Bit of background, my parents divorced ten years ago and my dad was lucky enough to meet another woman who he married. She is quite a strong character, and a heavy drinker at that - while my dad is weak in nature, and a bit of a sheep. For example, he started smoking at the age of 55 because she does, and also became a heavy drinker because she is. Got a tattoo because she has several.
When they got together, that was the end of my dad and I having time on our own at all as father and daughter-because it upset his new wife being left out. I tried to explain that it was not personal why I wanted to see my dad on his own occasionally, but he stood firm that if I had things to say, I could say it in front of her too. I accepted that if I wanted to see dad, he would always be with his wife. Please note i never gave the impression she should be excluded, I just wanted some time alone with him every now and again. We used to be close and train together in a hobby three times a week when I was growing up.
We have had a bit of a rough week because my DGF passed away. I was very close to him, and had a great relationship. DF, on the other hand, did not. He saw DGF once or twice a year and did not visit him in hospital or return his phone calls. My DGF would often ask me why not, which put me in an awkward spot.
On the night we thought we were going to lose him, I could not get hold of my dad, despite trying several times, but luckily, DGF survived till the next day and DF was able to say goodbye to him. I was there on the night he died and have been so upset to see him that way.
When he passed away, I called my dad to say how sorry I was but could not get through and wrote him a message, which he replied to. Tried several times throughout the day to contact him and no answer, messages continued.
To my horror, his wife had put a message on Facebook in front of a large audience, something along the lines that I was a rubbish daughter and had not tried to contact my own father since the death of DGF. I think she was drunk but I could not believe she would lie and humiliate me in public like this. I am also a little gobsmacked they are plastering all over social media how sad they are feeling, when they were hardly in the life of DGF, and they are being mean to me about not being there for THEM.
I sent a message to DF saying I had seen the comment his wife made and reminded him that I had tried to contact him in addition to the messages several times but he didn't pick up. He has not replied to me. I feel so sad i haven't slept all night.
Sorry if this sounds like something off Jeremy Kyle.
AIBU to be angry and how would you handle the situation from now on? I feel I have lost my father as well.
Thanks in advance
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AIBU?
To be angry with DF?
10 replies
molehillormountain · 11/05/2015 06:29
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LegoSuperstar ·
11/05/2015 08:05
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LindyHemming ·
11/05/2015 18:27
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