Think I probably am bu, just need telling :)

(16 Posts)
bidriss Sun 10-May-15 20:13:00

I've been in a relationship since the start of last year. We don't live together but see each other most nights of the week (4/5 on average) and he stays at mine or vv.

I was expecting to see him tonight. He wasn't going to stay as he's got a meeting first thing, so would only have been for a few hours. Anyway, he text me a couple of hours ago to say he's not feeling great (he has some ongoing health problems at present), is tired, and needs to do stuff at home, and try to get an early night, so he's not coming.

I can see where he's coming from, but I was looking forward to/ expecting to/preparing to see him. And I just feel a little meh, which is probably rather petulant of me I know.

So tell me I am BU, and I'll try to get over myself!

CuppaSarah Sun 10-May-15 20:19:18

Yanbu to be disappointed, last minute changes in plans suck. But you wbu if you held it against him. Could you not go to his and look after him?

Only1scoop Sun 10-May-15 20:22:10

Ooo enjoy your night to yourself....
Unless you had specific plans yabsu

PHANTOMnamechanger Sun 10-May-15 20:22:29

on the plus side, you have extra you time, for a nice hot bath, a face mask, or a DVD and wine on your own in your PJs - bliss!

bidriss Sun 10-May-15 20:23:06

I can't go to his, as my DC are here. He lives an hour away as well, and the last train back is before 10, so even if i just went for the evening by the time I got there it would be almost time to come back

PHANTOMnamechanger Sun 10-May-15 20:23:53

in fact, those ideas sound so good, I tell ya what OP, to save you being lonely how about I send my lot round and I'll enjoy some me time? grin

Weathergames Sun 10-May-15 20:24:53

Are you worried he's lying - or losing interest in you?

If not you are being V unreasonable.

PHANTOMnamechanger Sun 10-May-15 20:25:11

ah, you have DC - erm, maybe not nice quiet you time after all then!

.......but absence maks the heart grow fonder, it won't be long.

NRomanoff Sun 10-May-15 20:34:05

YANBU us be disappointed. YWBU for it to be anymore than a little disappointment though.

MrsSheRa Sun 10-May-15 20:37:44

As above, yanbu to be disappointed.

Ywbu if you were "funny"with him about it though.

Or is there a deeper issue...?

bidriss Sun 10-May-15 20:43:56

I know he's not that well, and he was pretty shattered when I saw him Fri, so I dont think he's lying about being ill.

I have previously been messed about/lied to/let down a LOT in other, more casual, relationships. He's nothing like any of those arses men though, but I guess this just brings old experiences back to mind. Even though I know it's very different this time.

bidriss Mon 11-May-15 08:34:40

Hmm, I text him to say goodnight and he didn't reply. Then when I finally got to sleep, kept dreaming about him breaking up with me, which was horrible. I suspect it's only my own anxieties but even so still feel pretty crappy today sad

FarFromAnyRoad Mon 11-May-15 08:39:30

You know relationships aren't meant to make you feel like this right? I think you sound a little obsessed. This may be due to your past experiences - I don't know - but if you carry on like this you'll send him running in the other direction and make yourself very unhappy indeed.

TapDancingMollusc Mon 11-May-15 08:43:48

Sorry you feel so down about this. flowers

He was probably asleep when you text him to say goodnight.

Hopefully you'll hear from him soon and you'll feel better about this then. Know how you feel though and it's a horrible feeling.

If it's any consolation I'm getting the silent treatment from my partner as I asked him to stop constantly interrupting me every time I spoke and as far as I'm concerned he can fuck off to the far side of fuck until he apologises.

bidriss Mon 11-May-15 08:52:59

Obsessed? I don't think I am. I probably just worry and overthink stuff. But it's not like I was texting him at 6am saying 'why haven't you replied? Are you breaking up with me?

Tap, thanks for the flowers as for your DP that's mean of him. I hope he apologises soon, and quits the silent treatment (that drives me mad, an Ex used to do it whenever we rowed)

TapDancingMollusc Mon 11-May-15 09:11:08

thank you smile Hope you hear soon xx

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