to not want to go to a housewarming ?

[vienna1981]

Anyone who has looked at my thread participation with more than a passing interest will know I don't enjoy socialising. Consequently, this housewarming party held by one of my work colleagues is something I would rather avoid. I realise it might cause some upset but whenever I've been in a social situation with lots of people - no matter who or why - all I have wanted to do is leave as soon as possible. I just get worked up and uncomfortable. The last housewarming I attended was personally disastrous and I wish I'd never gone. I do appreciate that it is nice to be invited, however.

AIBU to tell my host thanks but no thanks and risk causing a rift or should I just go along and grin and bear it ?

Thankyou.

[TheOriginalWinkly]

I am quite sure that if you thought about it, you would remember that you already had plans for that evening. What a terrible shame.

[Hotpotpie]

Can it not unfortunately clash with a family commitment? I totally understand where you are coming from, I'm not sociable at all

[Welshmaenad]

Invent a pressing prior engagement, express regret, give a small new-home gift, stay home in your pjs and watch telly. Jobs a goodun.

[Hotpotpie]

great minds Theoriginalwinkly

[UncertainSmile]

I empathise, I feel the same in those situations. However, I've read your other threads, and there will be women there...

[Charlotte3333]

For me I'd go and just grin and bear it, but that's because I love parties and watching folk fall over and act like asshats after two cocktails. For you, I'd say just smile politely and decline the invite. It's lovely to be included but if you really, truly won't enjoy it, don't punish yourself because society makes you think you ought to enjoy something.

DH hates parties, housewarmings, weddings, christenings, pretty much everything bar sitting in his pants on the sofa watching House of Cards. I punish him sometimes by accepting invites, but if you're anything like him, it's almost physically painful. Don't do it.

[FuckingLiability]

Just say you have other plans that night, thank you for asking me. Job done.

[FannyFifer]

Not a big deal, just say you can't make it, no need to say anymore & make up excuses, just can't make it sorry.

[SurlyCue]

Please can i go in your place so i can present the new homeowner with a piece of wood? Ive been waiting to be invited to a housewarming ever since i found out that people used to bring things to burn to a new house and that wa why it was called a house warming. Yes i am very sad

[Allbymyselfagain]

How about going for one drink and inventing another engagement after? That way you've shown your face but don't have that horrible not wanting to be the first to leave Feeling either.

I know how you feel i generally end up dreading parties to the point of feeling sick in the run up to them.

[vienna1981]

Thanks everybody. Obviously I would prefer not to offer up a bare-faced lie as an excuse but nor do I want him to take it personally if I decline with abject honesty.

Tricky. Fortunately I have a little time yet to think.

[SurlyCue]

I would accept enthusiastically and then be quite ill the morning and day of the event.

[Itscurtainsforyou]

I would go, but say that you can only stay an hour. I'm not really sociable but find that if I know I'm on a limited time I feel much better about being there (& probably appear more sociable at the same time).

[Momagain1]

It is not a barefaced lie to have another commitment. Nobody has to know anything more about it, whether it was telly in your pyjamas, or tea with the Queen. If anyone else asks why you weren't there , it would be rude of you to do anything more than repeat exactly what you told the host: previous commitment.

[ThroughThickandThin]

Just say "sorry I can't make it".

What's the problem exactly?

[thewavesofthesea]

If I invited someone to come to something and they simply said they were unable to make it, but hoped we had a good time then I wouldn't think anything of it. No need to lie!

[SaucyJack]

I think you should go- and yes I do "know" you.

The mountain won't come to Mohammed.

[MrsItsNoworNotatAll]

I don't like socialising either. I get all angsty thinking about it.

Say Thanks but no thanks. You're not under any obligation to go just because you've been invited.

[claraschu]

Definitely go for a small lie along the lines of: "I would love to come, but can't". If you seem friendly and a bit regretful, declining an invitation shouldn't cause any bad feelings at all.