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AIBU?

To think that you 'get on better' in work/ life

55 replies

Elfina · 10/03/2015 16:58

...if you dress up more?

Slightly disingenuous post as I'm not sure.

Obviously, it depends on your context. I work in the NHS,and although I feel like being comfy, I wonder whether I'd get more respect etc if I wore heels and make up.

What do you all think?

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alwayslookingforsomething · 10/03/2015 17:00

Maybe get on better with being slim rather than overweight with that kind of thinking?

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GreenPetal94 · 10/03/2015 17:04

I work in the NHS too and I don't wear make up but I do wear smart shirts and suit or jacket since I took on my this job. Its a more senior job and I want to look professional and I do actually think it has made a difference to how people perceive me. I meet new people a lot in my line of work.

So I'd agree on dress smart. As for dress up, that can look over done. There was a secretary at my old work who wore wonderful dresses, heels, make up etc and she did look good but a lot of people laughed at her secretly as it was over the top and she was pushing sixty.

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StrawberryMojito · 10/03/2015 17:05

I think someone who looks smart and well groomed is going to get taken more seriously than someone who looks shabby. I suppose if it looks like a person can't be bothered to make any effort with themselves it doesn't send a good message about how motivated they are generally. That said, I don't think you have to be in heels and make up to look smart and well groomed. In fact, I think if you looked overly made up it could also go against you as some (probably male) employers may not take you seriously.

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Skiptonlass · 10/03/2015 17:05

Sad but possibly true, at least in the office drone environments. I'm quite short and look young for my age. I'm quite casual in my office but I always power dress for meetings or people think I'm nine years old. I find myself not only dressing smartly but acting slightly more forceful as well. I have a handshake that can break bones :)

It's probably less so for jobs that don't have an office component...( when I used to be an academic, dressing smartly was viewed with bafflement and mild suspicion.)

The main thing for getting ahead is to be smart, but not too smart, stick with stuff and make sure your boss is on your side.

Rather depressing for me, having been moved from my previous fabulous boss to some absolute corporate moron.

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daisychain01 · 10/03/2015 17:09

As a general rule , respect is built from the way you behave (professionally, competently, reliably).

Wearing heels and makeup when you are in a clinical role is inpractical in many cases, in an office based role maybe it's fine. But unlikely to get you promoted on the strength of just that alone.

Do colleagues not take you seriously?

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Shetland · 10/03/2015 17:12

I'm NHS too and I have to say I am honestly surprised at what some people consider suitable work clothes. And unfortunately, I suppose because men have less options - suits are expected, they often look smarter and therefore, IMO, more professional. I often wonder if some women do themselves no favours if wanting to be taken as seriously as their male colleagues. Honestly, if it wasn't for their work passes around their necks it would be hard to tell if some people were staff or visitors.

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VenusRising · 10/03/2015 17:13

Of course looking more of what we judge "professional" gets you treated more respectfully than if you rock up in casual clothes.

We are monkeys who wear shoes, and judge each other extremely quickly based on looks.

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KillmeNow · 10/03/2015 17:17

There was a secretary at my old work who wore wonderful dresses, heels, make up etc and she did look good but a lot of people laughed at her secretly as it was over the top and she was pushing sixty.

So this woman took care of her appearance - looked good and wore wonderful clothes but you laughed at her because she was 'pushing 60'

Ye Gods!

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sparkysparkysparky · 10/03/2015 17:24

If you are caring for patients, I hope you are not caked in make up. I spend far too much time as a patient and hate seeing excessively groomed men or women caring for me.
Clean and tidy, heels or no will do for me.

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PtolemysNeedle · 10/03/2015 17:30

I don't think make up and heels matter as much as clothes do and general grooming matter.

Light make up makes nearly every woman look better, and I do think people get taken more seriously if they look good.

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nottheOP · 10/03/2015 17:30

I would say the key is being appropriately dressed so that people don't really notice what you're wearing as it just fits in with you and your environment.

I work in an office but rarely client facing. My clothes are fairly smart but heels and blazers aren't necessary. I wear heels if it suits my outfit, the only comment it attracts is that I look tall.

I always wear make up but some don't and no one cares. You don't need it to be smart and presentable.

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PtolemysNeedle · 10/03/2015 17:32

Sparky, you have an interesting perspective. I hope you don't mind me asking, but what is it about heavily made up people caring for you that makes you uncomfortable? Is it just carers of a personal nature, or do you find it uncomfortable with senior doctors as well? Just curious!

