to think nursery are too quick to send dd home?

[firsttimemum0000]

DD is 16 months old and her nursery have sent her home twice in the last two weeks. Both times I have got there having left work and rushed there in a panic only to get there and she's been completely fine. I arrived yesterday and she was sitting there quite happily stuffing her face. I don't want to be a mean mummy and obviously I want to pick her up if she's actually unwell but I think it's a bit silly to insist that she be picked up just because she's teething.

Apparently they have a new policy in place which dictates that if their temp is above 38 they have to go home, no matter what. Which strikes me as being overly inflexible. Even her care worker said it's just her teeth, there's no suggestion that she has anything contagious which I presume is the reason for that policy, to try minimise infections spreading.

They gave her some Calpol which allegedly didn't reduce her temperature which they said was 38.3. But when I got her home it was 37.4. She wasn't 100% for the rest of the day granted but she wasn't poorly, a bit grumpy and cuddly but basically ok. She ate her tea, played as normal, went to bed as normal. She only has 6.5 teeth so far so there's a lot more of this to come. Obviously my dd is the most important thing in the world to me but I have to work to put a roof over her head and with so many teeth still to come out I'm worried this is going to start being a regular thing. It's not really possible for her to dad to pick her up so it's all on me.

There have been times I've picked her up when she was genuinely ill and I have no issues with that at all, obviously. I also wish her care worker wouldn't sound so utterly panicked whenever she does phone me. I'm getting better at ignoring that but her tone of voice has really scared me in the past. I would have thought someone so experienced would be a bit calmer about run of the mill problems that all babies and toddlers have. But that's a side issue I suppose.

So AIBU to expect nursery to manage minor illnesses / teething themselves? The cynical part of me wonders if they do it because grumpy babies aren't as easy to take care of as babies who are 100% fine. Should I query the rigid over 38 and you're home policy with management?

[seaweed123]

My nursery do this, and they have a 48 hour exclusion policy after a temperature as well. Sickness I can understand, but I do think 48 hours off for a teething temp is taking the piss a bit.

However, there is a 18 month waiting list for them, and most other nurseries locally (I signed up before my 20 week scan!) and therefore, they can do what they like.

I've only been back at work a few months, and am feeling awful about the number of days I'm needing to take. Luckily, DH takes some too, but with the 48 hour policy, we are both needing to take a day for every incidence.

No idea what the solution is, but it is rubbish.

[Mrsjayy]

Thats rubbish my friend had to get a Drs note for her sons nursery when he was teething, can you get a childminder or nanny instead she will be teething for a while yet

[firsttimemum0000]

Bloody hell, she'd never be there if they had that policy. Maybe I should stop moaning and be grateful they're not that mad! There are a lot of nurseries near us but I do really like this one. It's very convenient, the staff are lovely and she's completely settled and happy. It doesn't bother me at all that she just toddles off as soon as I put her down without so much as a backward glance to her mummy and that daddy gets to do pick ups, honest!

[Mrsjayy]

The drs note did stop the nursery phoning her iyswim. Challenge it I do agree with you they should be able to look after teething babies she isnt ill

[firsttimemum0000]

No, she's settled now and I think she's much more suited to nursery than a childminder.

They also won't give her teething gel or granules which is stupid. And they'll only give her Calpol if I specify when she has to have it. I've asked before if they can just give her it IF she needs it but that's not allowed apparently. sigh.

[littlemslazybones]

I thought that the link between temperatures and teething was a myth and has been debunked. Of my 3 children, I've never found that they had a temperature whist teething unless they were also poorly.

[littlemslazybones]

Sorry, posted too soon. I can see how it seems unfair if your dd seems well in herself but I suppose at temp of 38.3 is quite high and i think it is a reasonable request that the nursery asks you to take her own to minimise her exposure to the other children if it is serious.

So YABU, but I don't think its because you are a 'mean mummy'.

[firsttimemum0000]

I have read that but it's bollocks in my admittedly limited experience. Every other mum I know and the nursery care workers all subscribe to the notion that teething can cause a high temperature, though not for every child.

[Fleecyleesy]

I think that the nursery are absolutely right to send home a child with a temperature over 38 degrees. I wouldn't be so blasé about temperatures either - they mean the body is struggling with something and the child needs to be resting, not in an active nursery setting potentially giving germs to everyone else. You say it's teething but you can't be certain there is nothing else to it.

It's obviously difficult for the parents but really that's just how life is with babies/toddlers for quite a long time. Years in my case!

[toomuchtooold]

Our old nursery was a bit like this and also reserved the right to exclude any children if they had had Calpol in the morning before going in.

It was really frustrating as we have one who sometimes just wakes from a nap a bit grumpy and sleepy, and who sleeps on her front so she gets hot, and about twice a week they'd have the thermometer out and I'd be called in.

I found that after a couple of months of yoyoing up and down to the nursery for every minor thing they started to exercise a bit more judgement and wouldn't always call me in.

But holy crap, 48h exclusion for a temperature! My DD2 would never get to go at all...

[Greenoes]

It's not just nursery - DS was sent home in year 4 with a non-blanching rash. Granted, I'm a nurse and have a little bit of knowledge, and they did have the decency to smile when I pointed out his non-blanching rash was in fact, a bruise. Since then they've always called me to check things before sending him home...last year he trapped his thumb in a door and I was called to check their dressing technique! I literally went in, gave him a cuddle and said "yes, that's fine" about their bandaging skills!

