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AIBU?

to wish I'd slept around more when younger?

72 replies

whydobirdsfallout · 20/04/2015 13:49

I was ridiculously good in my youth. I had a few bf I didn't sleep with then a long term boyfriend of 8 years then my DH. So only slept with 2 people. Sometimes when watching stuff on telly like 'Made in Chelsea' etc. I wish I'd slept with more men. I do have a good sex life with DH but I am not that adventurous probably because of my lack of experience. I wish I had experimented more with men who didn't matter.

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Droflove · 20/04/2015 13:50

Experiment with the man you love instead. I don't think its lack of experience, its lack of confidence.

DoraGora · 20/04/2015 13:51

Don't worry; I did it for you. You didn't miss much, tbh.

Blazing88 · 20/04/2015 13:51

Hmm. I wish I hadn't slept around so much. I actually lost count. Although yes, did have great fun at the time.

Not a great way to be!

Grass is always greener and all that.

mileycyrusvirus · 20/04/2015 13:56

those who didn't sleep around in their youth tend to regret it later and vv

misscph1973 · 20/04/2015 13:58

While I don't as such regret sleeping around as much as I did, I do cringe a bit when I think of some of the men I slept with - I wish I hadn't been so drunk ;)

Can you play out fantasies with your DH? Perhaps pretend he is a one night stand? I'm sure he'd love it, most men like womens fantasies.

twirlypoo · 20/04/2015 14:01

I am another one who's a looker back and cringer! If it makes you feel any better I am totally jealous of what you have with your husband, I've never had that and it sounds wonderful! Experiment with him

DoraGora · 20/04/2015 14:01

Noooo, oooo

the I wish I had somebody else's knob in me, fantasy? What could possibly go wrong?

flora717 · 20/04/2015 14:02

I slept around in my 30's post divorce. Only because of the confidence of knowing what I want (ed). Experiences were really irrelevant. Just give something a try if you fancy it! No harm in it!

alittleegglayonaleaf · 20/04/2015 14:05

It's not all it's cracked up to be at all and probably slightly detrimental to future relationships - honestly if you want ideas on how to experiment then watch some porn and try them with your husband, you can build those memories together and they'll be far more meaningful

DoraGora · 20/04/2015 14:10

Thing is, though, you can hang out all day with people that you don't like. You don't have to shag them as well.

TrueBlueYorkshire · 20/04/2015 14:19

Slept around loads when i was younger, was fun the first few times but physical attraction can only go so far.

I am sure your husband will only be to glad to indulge your desires for a bit more experimentation. Life is long, why not try your hand at a bit of acting!

mileycyrusvirus · 20/04/2015 14:42

what does "loads" mean?

whydobirdsfallout · 20/04/2015 14:44

thanks everyone. I am feeling a bit more reassured. I think I need to work on the confidence thing with my DH. I don't know why it's lacking in my sex life as I am generally a confident person.

OP posts:

BasinHaircut · 20/04/2015 14:49

Curious as to why 'made in Chelsea' makes you wish you had slept with more people? I've not seen it but I think I know the gist of what it's about - rich kids having mainly orchestrated dramas with more rich kids because they are all sleeping/have slept with each other.

A bit of meaningless sex can be fun, but honestly, your 2 relationships are probably MUCH MUCH preferable to a string of casual affairs. I think you'll find those most of the people who are sleeping around are absolutely aching for what you have.

SailorTwift · 20/04/2015 14:50

I hear you. I've been with my p since I was very you g and have ky been with him. I'm in my 40s now. I did snog the odd few here and there but never wanted to go any further
I occasionally wish I'd lived a little more but that's life, I'm happy with it and the past is the past. I don't have the embarrassment of bumping into a past shag anywhere.

Ps made in Chelsea,'Essex etc is a load of fictional crap any way....but I still watch it lol xx

catgirl1976 · 20/04/2015 14:51

I think, if you could go back to your late teens and twenties with the mindset of a 40ish year old (more confident, more independent, less tolerant of crap, non-needy) and then ride rings around yourself it would be bloody marvellous.

But when you are young, you tend to be more insecure, more needy and sleep with lots of wankers for all the wrong reasons.

That might just be me, though.

SailorTwift · 20/04/2015 14:51

Ky = only been with him

Auto correct, sorry

Model5 · 20/04/2015 14:52

Does all that sex in Made in Chelsea make them happy?

I haven't seen it, but there always seem to be tears in the trailers.

MarianneSolong · 20/04/2015 14:53

I do feel it's a bit easier to stick with somebody long-term if you know/remember what the alternative was like. I'm a great believer in having kissed a few frogs. (Some people may have met their prince early on of course.)

Bonsoir · 20/04/2015 14:55

Sleeping around/trying out lots of partners is, IMO, something that people who are searching for themselves do.

Maybe you need to do some soul-searching and self-reinvention? That's perfectly normal and healthy, btw.

Focusfocus · 20/04/2015 14:58

I kind of hear you. I am 30, and the only 2 people I have had any sexual interaction with are my first boyfriend, and my second boyfriend who went on to become my very dear DH.

I sometimes wonder what it would have been like. I won't know!

whydobirdsfallout · 20/04/2015 14:58

Actually I can see what you're saying about the lack of a mature mindset when you are younger. I probably would have been a miserable emotional wreck.

Baisin, I think maybe I crave a bit of Made in Chelsea glamour! They are all sooo beautiful.

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FluffyMcnuffy · 20/04/2015 15:04

Honestly you haven't missed much I can tell you!

NotSkinnyYet · 20/04/2015 15:07

YANBU in my humble opinion.

I also did not sleep around when I was younger and I do feel as though I regret it/missed out on something. I lost my virginity when I was 19 to a random man who was 31 on a night out because I felt all my friends had lost theirs and I was getting left behind. To be honest it was a bit shit and he had some issues with his ex. I met my now DH a few months later and obviously we've been together every since, though I'm only 28 now. We have experimented a bit throughout the relationship but there is a lot we haven't tried.

I didn't have boyfriends growing up, in large part I believe due to sexual abuse I suffered when younger, so I kept myself to myself and was too scared/had no confidence to bother with them. I believe Bonsoir is right, for me anyway, in that I still haven't 'found' myself but I'm not quite sure what to do about that.

NotSkinnyYet · 20/04/2015 15:09

*ever since

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