Is there anyone else out there who has just found out they are expecting their third DS and coping with OTHER PEOPLE'S OBVIOUS disappointment?

(76 Posts)
spad Fri 20-Mar-15 20:24:24

I am delighted to be expecting our third DS. We have two utterly delightful boys and I am very lucky to be pregnant again with another healthy baby. We found out that it is a boy and today I started telling people.

Perhaps it is because we have had our family in quite a short space of time, our oldest is only 2, or perhaps I am full of hormones but the obvious disappointment that other people experience supposedly on our behalf has really brought me down.

If I wasn't so upset in other people's lack of excitement I would be angry.

Anyone else out there experiencing something similar?

AIBU to feel disappointed in the reaction of others?

UghReally Fri 20-Mar-15 20:25:28

YANBU,No experience but i do find it downright rude

iLoveFlop Fri 20-Mar-15 20:30:19

YANBU, however 3 under 3? I'm getting palpitations just thinking about it!

spad Fri 20-Mar-15 20:30:40

The woman in the local shop said 'what, no girls? Are you DISAPPOINTED???' But it is even kind and lovely people that I like. I can see it in their eyes. It really upsets me, like my boys are not quite good enough. How dare they?

SlinkyB Fri 20-Mar-15 20:30:44

Congratulations op. It is rude (I had the same; have a dss and two ds's)

spad Fri 20-Mar-15 20:31:18

Yip, 3 under 3.

The soon to be middle DS and youngest DS may have the same birthday!

spad Fri 20-Mar-15 20:31:38

Our youngest was 11 weeks old when I found out I was pregnant again!

Metalguru Fri 20-Mar-15 20:32:14

Yes I can relate, 3 dds and when pregnant with dd all I heard was "oh I expect DH is really hoping this one will be a boy" but I knew from 4 months we were having another lovely dd and we were both genuinely pleased as punch to have a healthy baby dd. Then after she was born people kept saying, "will you keep trying for a ds?" As if we'd only had the third in an attempt to even things out with a ds (for DH of course) ffs, used to wind me up!

ImperialBlether Fri 20-Mar-15 20:33:39

Congratulations! I think it's really lovely to have three of the same gender in such a short time - they will have an absolute ball growing up.

eyebags63 Fri 20-Mar-15 20:33:53

YANBU.
3 under 3? You are bonkers.... Good luck!

LucilleBluth Fri 20-Mar-15 20:35:05

Congrats op. I had two DSs and was pregnant with my third, everyone and their dog assumed we wanted a girl and I, like you was insulted on behalf of my wonderful boys......in my case I did have a dd, but I would have loved another boy too.

BernadetteMatthews Fri 20-Mar-15 20:35:08

I had this. Twats.

Congratulations flowers

lomega Fri 20-Mar-15 20:35:28

YANBU. It is very rude. I'll never forget how much it hurt when my area manager at work noticed I was pregnant and said 'please tell me it's a girl, we don't want any boys, yuk.' I'd just had my 20wk scan and found out I was having a son, I was gutted.

Everyone says "when you have your next baby (I'm not 100% I want another) I bet you'll want a girl." I always feel angry and want to say actually my reproductive choices aren't anything to do with you, and for WIW, I'd love another son, as my DS is such a joy.

Best of luck OP. People are dicks.

m0therofdragons Fri 20-Mar-15 20:37:02

We had twins as our 2nd pg so 3 under school age. It was busy but fun. We got lots of comments re being disappointed as all 3 are dds and dh got more of that than me. people couldn't grasp that dh was delighted. In other words, people are idiots! Huge congratulations - 3 dc is fab

ChopperHopper Fri 20-Mar-15 20:38:02

Yes - whilst I was expecting DS3 a lady asked me if I knew what I was having. When I replied that it was a boy she asked me outright if I was really disappointed. My older two DS are so lovely and beautiful (in my eyes obviously) and DS3 had come as a massive but angst filled surprise soon after a traumatic miscarriage. I was absolutely gutted that she asked me that and I went home and cried.

I had no doubts that I loved and wanted him with all my heart. I decided to stop telling people the sex because I didn't want to feel that way again.

Congratulations on your beautiful boy. I can only tell you that my three boys bring me the greatest joy as I'm quite sure yours will too.

parallax80 Fri 20-Mar-15 20:39:16

People just say some totally unhelpful things. FWIW I had a total stranger come up to me when I was about 6 months pregnant with DC2&3 and say "you should have had a bigger gap between children". Obviously I was more massive than I should have been as it was twins and there was only 19 months between them but even so, what was the point? I was clearly committed by that stage!

(YANBU btw)

parallax80 Fri 20-Mar-15 20:41:54

iLove I had 3 under 2 and it's busy but fun.

RocketInMyPocket Fri 20-Mar-15 20:42:00

I have one of each, and am constantly told how 'lucky' I am and how I don't 'need' to have any more, and that gets on my bloody nerves, so imagine you have it worse.
YANBU

MogTheForgetfulCat Fri 20-Mar-15 20:42:26

I had this - DS3 was the only one I found out the sex in advance. I had people openly pitying me, in front of my DSs (5 and 3 when DS3 came along). I perfected my Paddington Bear hard stare, and acted baffled as if I thought they were total wankers for pitying me. Which I did grin. Children are fab, whatever their sex. My boys are all so different, utterly gorgeous and totally delightful. Congratulations and have fun with your sons smile.

Strokethefurrywall Fri 20-Mar-15 20:43:32

Oh 3 boys, I'm so envious!!! I have two, would love a third!

I think I would start calling people on this, especially with the downright rude responses. I think a withering look and a "do fuck off" would be sufficient.

Congratulations, what a fantastic little gang of lads you'll have!!! thanks

RocketInMyPocket Fri 20-Mar-15 20:44:52

And 3 under 3! Gosh, I had 2 under 2 and that was bloody hard, you need a medal OP.

Congratulations btw smile

Whyisitsodifficult Fri 20-Mar-15 20:50:38

I have two boys then my third was an unexpected girl. We had lots of people saying "you must be really pleased that you've now got a girl" I always felt really sad for my sons. They would be stood there hearing all this and what must they have thought? You can't win really!

Titsalinabumsquash Fri 20-Mar-15 20:51:12

Yep, been there! DS3 was due on DS2's birthday but he came 4 days early.

The comments "Oh that's a shame, maybe next time?" When finding out it was a 3rd boy made me really, really cross. I'm pregnant again with DC4 and they've said at the 20 week scan that it's most likely a girl, people have taken to saying (IN FRONT OF MY BOYS) "oh finally, you must be delighted to be getting a girl!"

Absolute arses the lot of them. angry

Congratulations, 3 boys is lovely to have. smile

BellMcEnd Fri 20-Mar-15 20:51:38

I have 3 boys and if I had a £ for everytime someone said something along the lines of "you must want a girl" or "will you have another to try for a girl?" Or "ooooooo! 3 boys?! How do you cope / I don't envy you / your house must be crazy" etc etc et fucking c then I could have probably bought a private Island in the Caribbean.

It drives me nuts! I have 2 friends with 3 boys and 1 who had her 3rd boy last week - they all get the same. It's bloody RUDE!!!!! Personally, I would have been happy whatever I had, I consider myself so incredibly lucky to have had 3 (mostly) easy pregnancies, 3 straightforward births and 3 healthy babies (and me). Congratulations! It'll be awesome flowers

BellMcEnd Fri 20-Mar-15 20:53:21

And as if you get to choose the sex anyway!! Sorry, will stop ranting now.

Twats

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