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AIBU?

12 year old girl short for age

47 replies

Yikes123 · 24/04/2015 16:52

Posted here for traffic. My just turned 12 year old DD has always been on the small side as are her three younger siblings. I am 5'2 and DH is 6' so they obviously take after me. She measures approx 138-139 cm, is of a slim (but not 'too' slim) build, size 2 feet, not yet in obvious puberty but in certain tops I notice beginnings of tiny breast buds and she is starting to get greasier hair/skin.

She is so much smaller than her friends, she finds it embarrassing at times. They are virtually all quite a few inches taller than me and DD only reaches their shoulders. She hasn't grown much at all in the last two years. Is it likely that she will suddenly grow as puberty kicks in? I would like to check it out with our GP but DD is adamant that she doesn't want to go and our GP won't organise any blood tests etc without DD's consent.

Has anyone else had experience of this? I started my periods at 13 and only started with pubic hair etc a few months beforehand. My mum started her periods at 15 but ended up 5'6. Just want to make sure she does start growing!!

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Undeuxtwatcinq · 24/04/2015 17:01

she might just be little. If everything else seems normal I wouldn't worry too much beyond telling your DD that there are many smaller people in the world. My DD is only 8, but is going to be little. We did the height predictor in her red book (the book they give you at birth) and she is going to be anywhere from 4ft10 to 5ft3. She comes up to the shoulders of two of her best friends. Dynamite comes in small packages.

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irregularegular · 24/04/2015 17:01

My daughter is 12, 13 in June and I think she has just passed the 140 mark. Size 2 feet, slim but healthy weight I think. No real signs of puberty except slighty prone to spots. She's really fed up with being so much smaller and less developed than her friends and is desperate to wear adult sizes and look older. She looks about 10. But I'm pretty sure she's still within the range of normal. I am 5 ft 4 but think I was similar to her at her age and was 13.5 when started periods.

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Thecowandcat · 24/04/2015 17:01

I might be wrong but I think that puberty generally slows growth in girls if doesn't stop it all together.

I don't know how much the doctors can do anyway?

I'm sure you can be a good role model and show her the positives of being a proud short women.

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chickenfuckingpox · 24/04/2015 17:04

my daughter was shorter at age 12 she is 14 now and 146.2 in height and her feet are a 3 1/2 -4

she is just a little smaller than me when she was 12 she was in age 10/11 clothing she is now in 14/15

yes i think she (your dd) will grow when puberty hits mine did!

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Seeline · 24/04/2015 17:06

My DD will be 11 in July, and is the smallest in her year. I think it just beginning to bother her. She is 133cm - measured her last week as she wants to be out of her booster seat by the time she start secondary. She has size 1 feet and is quite slim. Clothes are the real problem at the moment, with a lot of her friends in adult sizes; she still looks like a Y2 or Y3.
My Mum said I grew 6" in my first year at secondary and I'm only 5'5" now, so I am hoping she will grow soon.

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Yikes123 · 24/04/2015 17:08

Thank you both. Dd sounds very similar to your daughter Irregular. It's difficult to know what is normal as DDs friends seemed to hit puberty around ten and now are curvy/taller than me. I don't see the rest of her peer group now that she is at secondary school to see if there are any other shorties!! I've always been fairly flat chested and petite. I'm hoping she will grow in her own time.

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Yarp · 24/04/2015 17:10

Sounds like I was. I seems more unusual now than it was then (1980s)

If I had a daughter I'd feel very sad for them to start periods at 10

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Yarp · 24/04/2015 17:11

I am 5ft3 and started periods at 13 years 11 months

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Gwynfluff · 24/04/2015 17:11

Breast buds are the sign that puberty and the growth spurt are about to start. The period starting is actually when the growth spurt is coming to the end and they only grow a small amount thereafter - or so I've read!

I've got a small dd who is in the growth spurt bit - however its not spectacular as she'll probably only meet 5' 3'' max

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UsedToBeAPaxmanFan · 24/04/2015 17:15

I think it's rare for girls to grow once they start menstruating, usually their growth slows/stops at that point. Puberty usually means a slow g in growth for girls, whereas it's the opposite for boys, which is why at Year 6 lots of girls tower over the boys, whereas by Year 11 most of the boys are much taller than the girls.

I don't think there's any harm in taking your dd to the GP for some advice/reassurance. Your dd is probably absolutely within the normal range, but if there is an issue it's best identified early. One of my friends dd has Turner Syndrome. By the time she was diagnosed it was too late for growth hormone treatment. I'm not suggesting your dd has Turners Syndrome but you might just want to.ruke things like that out to put your mind at rest.

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SirVixofVixHall · 24/04/2015 17:17

I was the second smallest girl in my year at secondary school, until I was 15 when I grew 5 inches or more in a year. The other girl is 4'10" now I think! I didn't start my periods until nearly 16, so just had the big growth spurt rather late. My brother had the same late growth leap. I even grew a little bit after leaving school, I didn't stop growing until 19. I'm 5'8".