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DecaffTastesWeird · 10/03/2015 17:35

Kill, in fairness Rainbow never said she laughed at the secretary. She just said people did.

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BohemianRaptor · 10/03/2015 17:38

No, I work with animals, dressing up would be ridiculous. Even mascara is a possible contaminant in theatre. My colleagues and I have a mutual respect for each other's competency. Looks don't come in to it.

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UnikittyInHerBusinessSuit · 10/03/2015 17:39

I think it's more complicated than that.

Looking at the women (especially the young ones) in my industry there's a need to look smart, groomed and prosperous, but looking too glamorous or "sexy" is in danger of marking you down as a bimbo (there's an eighties word for you, but it expresses the concept) who's been hired for their looks not brains, and pins you to the reception desk. Long hair, cleavage, high heels, lots of makeup - all of these things will make many people assume your role is not a demanding one, and you're not capable of anything more. It's a tightrope and, I need hardly say, an incredibly sexist trap.

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1moreRep · 10/03/2015 17:43

I think that you could look deeper into it, perhaps being well dressed, groomed and looking good can be a result of attributes that lead to success in work life.

For example, slim/ fit may be due to the person going to the gym- which can help with confidence, self discipline and time management (ie ppl who fit the gym in daily are better at time mgt in order to fit the workout in and planning as they have to plan the work out)

Well dressed- may be well organised, planning outfit night before

Made up- confident, aware of self image and how others perceive them

Just thought it may be a different way of thinking about it instead of the impact of their look on others iyswim

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Applecross · 10/03/2015 18:04

There have been studies about well groomed people earning more, I think generally perceptions are partly formed by these sorts of things although overtime other factors carry more weight such as whether you are actually good at your job.

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Elfina · 10/03/2015 18:08

1moreRep I think you've hit the nail on the head!

I do work with patients, but as a clinical psychologist. But as I'm newly qualified, I wonder whether IT would make me feel more confident.

On a separate note, and just because I'm curious about opinions - do you think attractive people, who dress well (but suitably!) get on better??

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TwoOddSocks · 10/03/2015 18:10

I'd agree in general, unfortunately I'm a massive slob and spent too long in a field of academia that considers a pair of jeans as boardering on over dressed so there's no chance to make a well groomed adult of me.

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1moreRep · 10/03/2015 18:16

I think that being attractive gives people confidence when meeting new people because initially we all like to meet attractive people and then this confidence as we grow older can go into meeting all new people like an interview, presentation as they wont be obsessing weather they look ok, worrying about others opinions and therefore focus on the task in hand

It is so easy to blame or success or failure on others without looking at ourselves in my oppinion

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Charlotte3333 · 10/03/2015 18:19

I have to dress fairly smartly for work as our Headteacher is pretty strict about what is/isn't appropriate attire for an infant school. But I tend to live in capri trousers, ballet flats and blouses. But then, I spend probably 40% of my time tending to upset children, cleaning up vomit or asking them not to eat pritt stick. So power-dressing wouldn't work for me.

I agree that I'd far rather be overdressed than underdressed, and I always wear clean, pressed clothes each day. But beyond that, I think you can go far in life with other vitals, such as respect, kindness and manners.

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70isaLimitNotaTarget · 10/03/2015 18:24

I have an NHS uniform (white tunic, black trousers, flat black lace-ups)

I don't wear make-up, I would worry about it smudging (I do my eyebrows though) wear glasses, no nail varnish, minimal jewellery.

I don't think patients would think more or less of me if I wore make-up. Thankfully I don't have to worry about what to wear. Just has to be clean and smart.

IRL , I wear make-up if I want to, but not every day.

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sparkysparkysparky · 10/03/2015 18:28

Ptolemy - it is bits of mascara or other stuff flaking off. In the case of the male obstetrician who was involved in dd's delivery: too much aftershave. I feel the same about senior consultants or trainee nurses. The best medical professional I have dealt with was a nurse who had, shall we say, a very up close and personal sort of job. She was clean, tidy and professional. It made the whole experience more tolerable.
I think it is how you carry yourself in any job, including mine, that has the biggest impact.

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Stillwishihadabs · 10/03/2015 18:30

I work in the NHS too. I would say looking clean and tidy is what I aim for (short clean nails, hair tied back usually ironed and collared shirt and fitted trousers). I think the consultants sometimes wear deliberately impractical clothes or shoes as a status thing eg: "I am so senior I dont need to run for an emergency or get covered in blood or sick"

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PtolemysNeedle · 10/03/2015 18:34

Eww over the bits of mascara flaking off! You make good points.

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