[Pyjamaschocolateandwine]

I am a qualified nurse too and a cm. I most definatly would call a parent if a child had a temp over 38'c or was unwell. If I didn't and the child had a febrile convulsion or far far worse meningitis I don't fancy standing up in a court and defending myself thanks.

Ofsted regulate all aspects of giving medicine. If you don't stick to the tiles you could be In vary serious trouble.

Totally understand your frustration op but you can't blame the child care provider. They have to stick up the rules.

[Pyjamaschocolateandwine]

Stick to the rules not tiles!

[ImNameyChangey]

I think YABVU. This is your child and if she has such a high temp then she needs to be with you.

[DinoSnores]

"Ofsted regulate all aspects of giving medicine."

That's not entirely true. Ofsted asks those in childcare to have your own clear policy about medication but doesn't say very much about what those policies should be.

www3.hants.gov.uk/giving_medication_to_children_in_registered_childcare1.pdf

[Ocho]

Sorry but YABU.

A child with a raised temperature should be at home, for both the child's and the nursery's needs. Child should be comfortable with his loved ones and nursery shouldn't have to have one staff member out of action due to having to sit and cuddle a poorly child. Temps can go up and down so fast in little ones, and you must know how horrible it feels to have a temperature and not be in the comfort of your own home.

'They gave her some Calpol which allegedly didn't reduce her temperature which they said was 38.3. But when I got her home it was 37.4.'

Are you suggesting they lied? it may well have reduced by the time you got home and that's a good thing!

Also, the cause of a temp is irrelevant - whether it's teeth or a virus or whatever - the point is the child is unwell and burning up.

I know it's a complete PITA (am on my third DC in nursery) but it's just part of being a working parent.

[firsttimemum0000]

I'm starting to think I should count myself lucky that my nursery don't have even stricter policies than they do!

Of course she should be at home if she's ill but my point is that she wasn't really and I think they should have exercised a bit more judgement. When I got there she was eating (read stuffing her face, she likes her food!) and she spent the rest of the day at home playing as normal.

Re the temperature, I don't think they were lying but do wonder about whether they double check it. Don't know if this is just me but when I take her temperature I always do both ears and do them again if there's a big difference in readings.

I might ask again about the whole teething gel thing. Will your nurseries apply teething gel / granules? I'm a bit flummoxed about why this isn't allowed tbh.

[BeanCalledPickle]

I became convinced their thermometer was off. They were always telling me she was hot and calling loads. I ended up taking my thermometer in to demonstrate the contrast! Her 'normal' on theirs was 37.5 but 36.6 on ours. Now they only call when she's hot relatively.

[yummumto3girls]

Hang in there OP, the first couple of years are really tough when they go to nursery, it will get better. My first DD use to get terrible temperatures with teething, they would always ring and ask if they could give Calpol first and if that didn't work they would ask me to collect her. It sounds like they did in this case and it didn't get the temperature down. As someone else said you have the risk of febrile convulsions and we did get those a few times. You sound like a great mummy, we understand how frustrating it is when you are trying to hold down a job.

[fermerswife]

My nursery is pretty good about these kind of things with the exception of conjunctivitis which is no longer an excludable illness as defined by the public health agency.

We all know a "sick" child is better off at home but when you're a working parent and you could lose your job on inefficiency grounds because you're off all the time at short notice with a little one it is a very difficult act to balance. In this instance if your daughter was in ok form eating etc, then I don't think they should ring you instantly, they should give her some calpol and monitor temperature and her general mood. I understand with vomiting etc but even then the likelihood is they got it from the nursery and it's all round the room already.

I don't understand why they won't give teething gel etc? Our nursery actually provides bonjela and calpol for that very reason!

Childcare is just a whole minefield and as I said a very difficult thing to balance.

[FreeButtonBee]

Thanks Christ I have a nanny. My DTS would never be there. He runs hot and can have a temp over 39 and be absolutely fine (in contrast to his twin sister who can be pretty under the weather and barely hitting 38). So much for child focused care...

[Pyjamaschocolateandwine]

Dino yes but as a cm you cannot take the risk of not informing a parent of a child's temp.

I am a qualified nurse but would send home a child with a high temp. It's not my job as a cm to nurse a sick child.

Free child focused care is great for a nanny looking after just one family.

A busy setting can't keep sick children as they could infect every other child. It's commen sense.

[Graceymac]

My nurserys policy is no child with temp over 38 to go in. I would think the temp was 37.4 at home because she was given calpol prior to being collected. It was probably masking the fever. Even when my dds have temps in 39/40s capol or neurofen works wonders in bringing it down and therefore perking them up. When it wears off they relapse back to being unwell again. Teething should not cause temps over 38c according to the experts now, it is thought more likely that with all the child is putting in their mouths to chew on at this time is likely to be introducing viruses.
It's a pain in terms of work but it's better for the child to be at home, I wouldn't want to make that kind of judgement with another persons child. I also would like to avoid my child catching the latest virus where possible as one does get febrile seizures.

[firsttimemum0000]

glad it's not just me Bean. I might ask tomorrow if they do both ears.

Thanks Yummum. It is hard, especially when it's always me who has to leave early.

To be fair they didn't ask me to come straight away. They asked for permission to give Calpol, left it half an hour and said her temp hadn't come down then asked me to come. She really was ok by the time I got there though. I am definitely going to ask about teething gel though, that helps her loads when she's pissed off with it all and I can't see any reason for not giving it.

[Graceymac]

I have a childminder who comes to my house and my dds attend playgroup and Montessori only at the local nursery as I would never be at work either.