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AIBU?

To think it's wrong to say someone's attractive....."for their age"

137 replies

Songlark · 13/04/2015 14:40

I hear it said a lot about older women. Comments like "for her age she's quite attractive" or "she's good looking for her age".
I just think the age bit is irrelevant. If someone is attractive, they're attractive, why add the "for her age" bit on.

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Blarblarblar · 13/04/2015 14:43

Drives me nuts!!! You look amazing...... for your age. I find it really patronising. I wouldn't say that to someone I'd just tell them they look gorgeous. Smile

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Sparklingbrook · 13/04/2015 14:45

Isn't it more to do with them looking after themselves?

Are you not allowed to say someone looks young for their age? That's a compliment isn't it?

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Bowlersarm · 13/04/2015 14:45

Oh really? I think I'm guilty of this then. I even say it about myself if I get compliments.

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CaitlinNewStart · 13/04/2015 14:48

YANBU

And why say someone looks 'young for their age'? What does 40, 45, 50, 60 (and so on) look like?

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Sparklingbrook · 13/04/2015 14:49

I have no idea. I will just add it to the ever growing list of things that must not be done/said I think.

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Songlark · 13/04/2015 14:50

No I think it kind of infers that older people aren't normally attractive. That's my take on it anyway, perhaps I'm wrong, but why on earth should age come in to it.

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Songlark · 13/04/2015 14:51

Sorry to baffle you Sparkling

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Floisme · 13/04/2015 14:51

Yup, drives me wild too. Why is it a compliment?

'You look good' is perfectly sufficient.

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Bowlersarm · 13/04/2015 14:52

Yep Sparkling another thing MN has taught us not to utter. I would have thought it a nice thing to say, but oh well.

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Sparklingbrook · 13/04/2015 14:53

It's ok Songlark, it's my usual state lately. Grin

TBF I am sure nobody ever says 'You look good for your age' to a person's face do they?

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Bowlersarm · 13/04/2015 14:55

I don't think you would say it to someone's face Floisme. To them you would say "You look good" I agree to add ......"for your age" would be not so great.

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Songlark · 13/04/2015 14:56

Well I've had it said to me. Sad

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HellKitty · 13/04/2015 14:56

I suppose it's like, 'you look slim...for your size'.

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Floisme · 13/04/2015 14:57

Oh but they do Bowlersarm I promise you Grin I'm afraid they catch the rough end of my tongue.

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AuntyMag10 · 13/04/2015 14:59

Yabu and I think trying very hard to be offended. I think it's a compliment.

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Sparklingbrook · 13/04/2015 15:00

Are you allowed to say they have 'a picture in the attic' or is that a no no?

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Floisme · 13/04/2015 15:00

Grin at trying hard to be offended If only I had to try....

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Blarblarblar · 13/04/2015 15:01

I've had it said to me. I'd just take you look great today I allways feel it's a but compliment.

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Bowlersarm · 13/04/2015 15:02

Well then I agree with you OP and Flo! I think it's rude to say it to someone's face; but a compliment if you're talking about someone. Assuming you know the age of the person you are talking about.

Or doesn't that make sense Confused. I'm confusing myself now Grin

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abigamarone · 13/04/2015 15:02

Why is it a bad thing though? I think Honor Blackman looks great at, or 'for' 89, but I'm sure even she would agree she doesn't look quite as good as she did 50 years ago.

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Floisme · 13/04/2015 15:03

Do people really not get it?

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Bowlersarm · 13/04/2015 15:04

I was thinking about Honor Blackman too, she seems to epitomise the phrase.

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Sparklingbrook · 13/04/2015 15:05

I am never speaking to anyone ever again in case I am offending.

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Songlark · 13/04/2015 15:05

It's usually younger men that say it.

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Rummikub · 13/04/2015 15:06

I don't like the 'for her age' add on either.
By the way I don't often hear this statement applied for men. They're just called attractive.

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