Baby's gender

[BingBunnyIsAKnob]

DP and I have a son aged 8 months and have recently found out that we're expecting baby number 2, I'm 7 weeks pregnant. I'm not really bothered either way about the gender as long as the baby is healthy, although if I could choose I would probably say girl because then I'd have 1 of each but it's not really that important to me. Everyone that we've told about the pregnancy including DP's nan, mother and my close friends have said "we want a girl this time please" and one of my friends constantly refers to the baby as "her, she" .. I keep correcting her but it's really starting to annoy me now, she says it about 20 times a day, I may be being over sensitive but I feel like if it is a boy that it's like it's a disappointment to people and that we shouldn't be made to feel like that, I'm going to love this baby just as much regardless of what gender it is, maybe I'm just overly emotional and being sensitive but it's getting to me, do you think I'm being unreasonable?

[MrsGentlyBenevolent]

Tell them your baby doesn't have a gender until it's here, and if you're not wanting one or the other they shouldn't be either. Or in short form, say 'piss off'.

[Sallyingforth]

Or in short form, say 'piss off'.

+1

[sandy30]

YANBU. They're plain rude.

[Roxsan]

YANBU I've got the exact same thing going on! My first is a boy and my mil's response when we told her was 'oh I wanted a girl' and had face ache all night!!
Everytime I see any of my in laws I just get hope it's a girl/really want a girl blah blah blahhh!
Tell them to piss off and if you do find out I'd be tempted not to share the gender!

[glammanana]

Let me just say not all grandparents are the same I know I'm not as long as my DDs and their partners have healthy babies is all that I want and they all bring their own special love anyway so what is wrong with these people,my DD had four boys and everyone is a delight,oh and by the way she never found out what she was having with any of them she did have a girl last of all and she is the biggest pain of my life although I love her to bits DD says if she had her first she would be an only child lol. tell your family nothing its not their business.

[AuntyMag10]

Yanbu, very rude and inconsiderate to keep calling the baby 'she' when they don't know. Set them straight else you will be dealing with a whole lot of ugly comments when the baby is here and not a girl.

[Lucyloves101]

I has exactly the same thing, infuriating and depressing! My own mum was openly disappointed and my MIL has requested a girl 'next time' (there won't be a next time).

[Lucyloves101]

Ps - totally love having two boys!

[ishallnamehimsquishy]

Must be a MIL thing. :)

Mine is always mentioning whether it will be a girl this time after 2 boys.

I think my Mum us still at the idea of a DC3 at all...

[Writerwannabe83]

When me and DH a gender scan for our first baby at 16 weeks my MIL came with us and when the sonographer told us we were having a boy my MIL made it quite clear how disappointed she was. Her reaction was pretty upsetting really.

After the scan we went back to PIL's house to tell FIL it was a boy, who was delighted, and MIL continued to keep saying how she'd really wanted it to be a girl instead

[Anydrinkwilldo]

I have a recent AIBU much along the same lines, mine is dc3 and last baby and DM is obsessing to the point that I actually want this to be a boy. A very gentle but firm 'I don't want to discuss baby gender it's not like it can be changed now' and if she persists just be a rude as she is being and walk out. I've found that's stopped my DM saying it to me!

[GlitteringJasper]

You must have some very intense friends if they are discussing your baby's gender '20 times a day' when you are 7 weeks pregnant!

I generally found people weren't really that bothered about my second pregnancy and indeed second pregnancies generally speaking!

Are you sure you don't secretly want a girl yourself and are obsessing a little about the unknown?

[BingBunnyIsAKnob]

I'm very sure... I'm not imagining it

[Moreisnnogedag]

Oh my mom did this. I don't think she meant to (my dsis has one of each) eventually I snapped and told her to lay off. I'm glad I did because I have two beautiful boys now (which I'm delighted by) and I'm glad I cleared the air before ds2 was born.

[SuburbanRhonda]

YABU to say "gender" when you mean "sex".

But apart from that, YANBU.

[DisappointedOne]

I was going to say that too SubrubanRhonda.

[DisappointedOne]

I never understand why people tell all and sundry about pregnancies so early either.

[BingBunnyIsAKnob]

Maybe because they're excited? Everyone's different, some people choose to wait to announce it but I just think that if anything is gonna happen it'll happen wether people know about it or not, each to their own.

[ollieplimsoles]

Writerwannabe I would have gone crazy at my mil for this, she was lucky enough to be invited to the scan and she behaves that way- fuck that!

I'm 17 weeks with our first and my dhs family all want a girl, one hasn't be born on that side for 25 years, so now.im hoping for a boy to piss them all off

The baby's health has always been the main thing as it is with all parents really, my mum is not interested in the gender at all, just hopes we have a healthy little one, mil is more interested in the gender, asked us impatiently when we will be able to find out, her face when we told her we are not was a picture..

[Iggi999]

People are daft. I had a much wanted ds2 after several mcs and my own dm, who knew my story, still asked me if I'd try again for a girl! Very happy with my boys thank you

[DisappointedOne]

FFS. A baby has a definable SEX, not GENDER.

[BingBunnyIsAKnob]

Get over it DisappointedOne

[Tonberry]

Bing, these threads always go the same way. A load of posters coming in to tell you that you either are or aren't being unreasonable and a fuck of a load more coming in to point out that actually sex is one thing and gender is another blah blah blah when everyone knows what you meant without a bunch of pedants those people repeatedly pointing it out.

[BingBunnyIsAKnob]

Exactly! Everyone knows what I mean so it's not really a big deal

[ApocalypseThen]

Has the option of shrugging these things off rather than becoming mortally offended been made illegal? Life is much easier when you don't have to get so outraged by fairly simple remarks.