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AIBU?

Cousin's partner "get your tits out"

170 replies

Leafitout · 26/04/2015 19:19

I cannot stand him he has no respect for his long term long suffering partner my cousin. He is a sleazeball and fucking annoying me when he keeps texting me to get my tits out. He not only text me he does it to my face when my cousin is in the same room.

OP posts:
chairmeoh · 26/04/2015 19:22

Tell him to stop. Tell him he is juvenile and boring.
Block his number. Walk out of the room when he is present.
Make sure your cousin knows you are still her friend and continue to spend time with her.

Bunbaker · 26/04/2015 19:22

Why does he have your number? Can you delete and block?

MrsTerryPratchett · 26/04/2015 19:25

Text him back, "Malicious or abusive phone calls are a criminal offence, under section 43 of the Telecommunications Act, 1984. Be advised." Then ignore and avoid.

shewept · 26/04/2015 19:30

Tell him to duck off and tell them both if he doesn't stop harassing you, you will complain to the police.

She may want to put up with this idiots behaviour. But you don't have to.

shewept · 26/04/2015 19:31

God damn autocorrect...Tell him to fuck off

AnyFucker · 26/04/2015 19:32

why are you exchanging texts/conversations with this twat ?

tell him to fuck off by text/to his face

Leafitout · 26/04/2015 19:35

He never had my number he went through my cousins phone and got it without her knowing. He often changes his payg sim. He is so vile to her and abusive to her emotionally and she feels trapped and just accepts his behaviour as normal banter!! He text me how he was sitting having a wank watching a porn film at two in the morning. Needless to say I didn't reply.

OP posts:
AuntyMag10 · 26/04/2015 19:36

He sounds vile, your poor cousin. Confront him with the texts in front of people and hopefully it would Shame him into stopping.

Bunbaker · 26/04/2015 19:41

I agree with AuntyMag10 show other people his revolting texts. Show your cousin as well. It sounds like she needs a wake up call.

Then block the number

Boutonneux · 26/04/2015 19:41

Blimey, he sounds utterly grim.

I would just completely ignore all texts, don't respond at all... he's doing it for a reaction. If you don't give him one, he'll soon stop.

Theycallmemellowjello · 26/04/2015 19:41

Please don't delete the texts, even though they are horrible. This is harassment and if he ever escalates it then it will be in your interest to have a record. In the mean time all you can do is support your cousin and hope that she finds the strength and self worth to leave him. Good luck Flowers

ImperialBlether · 26/04/2015 19:47

Do you have a partner? If so, swap phones with him.

Leafitout · 26/04/2015 19:49

I can't show other people the text. He is very very controlling of her. Opening her post, not letting her have any money, telling her she's an ugly dog, getting their two kids to call her a fat cunt. She is on her knees and I need to keep an eye on her as he doesn't allow her to have friends. If I speak out against him he will stop our contact. I fucking hate him with a passion and he is doing this as he knows I won't say anything. He even pats me on the backside, asks when was the last time I had a fuck and who with. He is yuck just yuck

OP posts:
LIZS · 26/04/2015 19:51

He doesn't control you though. Show others the texts and back he number.

LIZS · 26/04/2015 19:51

Block the number

TheoriginalLEM · 26/04/2015 19:52

Just block the number

blue42 · 26/04/2015 19:53

No offence, but if he's doing all that to her, then I'd suggest you aren't able to effectively "keep an eye on her" as it stands, so I don't see what you have to lose by confronting him.

He'll probably shit himself when you do, if he's so accustomed to getting his own way.

FluffyPersian · 26/04/2015 19:56

It sounds like he's actually treating two women badly.. and neither are making any kind of stand. His partner.. and you.

You say 'He knows I won't say anything' - well then, surely that's the same as his partner and he can treat you AND her how he wants. He pats you on the backside and you don't stop him or say anything? Why the hell not? He asks you when the last time you had a fuck was? And you allow this behaviour?

If your cousin wanted a strong role model to look up to, surely by blocking his number, and refusing to be in the same room with him / not allowing him to get away with such things, you'll show your cousin that YOU aren't taking this shit from him and nor does she.....?

I'd be showing everyone the texts and exposing what a vile pig he is..

Leafitout · 26/04/2015 20:05

It's not that I allow his behaviour I do tell him to not do that the patting on the bum. He is not a man to upset. He throws the most almighty tantrums that he frightens her and the kids. I have been in their house before when he has lost it and it isn't pretty. I keep an eye on her as in always being on the other end of the phone when she needs. I can't just leave her to get on with it by herself. He thinks it's just banter the texts and I have told him to stop but he carries on doing it. Blocking his number I can do but he has also done it from her phone in the past

OP posts:
FenellaFellorick · 26/04/2015 20:07

You can tell people. Apart from the fact that he is sexually harassing you which is unacceptable - what if you telling people is what finally makes her feel that she needs to get out?

Why should you suffer to protect him? You need to show your cousin that a woman does not have to take this from a man.

You also have to protect yourself. He is behaving in an inappropriate sexual manner towards you - what if he escalates this?

I understand that you love your cousin, but you can only do so much for someone. You cannot continue to sacrifice yourself to this man.

LIZS · 26/04/2015 20:08

Offer to report him for harrassment. He is wantonly "misreading" any attention as encouragement. Tell your cousin you won't stand for it, can't visit but you are there if/when she needs you. He is abusive, of your cousin, of you, and probably others.

annielouise · 26/04/2015 20:12

Get the police to speak to him. You're just facilitating his behaviour by doing nothing. What's going to change? Nothing, unless you do something. Let two big burly policemen going and put the shits up him. At some point your cousin will say enough is enough but while you do nothing he will carry on.

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AnyFucker · 26/04/2015 20:19

in this precise situation I would resort to speaking the only language a twat like him knows

report him to the police for harassment....let them deal with him, but make sure you report him to the DV unit not the local bobbies

AnyFucker · 26/04/2015 20:20

Alternatively, arrange for his kneecaps to get some damage

Happy36 · 26/04/2015 20:23

Call a domestic violence to get help for your cousin.

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