i wonder what you all think of this.
I live in a very rural part of the country. My nearest neighbour is probably just under a quarter of a mile away. They are an older couple. The man, whom I have known since I was a little girl, is in his 80s and is the patriarch of the nearby farm, where his family all live and work. He lives with his second wife, a wee bit younger than him, probably early to mid 70s. They live in a house on the outskirts of the farm land, towards my house.
They have a cat and a cat flap. I have cats. 3-4 years ago I acquired a brother and sister pair of kittens who have been happily living with us and our other cats (2 others) since then.
My garden is massive. Not a stealth boast. It is basically a field with a house in it. Everywhere around is National Trust land that is farmed by said farm.
Cats of course are no respecters of boundaries.
About two months ago the female cat went missing. She is a nomad and sometimes doesn't come in for a day or so, but always comes back. To cut a long story short, we found out that our neighbours had been feeding her and letting her in. My friend cleans for them and the wife had asked friend to let me know they had my cat and she won't leave! Ok, cue a couple of trips round there with my dc to get her back. Wife said she didn't mind, several times, but that my cat was fighting with hers, and so it wasn't ideal. My friend's view at that point was that the wife would have been quite happy to keep encouraging my cat if it got on with hers.
Ok, so I have tried to get my cat back and keep her in, impossible with my other cats, cat flaps, and a little girl who will inevitably leave doors open now and again.
The issue is that the husband has rung me twice and on both occasions been spectacularly rude and aggressive, at one point intimating that as he is a farmer he would know what to do with my cat and that you shoot troublesome animals.
So far so nasty. I don't put up with rubbish like that and the first time I put the phone down on him after telling him to get a grip etc. He told me to come and get the cat again (Friday phone call) and I refused because it is clear they are making very little effort to actually exclude the cat from their house. He shouted at me that it wasn't their problem it was mine, and I asked him how I should deal with it if keeping her in is not an option (it isn't). He suggested I take her to a cats home. I suggested he tried harder to keep the cat out.
But they won't. I accept that they are older and also he has recently been in hospital and it is far from ideal to have a cat coming in who apparently breaks ornaments (?) and has broken into the locked cat flap. I have said I would pay for any breakages but they refuse.
I have a stray cat (with a collar but no name) coming to my house at the moment. I explained to him (over the shouting) that when it comes in I put it out, and that is what they are going to have to do, every time. I said it might take weeks to break her of the habit. I said to them by all means spray water at her, anything like that, but the wife won't do that or says it doesn't work.
I don't want to fall out with them, he has always been a good neighbour but he was spitting vitriol at me on Friday, and threatened solicitors, which is hilarious as I am a solicitor. Basically, he is a shouty old chap who cannot be reasoned with and is used to having his own way. He may also very possibly have been a bit tiddly when he called me.
WWYD?! I just cannot see any other way than for them to continually pick her up and put/chase her out until she gets the message.
Sorry for the length, all about a bloody cat.
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AIBU?
To no longer collect my cat from my neighbour's house?
42 replies
PeppermintPasty · 03/05/2015 13:51
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