I'll try to be brief!
Ex has asked (very nicely) if he might be able to reduce CM payments on the basis that he's struggling financially (due to getting married this summer and large debts). I'm now re-married, with a new baby and a big-ish house.... so in his eyes, I don't need the money like I used to. His request is on the basis that it no longer seems fair that he should have to contribute as much as he does, when it's clear that we don't need it.
Back story - I loved him very much, but he simply wasn't ready for family life. He treated me rather badly (including some DV), all quite publicly, and I ended up walking away with our 2yr old. I'm proud of myself for handling the split with dignity and treating him kindly. He works in a "fun" industry where drug use is common, and he'd spiralled into a pretty bad state to escape from family life/responsibilities - but I did try to help, and always made contact with our DS easy and stress free.
Our DS is now 6, and I'm remarried to a wonderful man who adores his SS and treats him as his own. The ex is getting married this summer to a lovely woman who also adores DS. The four of us are all friendly and DS has never experienced any negativity regarding visits etc.
I want to accommodate his request out of kindness and to keep things friendly, but we're not THAT well off. My DH puts a big chunk of his salary into the mortgage, and our utilities are high. We don't drive a fancy car, and we don't go on posh holidays, but we do have a naice house that makes it look like we're doing pretty well.
He pays the amount that the CM online calculator suggests, but doesn't contribute to anything on top of that and has never taken DS on holiday etc.
Desperate not to be seen as grabby/entitled, but don't want to be taken advantage of. AIBU to maintain payments even though we don't "need" them?
Please or to access all these features
Please
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AIBU?
AIBU to maintain CM payments?
28 replies
ToastMama · 28/04/2015 13:55
OP posts:
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