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AIBU?

To be terrified of telling DH I've damaged the car?

125 replies

mostlyconfused · 29/03/2015 16:59

I've recently learned to drive and DH very kindly got me a new car. Today I scraped the front of it when parking. It's a huge scape at the front. I'm gutted. Not only has it really knocked my confidence , I'm terrified of telling DH. He is a fantastic, confident driver and will not understand how this happened. He will be very annoyed. I already feel dreadful and stupid. I'm half tempted to not tell him and hope he doesn't notice but I know he will.

I am a grown women and I've just made a foolish mistake, AIBU to feel so nervous/terrified about telling DH. I also know he will tell all his friends, work colleagues and family and I will be very embarrassed.

Also, does anyone have any similar stories of damaging their cars so maybe I don't feel so stupid?

OP posts:
LoofahVanDross · 29/03/2015 17:02

Which part of the car is it? Can you t cut it out. Like a sort of polish stuff? Or get a friend who knows about cars to do it.

If it needs proper repair then best just tell him. I'm sure he had bumps ad scrapes when he first passed his test.

monkeysaymoo · 29/03/2015 17:02

Natural to feel bad about it wrong to feel terrified about telling your DH.

I'm not going to tell you my story because it's quite recent and 'unique' that it would probably out me. Suffice to say it wasn't my finest driving moment and ended up costing us £500.

LaurieFairyCake · 29/03/2015 17:02

He will deliberately humiliate you?

He bought you a new car? Really? - surely it's just family money

Any relationship where you're scared to tell your dh is not great

mariamin · 29/03/2015 17:03

Lots of people have car accidents. It can cause an issue if finances are very tight. But I am concerned that you are terrified to tell your DH.

ApocalypseThen · 29/03/2015 17:03

Everybody damages a car when they're first out at some point. The real problem is being afraid to tell your husband about a scrape. Who cares about that? Nobody got hurt, it's easily fixed and if that's the worst you do driving, more power to you.

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 29/03/2015 17:04

He has absolutely no right to make you feel this way. It was an accident and you are a grown woman.

I hit a curb a few weeks after passing my test. Scraped the wheel (both the tyre and hubcap). I felt stupid anyway because I'd made a mistake and I'd have gone nuts at dh if he'd had a go at me for it.

ThankFuckSpringIsHere · 29/03/2015 17:04

I have a few:-

I was parking in a multi storey car park when a pillar jumped out of nowhere and I reversed into it. It left a lovely v shaped dent in my boot. I hate those bloody pillars!

I've left the handbrake off and my car rolled into DH's. That was nothing more than a few scratches.

I reversed into a wall. Thank goodness my spare wheel was at the back of the jeep.

CheshireCait · 29/03/2015 17:04

There's nothing wrong with your driving, everyone fucks up at some stage. Being afraid to tell your DH is not right, or normal. He has no right to make you feel bad about this.

ThankFuckSpringIsHere · 29/03/2015 17:05

OP there's a few mobile body repair people who will come out and repair the scratch for you.

Underthedeepblueocean · 29/03/2015 17:06

The ladies above are absolutely right.

EatShitDerek · 29/03/2015 17:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hakluyt · 29/03/2015 17:06

He sounds like a complete knob. Sorry, OP, that's not helpful, but a man who terrifies you, won't understand that accidents happen and will humiliate you in front of everyone does not sound like a keeper.

Does he tell you that he is "fantastic confident driver"? Because in my experience, people who say that are actually impatient, aggressive drivers..............

HellBoundNothingFound · 29/03/2015 17:07

I agree with other posters, the problem is you being afraid of your DH's reaction to a minor problem.

You should not fear another person! He should be relieved you are OK and that it's just one of those things. I really feel for you Sad

froggyjump · 29/03/2015 17:07

I hit a parked car 3 weeks after passing my test. I went and knocked on the door of the house it was parked outside and owned up. I was terrified! The bloke was really understanding, took my details and insisted I get back in my (parents)car and drive so it didn't put me off too much.

monkeysaymoo · 29/03/2015 17:07

Apart from my recent 'event' I also crashed by dad's car about a month after passing my test. Have reversed into a concrete bollard and have rear ended a learning driver.

Branleuse · 29/03/2015 17:07

youve only just learned to drive. You should see the side of my car!!
you have nothing to be ashamed of

PourMyselfACupOfAmbition · 29/03/2015 17:08

There's something about having your first scrape in a car that is uniquely terrifying and puts the willies right up you, God knows why!

Your husband probably will moan about it if he's anything like mine just tell him to suck it up. Accidents happen.

mostlyconfused · 29/03/2015 17:08

Maybe terrified was the wrong word to use. I'm just dreading it. I know he'll be very annoyed and I'll never hear the end of it. I'm very sensitived and I hate the thought of everyone knowing what I've done. DH will be grumpy for ages and go on about the cost of getting it fixed.

OP posts:
Weebirdie · 29/03/2015 17:08

I think its more important that you examine why you're terrified to tell him.


And bought you a new car? To hell with that. Wasn't it family money that was used for the purchase?


Im hoping that you're daft to be nervous and he'll tell you you were.

NerrSnerr · 29/03/2015 17:08

It's not right for you to be petrified of felling your husband. Last year I drove into a wall and scratched the front of our spotless car we were about to sell. I barely remember my husband's reaction.

monkeysaymoo · 29/03/2015 17:09

DH has never been cross about any of my mishaps not least of all because the last time he pranged his car it was straight into the back of mine. Double whammy!

MmeMorrible · 29/03/2015 17:09

OP it's totally normal to collect a few bumps and scrapes when you've not long learned to drive.

It's not normal to feel so anxious about telling your DH about a minor accident or to feel so pathetically grateful that he 'gave' you a car. As others have said surely this was a joint decision to spend family income on a vehicle for you?

BluddyMoFo · 29/03/2015 17:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

liveloveluggage · 29/03/2015 17:11

I agree most people have a few scrapes when they first learn to drive. In my family we've all hit the wall in my FiLs very narrow driveway. I also once hit a wall when I was first driving after not clearing the snow off my windows properly on a snowy day, the binmen were watching and gave me a cheer Blush.

NerrSnerr · 29/03/2015 17:12

He's an arsehole if he's going to be grumpy about it for ages and not let you hear the end of it. Aren't spouses supposed to be supportive?

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