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AIBU?

I can't help being unreasonable about this. Hand me a grip!

12 replies

GoadyFuckAaargh · 27/03/2015 10:23

Today is DPs birthday. Woke at crack of dawn with eldest to make him breakfast in bed and all 4 kids piled in at 7am singing happy birthday armed with cards and gifts. So far, so good.

A very nice morning to be fair (compared to our usual hectic routine) DP left house at 8.30am to do school run (it takes 45 mins and he is back at home for 09.15am usually, and I normally leave to start work at 09.30am.)

But this morning, he comes back at 9.40am in a pretty bad mood. I'm late for work, but don't stress as I know that there would've been a good reason.
Dropping dd off at preschool, he was blocked in by a HGV delivering to the childrens centre for 22 minutes, making dss1 and dss2 late for school. Then he had to drop dss3 at his preschool and I was obviously late for work.

He comes in, understandably miffed, hands me the keys while explaining the situation and the firts and only thing he is bothered about is what ExW will think.

Not kids late for school, not I am late for work but oh dear ExW will be mad at me.

To be honest I don't think her being mad should be the top of his priorities, and even so why mention it to me? So I told him, I couldn't care less what she thinks, you should be more bothered that the kids get marked down for lateness (clean sheet up til now)

I know I'm being petty, but I was kind of hurt by his flippant remark/thought process, as if she was still the first thing on his mind and he had to please her.

Reading this back, it's a total non-issue and I should get a grip.

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AGirlCalledBoB · 27/03/2015 10:26

Yep you need to get a grip.

It was hardly he fault they were late and I think the ex wife comment, was just that a comment not that he cared more about her than you.

It all sound pretty petty to me

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Bellwether · 27/03/2015 10:27

Why would his ExW be aware, or even care, about his morning issues? Was he on his way to visit?

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ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 27/03/2015 10:29

See it as a compliment. He knew you would be reasonable and understanding about the delay so he didn't have to worry about your reaction.

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GoadyFuckAaargh · 27/03/2015 10:41

Bellwether he seems to think a letter would go home from school. They live with us one week on, one week off - so it's hit or miss really who the school contacts. And in all honesty, she is the type to give him grief at any opportunity.

That's the thing ChazsBrilliantAttitude I was reasonable and understanding about the delay, not so much about the comment.

I am a bitch. I have massive grovelling to do

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isittheweekendyet · 27/03/2015 10:43

Also unsure as to why his ex would know he ended up running late this morning?

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isittheweekendyet · 27/03/2015 10:46

Oh I see. Sorry x post. I kind of feel a bit sorry for your dh if I'm honest if he can't stay relaxed about a genuine reason for being a bit late due to a delivery driver being annoying because he's worried how is ex would react. Go easy on him and be happy that he's clearly with someone now who is a lot more reasonable and measured about these kind of situations Smile

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MissMuesli · 27/03/2015 10:51

YABU but I do understand your thought process.I have an ex who LOVES it when simple things go wrong. He uses it as a chance to have a go, belittle me, send snide texts, sugguest dd lives with him instead. To be honest it causes me anxiety and I end up worrying about the most trivial things. Get a grip and concentrate on all having a nice day for DPs bday!

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Icimoi · 27/03/2015 11:47

Why do the two youngest go to different pre-schools?

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GoadyFuckAaargh · 27/03/2015 12:16

youngest were already in different pre schools before dp and I met.

dp exw will not change dss3 preschool and they have no space for dd, nothing we can do about that one. we have tried

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NeedABumChange · 27/03/2015 14:23

YABU. You sound like really hard work. He'd had a bad journey and sounded stressed, not sure why you felt the need to have a go.

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TRexingInAsda · 27/03/2015 14:32

Ah don't worry about it, it was a bit of a twatty thought process, you called him out on it, job done - just move on.

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DoJo · 27/03/2015 15:57

He was annoyed that a simple issue which was nobody's fault would be used as a stick to beat him with by someone who is looking for fault in all her dealings with him. That doesn't mean that she is his priority, just that she is the one who will cause him grief.

I do think you need to apologise for making an already annoying situation worse, but don't fall into the trap of thinking that he values her opinion over yours when it sounds like this was nothing to do with his feeling about you.

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