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AIBU?

To be sick of worrying about how I look?

19 replies

CambridgeBlue · 26/03/2015 07:53

I've put on weight again, not loads but enough that my clothes no longer fit and anything I try on in the shops looks crap :(. I know I need to do something about it and I know I should worry because it's not healthy but really it's because of the way I look that I will try and lose weight.

I am so sick of the cycle though, losing and gaining weight and then there's everything else to think about - clothes that are comfy, suit my budget and lifestyle and are seen as appropriate for a woman in her early 40s - not too young but God forbid not mumsy. I've got a busy life and it seems like just one more thing on the never ending to-do list.

It's so bloody time consuming worrying about how I look and I'm not sure why I do - I've got a DH and family who love me as I am, a decent job where my colleagues couldn't care less how I look (although I still worry what they - and everyone else - think). AIBU to wish I didn't have to bother about how I look?

OP posts:

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MrsFlannel · 26/03/2015 08:56

No...yanbu. I'm 42 and since having DC have gone up and down...but never reached my ideal weight. I'm not massively overweight but am a size 12-14 where I was a 10-12.

At my worst last year I was a 14-16 which was very uncomfortable for me. I've taken up cycling because I hate gyms and classes....and I've begun to feel so much better and am losing weight....I don't weigh myself though!

I go by my clothes.

Could you do similar? I started and it was hard but now I do 8 miles a day.

fairylightsbackintheloft · 26/03/2015 09:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsFlannel · 26/03/2015 09:21

I wear jeans and hoodies a lot. I don't think it makes me look bad...they're all "fresh and clean and newish" !! If you wear them with a bit of a "fit" then they can show off your waist or legs just as well as something more tailored.

fairylightsbackintheloft · 26/03/2015 12:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CambridgeBlue · 26/03/2015 18:54

I do exercise although must admit I've let it slip over the winter. I like walking and running but it can be an effort to go out when I get home after a day's work plus there's always other things to be done. There's a gym opening near my work soon with some good offers on, I'm tempted to join because having paid I might actually go but the idea doesn't thrill me - I much prefer doing my exercise somewhere a bit less 'on show'.

I've tried the 'wearing lovely things regardless of size' approach and it does work to an extent but I don't have time to make that much effort every day!

I am just fed up with worrying about how I look, never feeling 'right' and hating how I look in photos - it's not just about weight, I don't like how I'm ageing either. I know none of it is important in the big scheme of things so why does it occupy so much of my headspace?!ni don't want to give a toss but I do!

OP posts:

Sallygoroundthemoon · 26/03/2015 18:59

YANBU. I feel the same . I don't have weight issues but easily look tired and a bit rough. It is a constant battle to look ok.

Quitelikely · 26/03/2015 19:06

Yanbu.

How many lbs does your weight fluctuate by?

flashnorman · 26/03/2015 19:14

Yadnbu. I've been having this battle with myself yet again after having gained a stone. The same stone I've gained & lost about 5 times

pregnant woman standing on scales

Weight gain in pregnancy

Weight gain during pregnancy is one of life's certainties, but studies show that many women don't know how much weight they should be putting on – and could be putting themselves and their baby at risk

CambridgeBlue · 26/03/2015 21:28

I'm not massively overweight but heading that way :( I lost about 4 stone a few years back but the scales this morning tell me I have put on almost 2 again. I just can't face trying to lose it all over again - all the planning and thinking about food and getting excited about a handful of nuts or a minuscule chocolate bar as a 'treat'. It's hard enough feeding a family a healthy diet on a budget without having to factor in trying to lose weight as well.

OP posts:

toffeeboffin · 26/03/2015 23:31

I feel the same. And a lot of the time its not necessarily about weight, I just always have to make the effort with clothes, make up, hair etc.

Wish I could just wear track pants, no make up and hair slicked back every day! Also wish I didn't care about what I weighed, if I didn't care I'd be so over weight.

Social expectations eh?

toffeeboffin · 26/03/2015 23:34

I second what Cambridge says, its easier to look better when you are slimmer. Looking rough and slim is one thing, rough and overweight is another. And its so much easier to look good thinner! I don't care what people say, I've been a size 18 and a 10, its easier to dress as a 10.

lertgush · 26/03/2015 23:36

AIBU to wish I didn't have to bother about how I look?

Well, you don't have to. You could choose not to.

toffeeboffin · 26/03/2015 23:40

Sorry, realise this is the third time I've posted, but another thing is how differently people react to you when you are slim and well dressed. Methinks a lot of the time it's on a subconscious level too. People assume you are more intelligent, cooler and successful.

TheHermitCrab · 26/03/2015 23:50

I'm 27. Been a size 8, then 10, then 12, then 14, then back to 10, then 14, then pregnant, now a 16! (and I'm 4ft 11)

I give up. Thrown in the towel already! lol

OvertiredandConfused · 27/03/2015 00:34

YANBU - but probably unrealistic!

You sound like me. I'm 45, have gained about 1st of the 4st I lost three years ago. Worried I'm peri-menopausal with all sorts of changes to my body. Don't know what to wear and just exhausted by it all!

I've decided that I'm going to get back in the healthy BMI range (not too much to loose to do that) and then try and stop beating myself up. Life is too short. But the healthy bit does matter.

Good luck

MagicMojito · 27/03/2015 01:13

I can completely see where your coming from and I agree its just a bit shit really

I look semi decent when I step out of the house but it takes an awful lot of effort and it never lasts more than maybe an hour before I look rough as toast again.

IHaveBrilloHair · 27/03/2015 01:20

Yabu
And not because yabu as such.
I have to take long term medication that made most of my head hair fall out, then grow back curly, facial hair, I have a swollen head and tummy, am covered in bruises and in theory don't look great.
That said, I buy myself nice clothes and shoes, I post pics of myself of FB etc, because my friends love me, and I'm sure yours do too.
Would you love your friends less if they looked different?

CambridgeBlue · 27/03/2015 06:17

One of my best friends has lost all of her hair through illness but it hasn't changed how I feel about her in the slightest. Other people's reactions haven't always been positive though and it's wrecked her self esteem. Like it or not we are judged on how we look as much, if not more than how we behave.

Sorry you're having a tough time but good for you staying positive - love your username!

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Sulis · 27/03/2015 06:23

Yanbu

Reading The Beauty Myth and Fat is a Feminist Issue unexpectedly changed my life. I'm happier now, healthier than ever, genuinely like my body. Health at Every Size is a useful read too

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