but this seems out of character for her (DD2 no, she loses everything!) One of the other girls said to her 'well you did steal that phone, so maybe someone is getting you back' when DD denied it, she told her that this girl had gone around tell everyone DD had. DD told her teacher this but the teacher said there was no way any of the girls would say that as they were too nice...... Am I wrong to feel annoyed?

emmaliz Wed 13-May-15 18:22:02

No you're not wrong. I would feel annoyed too. It's quite odd behaviour on the part of the other girls, its taking a 'joke' too far imo

emmaliz Wed 13-May-15 18:25:09

personally I'd go in and have a meeting with head of year or other suitable person. This behaviour is unacceptable and needs to be stopped now - especially since you are replacing things at expense to yourself and how your daughter must be feeling about it.

VelvetRose Wed 13-May-15 18:27:35

You are not wrong at all. Something needs to be done about this. I agree with you, it sounds like someone is picking on her. Dd has a friend who was the victim of some strange behaviour like this (people kept hiding his school bag, coat etc and it was found in all sorts of strange places round the school).

VanitasVanitatum Wed 13-May-15 18:29:46

Are you certain the teacher said 'the girls wouldn't do that, they're too nice' sounds like a very silly and immature response.

Minisoksmakehardwork Wed 13-May-15 18:30:11

Yanbu. The girls involved clearly think they've found an easy target in your DD, and the teacher is either very gullible or has been conditioned by these 'nice' girls to think they are angels.

I would consider this bullying. There is no easy or quick fix solution and it all depends on how the girl is making your daughter feel.

But as the teacher appears to be taking little action, I'd be looking at your school's anti bullying policy and writing in to the teacher in the first instance, outlining the incidents, how they fit the anti bullying policy and asking what action is going to be taken to ensure this is the last of it.

If it then continues, you escalate it up to th head of year and so on until it is resolved.

NRomanoff Wed 13-May-15 18:33:53

You should be very annoyed. If this isn't nipped in the bud the mobile phone theft will follow her through school. These things do.

A teacher should not be telling a child that is complaining of bullying (that's what this is) that the other girls wouldn't do that. Its disgusting and dismissive.

You need to go in and have a meeting, telling them that this needs dealing with. And tell the them you want a copy of everything relating to your dd about this bullying. I have had problems with schools saying they have noted it down, but when it comes to it they haven't.

This is bullying and its a really nasty kind of bullying. I am so sorry you are going through this. I have been there and its shit. Totally fucking shit. It makes me very angry that children are allowed to do this and adults let them get away with it

KurriKurri Wed 13-May-15 18:55:30

I'd definitely class this as bullying, she is being targetted - your poor DD. It is gaslighting effectively - a very manipulative type of bullying. The teacher has let your DD down and if I were in your position I would as others suggest insist on a meeting, ask to see their bullying policy and ask how they propose to deal with it. I would also be keeping a record of all incidents, dates, what happened, and what was said etc.

confusedandemployed Wed 13-May-15 18:57:48

Well PPs have said it. This is bullying and you are absolutely right to be annoyed. ,I would be incandescent but I am a hothead

kissmethere Wed 13-May-15 19:01:04

The teachers are turning a blind eye and they need to stop.
She's bein picked on and it's quite more than a joke being playing it malicious. I hope they start dealing with this.

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