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AIBU?

HV has told me that my 20 month old DD is overweight. I'm at a loss

269 replies

Unappreciatedandfat · 30/03/2015 11:00

I've always put in every effort to make sure she eats healthily, she loves fruit and veg and I make every meal from scratch, no junk etc. She has small portions and they fill her up easily. She has the very occasional treat and only drinks milk or water.

We live on a farm so she's a very active toddler (she's been walking since 11 months) and just generally loves being outside. I'm so disheartened because I really thought that I was setting her up for being fit and healthy. I've recently lost 3-4 stones in weight jus through doing more exercise.
I see my friends with their toddlers who are a similar age and the right weight and they're fed chips, crisps, chocolate and given fizzy drinks and are sat inside all day long watching TV. What the hell have I done so wrong?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 30/03/2015 11:03

did your HV give you any ideas or strategies to get your dd's weight under control ?

LittleBearPad · 30/03/2015 11:06

How has the Hv determined this. Is it weight compared to height? Just a centime calculation?

sliceofsoup · 30/03/2015 11:07

What was this based on? BMI or centiles?

Unappreciatedandfat · 30/03/2015 11:09

She said small, regular, healthy meals and snacks and exercise but I do this anyway IYSWIM.
Neither me or her dad are particularly big built - although I've carried weight sometimes.

Chocolate is an occasional once a week treat like a small bag of milky buttons. She's always loved the healthy foods I've cooked. We've started having a lot of chicken stir frys and omelettes etc which she loves! She's not even constantly hungry and only eats what she feels able to, in other words she knows when to stop, I just feel like I've failed

OP posts:
Unappreciatedandfat · 30/03/2015 11:09

Centiles

OP posts:
sebsmummy1 · 30/03/2015 11:10

Can you tell us how they have determined your daughter is overweight?

eckythumpenallthat · 30/03/2015 11:10

Not to be dismissive but at 20 months they are still rapidly growing, dd goes through fazes of being chunky and eating me out of house and home. Them there's a massive growth spurt and she's like a rake.

Branleuse · 30/03/2015 11:11

i would ignore the HV. Youre doing all the right things, so its probably her natural build and nothing to worry about, Active and healthy food are the goals, not a particular size or shape

sebsmummy1 · 30/03/2015 11:11

X-posts - so according to the red book? If so what did they plot her as for height and weight?

BarbarianMum · 30/03/2015 11:12

First things first. See your GP and check your HV is actually correct, at 20 months 'overweight' is pretty difficult to judge. If so, how overweight are we talking?

Secondly do your friends really just feed their children crap and sit them in front of the TV all day? That seems so unlikely it makes me wondered if your idea of healthy is really skewed.

And really don't feel disheartened and defensive. It's hard to believe from your post that you've gone wrong at all, let alone very much. Smile

TurnOverTheTv · 30/03/2015 11:12

How much does she actually weigh? My toddler has friends who look pretty much the same as her but feel 'solid' when I pick them up!

sliceofsoup · 30/03/2015 11:12

What is her height and weight?

BikeRunSki · 30/03/2015 11:14

Do you think your DD is overweight? How does her height centile compare to her weight centile? Does she look fat?

Could your HV maybe have been a bit overenthusiastic because childhood obesity is in the news today??

BuildYourOwnSnowman · 30/03/2015 11:16

Firstly I would check yourself how she fits on the centiles

Then if it is high think about portions and how many calories she is eating on an average day and how much exercise she is really doing. The people I know who have overweight kids had very skewed ideas about what a small portion was

And just because food is homemade doesn't make it healthier necessarily!!

grumbleina · 30/03/2015 11:16

How overweight are we talking? Has she gained more recently or is she progressing upwards more or less steadily?

Maybe do a rough calculation of her average daily calories - see if it's inline with what she should be having. If it is, and she's not massively overweight, then if it was me I wouldn't worry. If it's over, then maybe just slightly smaller portions?

Unappreciatedandfat · 30/03/2015 11:18

I'll have a check in her red book when I go out to the car. I make sure my homemade food is healthy! Plenty of veg to bulk it out etc. much healthier than pizza or fish and chips

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 30/03/2015 11:18

Maybe it's the volume of food rather than the quality?

I know one person's idea of a small portion can be completely different to someone else's.

Do you find yourself giving her snacks to keep her occupied/busy when you're out and about or getting on with some work?

manchestermummy · 30/03/2015 11:19

I didn't even think the NHS BMI calculator deals with children under 24 months? I echo what others have said about establishing how your HV has determined this.

Fwiw, a HV told me that my dd1 was overweight, and I needed to keep an eye on the situation... She was eight months old at the time (and was neither crawling, nor pulling to stand, nor walking)

As a result of this ridiculous comment and others fired in my direction over the years (dd2 has colic? Seems unhappy most of the time? Well, she's probably just a miserable person; not much you're going to be able to do about that really), I unfortunately have a general mistrust of HVs. I think there probably are some great ones, but none of them seem to work where I live.

See your GP if you are at all concerned.

PuttingouthefirewithGasoline · 30/03/2015 11:20

hv often spout lots of crap, go to docs and get a proper opinon

TendonQueen · 30/03/2015 11:21

Does she look overweight, or much heavier than these other kids? It's not clear from your post whether you believe the HV and wish it wasn't true or whether it just seems unbelievable.

sliceofsoup · 30/03/2015 11:22

There are bmi calculators specifically for children. Easily googled.

I have had one good HV. And in the 6 years since DD1 was born I have seen 7 in total. The other 6 were crap.

TendonQueen · 30/03/2015 11:25

Don't feel like a failure BTW. And things can change a lot over a few years. My DS was not considered overweight, was low on the centiles, but still carried baby fat at 2, whereas he was like a whippet by 4 even though he was eating more unhealthy stuff as he burned it off through much more running around.

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grannytomine · 30/03/2015 11:27

When my first son was a baby, cant remember exactly but under a year, the HV gave me a lecture about his weight. He was due to see Dr a week or two later and he asked how things were going. I said it was fine but finding it difficult to follow HV advice as son was overweight. The Dr asked what had been said, while I was sitting there he phoned the local health centre and tore the HV off a strip, told her never to interfere with his babies. I was sent to Coventry at the health centre, if I took him in to be weighed I was dealt with in total silence. It was worth it though.

WorraLiberty · 30/03/2015 11:32

Blimey what a strange Doctor grannytomine!

I don't know whether to laugh at "Never interfere with my babies", or be totally shocked by it? Grin

PurpleCrazyHorse · 30/03/2015 11:35

I'd check weight vs height on the percentiles and then see your GP. I've never had a decent HV, lovely sometimes but just not very informed, or have quite old information. I've in fact refused to have DD weighed at school for this very reason. Really happy for the GP to check her BMI but not a random school nurse or HV due to the risk of error and then blindly following procedures.

I agree that portion size might be worth checking, it's easy to gain weight with lots of healthy homemade food, calories are calories after all. She's not drinking a ton of fruit smoothies is she?

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