Need advice relationship with father.

(3 Posts)
withalittlebitofluck Fri 08-May-15 23:06:09

I need some help to put this situation into perspective. If any one could help?

Background info- my father and mother separated when I was 10, we had contact once a month after that until my teens.

My dad and I grew closer as I got older. And when I was 21 I had my first baby he was always there for me. He would visit every other weekend and would spend a lot of time with his grandchild. I would make sure he was included in birthdays etc. he has had a few relationships but always spent time with us.
When I got married I made sure he was part of my day, he refused to make a speech and said he didn't want the fuss. He went on my husbands stag weekend.
He met someone new 3 years ago, he stopped calling and our time went down together. she has a child she adopted and a grown up child and I didnt think a lot of it.
He married her at Christmas. Didn't invite me. Just him, her and her children and another family member:
I am hurt, I cannot understand what I did to be so unimportant now. I told him I was hurt he told me that he didn't want any fuss.
He didn't even call me to tell me, he text me.
My children ( I had 3 at Christmas) received no Christmas wishes let alone gifts or cards.
His new wife commented on a ecard on my FB I had on my profile about family, telling me my dad was upset they have done nothing wrong and that I was out of order. I ignored this I was heavily pregnant and feeling hurt still.
I had my new baby early feb. I sent him a message to say that he had arrived and he replied telling me to let him know when they could come and visit: I never replied as I was unwell:
It's now 5 months since they married I haven't seen him, he hasn't even called. I sent her daughter a birthday card, he text saying thanks. Didn't ask how I was. Despite this he likes everything I do on facebook.
I can't see why a father who use to share time with me would not be wanting a relationship with me. Anybody got any thoughts. Am I being unreasonable by being upset about being left out of his wedding? Or is it as my friends say.. He has wanted to cut me out?

Ninnypie Fri 08-May-15 23:16:15

I'm sorry to read this. It sounds as though your father has indeed given his new wife priority over you. Maybe she is jealous of your relationship?

You're not being unreasonable for feeling upset, not in the slightest.

Sorry I don't have much else to add but maybe you should move this to the relationships board as there is always loads of good advice there.

withalittlebitofluck Fri 08-May-15 23:42:37

Thank you for replying.

What I am finding tough is letting go, even thinking about him marrying without allowing me to be A part of it makes me feel sad again. But the thought of never having him in my life again is also making me feel sad.
IF I had done something wrong or treated him and her badly I could understand but I have been nothing but welcoming to her. I will try to move to relationship boards.

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