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Yikes123 · 24/04/2015 17:17

To those who said their DD looked years younger than their friends, this is what is bothering my DD. She looks around ten which frustrates her. I'm trying to boost her confidence and tell her how lucky she is as she could instead be six foot but look like the back of a bus! She is going to be lovely looking as an adult as she's gorgeous now with huge green eyes, heart shaped face, even features and long dark blond hair so I'm trying to make her realise that being tall isn't everything.

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HelenF350 · 24/04/2015 17:25

I was the shortest girl in my class at 12, I'm now 5ft 8! I wouldn't worry about it too much.

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tiggyhop · 24/04/2015 17:27

I was the same as SirVix. didn't really grow much till 14 (started periods then). grew again at 17. Stopped at 5ft 4.

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SirVixofVixHall · 24/04/2015 17:30

I was at a disco aged 14, I looked about 11 and my best friend looked so much more womanly. No one wanted to dance with me. My friend's mother had to insist to one of the boys that he ask me to dance!!! Oh the mortification!

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ErrolTheDragon · 24/04/2015 17:35

My DD was 139cm when she was 12 and looked young for her age. She's 16 now - and (sorry for mixing units!) 5'1 and a bit which is fine as I'm 5'1. She looks a bit taller when she's wearing her size 5 Docs! Grin She's one of the shortest in her year but it doesn't bother her much - it's never bothered me at all either. Some of the girls who were considerably taller than her in year 7 stopped growing earlier and she's pretty much caught up with a few.

I'm actually glad that she tended to look young rather than the poor little girls saddled early with women's bodies - especially nowadays.

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Maryberryjam · 24/04/2015 17:38

My dd is nearly 11 and is tiny , currently wearing age 7 clothes and a size 13 shoe . It bothers her that she looks so young when her friends are in small adult sizes and experimenting with make - up etc .

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LadyDeadpool · 24/04/2015 17:42

My DD is 12 and 140cm she has size 5 feet though! We were told at her 2 year check she'd take after her dad (5ft5) and she often gets mistaken for a 9 year old she has the beginning of puberty showing itself so we're not expecting her to end up very tall at all. Looks like her brother is going to be short too as he's only just fitting 18-24 month trousers lengthwise and he's 2 on Wednesday. In comparison my half brother is 6ft4! I'm 5ft7 and tall for my side of the family.

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Eastpoint · 24/04/2015 17:47

Once she's big enough h&m 9-14 year old clothes are good - fashionable but in small sizes. We also found Hollister good. Once she is about 5' & around 40Kg River Island have jeans which come up small. They are expensive (£40) but tiny.

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itsnotmeitsyou1 · 24/04/2015 17:49

It must be frustrating now, however I do advise finding ways of being positive about shortness, just incase the 'spurt' doesn't come. I had a friend who stopped growing around 10, fifteen years later she's given up hope on that push beyond 4'12 ever turning up. Shes learnt to love it, makes self depricating jokes about being 'vertically challenged', uses the 'small and cute' angle to wrap people around her little finger. I love my long legs, but I admit, I wish I was small and adorable at times.

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ErrolTheDragon · 24/04/2015 18:00

New Look has the 9-14 age range too and is (according to DD) where the girls who are into clothes like to go.

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ImNameyChangey · 24/04/2015 18:01

Yarp you'd feel "sad" for those girls who start their periods at ten? Confused that is a very negative attitude. MANY girls do this these days...it's not nice to be negative about these things.

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Sazzle41 · 24/04/2015 18:09

Be glass half full with her, a) she can always wear towering heels when she is older if she wants to . I cant, i scare people when i do, being 5ft11. b) if she looks young for her age now its probable that will continue and she will age really well. I looked way younger than all my friends as skinny/undeveloped & baby faced and I still get shock when i tell people i am 40+ these days so its all good/thankful now.

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Bunbaker · 24/04/2015 18:20

"Yarp you'd feel "sad" for those girls who start their periods at ten? confused that is a very negative attitude. MANY girls do this these days...it's not nice to be negative about these things."

Well, I feel sad for girls who start at 10. most girls don't start at 10. It isn't something I would say to the parent of a 10 year old who had started, but I would certainly think it.

Yikes if you have genuine concerns about your daughter is it worth having a telephone consultation with your GP to set your mind at rest?

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lastnightiwenttomanderley · 24/04/2015 18:30

OP. I am 5' with size 2 feet (31 yrs old). I remember being about 130cm in my teens and having a growth spurt at about 15/16.
I know how hard it is for your DD at an age where she desperately wants to be seen as an adult but still looks like a child. I was always behind the fashions as. They just didn't fit me! I remember being shocked when in my twenties an old school friend said she had envied how I always looked so elegant back then!

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