To ask what age your child was when you gave them 'the sex talk'

[Favouritethings]

Just that really..
And how did you explain it?
My son just said 'sexing' when I asked what he knew about sex he said 'when people rub their bits together'!!
I thought we'd naturally have this talk long before now but iv waited for his cue, I think it's time ??

[lostscot]

I was wondering about this earlier as my dd 8 was telling us Elphants babies come out their tummy buttons, she was rather confused when her brother 6 said " no they def come out their bums"! Think I might need to put her straight as rest of her friends seem to know more....

[5Foot5]

My DD was 7 when we covered the basics. I thought if I left it any later she would probably hear a garbled account from the other children at school (like I did!) so one day when I spotted the opportunity I just brought the topic up and did a simple summary.

[Hotpotpie]

I've been wondering this a lot lately as my step daughter is 8 this year, I've just found out that I'm pregnant and I'm expecting some serious questions when we tell her. My 'magic' answer just isn't going to cut it this time

[ApocalypseThen]

Mine are a little young just yet, but my mother told me when I was around six or seven. She had no sex education from her parents or in school and she felt that left her vulnerable and under aware when she hit puberty (it was scary for her, she had literally no idea what was happening when she got her period) and later, when she was pregnant.

She was a marriage guidance counsellor by that time too, so she saw other people whose personal education had been similarly neglected and had ended up in terrible relationships as a result.

Plus, she was worried about frightening and inaccurate information from classmates in the school yard.

When she told me, she was completely literal and matter of fact, and that's how I will broach the subject too.

[arethereanyleftatall]

Hmmm my dds, 6 and 4, know a lot about this as they're fascinated. Absolutely everything apart from penetration that is. They just know the willy plants the sperm. But, only last week my eldest has asked if she can watch it being planted next time it happens...

[CardiffUniversityNetballTeam]

DS is nearly seven. We haven't had a "talk" so to speak. Whenever he asks a question about sex I answer it. Seems to be working out for us so far.

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

I bought my 4 year old a (age appropriate) book

She knows egg meets sperm, penis goes in vagina, and I'm one of those parents who taught her "vulva"

[HighwayDragon]

My 5yo knows that sperm meets egg, baby grows in tummy, comes out vagina. She doesn't know how the sperm gets to the egg, just that the daddy gives it to the mummy.

[SilverBirch2015]

We just talked about it whenever the topic came up through everyday life, news, science and nature programmes. Keep it chilled and and unremarkable if you know what I mean. There are some great books around too starting from quite a young age. Having breeding pets helped.

[UseYourFingers]

I got books too! The 'what's happening to me' by usborne ones when my son was 8 and daughter 9. I'd talked to my daughter about periods when she was about 7 and asked what tampax was (in the middle of boots, at the highest decibel known to man and dog)

[OutsSelf]

We're not doing one big talk but just gradually building a picture over time. Right now DS is 4; he knows about periods and eggs, he knows vaginas are openings and he knows that sperm from daddies fertilise eggs. When pg comes up I just answer whatever question he asks and I haven't hidden my periods from him cos I can't get to the effing toilet on my own He's probably going to ask about the how of the sperm and egg thing at some point and I will tell him. My friend has a book called "mummy laid an egg"- it is funny and factual. We'll get that too when he's started to ask about the mechanics.

[FirstWeTakeManhattan]

I also go for the 'just answer honestly when they ask' approach. Nothing graphic, just factual and low key. Having chickens helps (eggs, fertilisation etc).

Get yourself some chickens

[Hakluyt]

You should never have to tell them. It should be just part of normal conversation from babyhood. But if it's too late for that, then I actually think it's better to give them an age appropriate book and make it clear that your happy to answer questions. I would imagine that a ""talk" - if you're not the sort of family who talks about thwt sort of thing naturally would be excruciatingly embarrassing on both sides!

[cleanmyhouse]

i had to tell my 2 at 4&5 after they'd been given some really bad imformation from a girl at school, including that "doggie style is when mummies have sex with dogs"
my eldest thought he was going to prison because i told him it was against the law to have sex until you were a grown up. she had "had sex" with them. they were both utterly confused and terrified so i had to explain the basic mechanics so they understood that they hadn't had sex or done anything wrong.
they got a very basic explanation and asked a few questions, giggled a bit and were happy they weren't going to prison.

[ArcheryAnnie]

Mine knew about the sperm and the egg since forever, but it was only when he was about 8 that he asked me how the sperm and the egg met. I told him how it usually happened (in a very matter of fact slot A and tab B way) and he laughed and laughed and laughed, then patted me on the arm and told me how funny I was.

(A few years on, he also knows that there's alternative methods of getting babies, including artificial insemination, adoption, IVF, etc.)

A lot of the discussions I've had with him since (he's now a teenager) have been less about slot A and tab B, but consent, and what it means.

[bearleftmonkeyright]

The book Where Willy Went was very helpful for me in explaining it. Its full of humour and really sweet.

[catsrus]

I just told them the truth when they asked, using age appropriate language - but always used the biologically correct term, penis, vagina etc. So they began to get the idea from a very early age - there was no big talk at any point.

[TheFirstOfHerName]

Children 1, 3 & 4:
We told them when they were 7, in the summer holidays before they started a school where they would be sharing a playground with 11 year olds. We wanted them to hear accurate information, not playground myth.

Child 2:
We didn't have to tell him as he figured it out on his own, aged about 4. He watched a lot of nature documentaries and extrapolated.

[ahbollocks]

I disagree with the throw the book in their room/wait to ask method, my mum did this and it felt like I wasnt allowed to speak out loud about it. Was quite shy of my mum as she's Catholic too, so I just struggled along, didnt even tell her I got my period!

[SilverBirch2015]

I can remember when DS was 4 or 5 responding to a Q about how babies were made say "when a Mummy and Daddy want to make a baby they have a special kind of grown-up cuddle in private". DS then said "when does the egg and willy part happen then?"

Quickly realised that you do need to be age appropriate and be accurate with the facts!

[MrsCakesPrecognitionisSwitched]

We've had lots of conversations over the years. Started when DD wanted to know about the baby in my tummy when she was 4yo, now we are doing puberty talks. I think it is an ongoing project rather than a one off chat.

[Vivacia]

This was a big deal for me and DP (due to our own sex ed and other childhood issues) and something we'd discussed a lot in advance. We did a lot from a very young age on acceptable touching, talking kindly etc.

I really wanted to be a cool mum when it came to talking about human sex (as opposed to the farm animals they'd seen growing up) but still felt a tad embarrassed saying it. There's something about a child's face when you say, "yes, humans do it the same way" that makes you doubt the truth of what you are saying.

[mousmous]

we don't have 'the talk' judt conversations about bodily funktions and boundaries. better give them the facts before they hear weird and wrong stuff on the playground. dc are 5 and 8 and know what they ought to know

[sofatastic]

We have gone for the answer honestly when asked approach. None of them has ever bloody asked anything! At 9 and 7 it can't be left too much longer...

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes]

Mine never asked questions, it all had to come from me, no breeding animals or pregnant relatives to arouse their curiosity either. The first few times we talked about they just weren't interested at all, but I persisted with working it into every day conversations from when they were about 9 and 7 when I realised it wasn't going to happen if I waited for them to ask me. They're 11 and 9 now and still zero unprompted interest from them but they do engage if I start the ball rolling.