To think I should not be used as "Bad Cop" all the time?

[DrSeuss]

Would the following annoy you?
Husband always saying to DS aged nine that he should do any small chore asked of him because, "Mum wants you to."?
Also, husband arriving home ten minutes before a proper, cooked from scratch decent meal was to be served and immediately starting snacking?
Surely chores are done because we all live in this house and we don't want to live in a shit tip? My husband leaves most things wherever he used them last eg shoes in the living room, tool kit in the hall, dirty plate by the TV. My standards of house keeping are moderate but it drives me mad! It annoys me that he does it and it annoys me that I have to be the "grown up" and ask for things to be put away! Now I feel like he tells the kids to clear up because I want them to so that he still doesn't have to be the bad guy/ grown up! As regards the biscuits etc when he knows dinner is minutes away, I find it rather insulting. I am quite a decent cook, if I say so myself.

[AlwaysDancing1234]

I feel like you climbed into my mind and wrote this! It's ALWAYS me doing the crap stuff like telling DS to brush his teeth/do homework/have a bath while DH just occasionally injects with a halfhearted "do what mum said please" so thereby always making me the bad guy. So no "cure" I'm afraid just my total sympathy and understanding!

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

I get the sense this is a long running problem. By not picking up after himself it suggests that your time is less precious than his.

Monkey see, monkey do - the children will see their dad leaving stuff around and know you pick up after him so it will seem quite natural to mimic that behaviour.

"Because Mum wants you to" or put another way, "Because Dad isn't bothered about leaving a trail of crap for her to pick up".

I'd be more irritated by this than pre-meal snacks but again it doesn't set a good example.

Hide the snacks before DH gets in. If he's foraging suggest he has a drink of something to tide him over?

Do you think that PILs' house ran on the same principles ie Mum was in charge of all things domestic and that included being lumbered with all the clearing up?