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AIBU?

AIBU or is he regarding breast feeding?

307 replies

Thereisnoplacelikehome · 01/03/2015 16:29

I am currently pregnant, it's my 3rd child and Dp's first. We can not agree on anything to do with raising the baby. I am aware we should have thought about all this before deciding whether to have a baby or not.

The biggest thing is breast feeding. I think I should try to breast feed. My reasons are

It's free
It's much better for the baby
It's more convenient, no making up bottles in the middle of the night etc

Dp wants me to bottle feed, his reasons are

He finds breast feeding disgusting
He thinks science beats nature so formula will be made much better than breast milk

So who is being unreasonable? Dp says he is happy to get up in the night and make up bottles.

OP posts:
monkeysox · 01/03/2015 16:30

He is very very unreasonable

NickiFury · 01/03/2015 16:31

He is. He sounds really ignorant. He needs to do some reading.

NotSayingImBatman · 01/03/2015 16:31

Really? Whatever.

MinceSpy · 01/03/2015 16:31

He is being utterly unreasonable

Thereisnoplacelikehome · 01/03/2015 16:32

I've read out all the facts from the NHS site about it but he's not having any of it.

OP posts:
adsy · 01/03/2015 16:32

Gosh you've hooked up with a well informed clever chap.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 01/03/2015 16:32

He is being VU. Do you really need to ask?

Silvercatowner · 01/03/2015 16:32

Sheesh he sounds a charmer.

dobedobedo · 01/03/2015 16:33

he is being unreasonable. wayyyy unreasonable.

WiIdfire · 01/03/2015 16:33

Perhaps you should breast feed, and express into bottles so he can get up at night to help with the feeding?

I realise that isnt quite what you are asking, but this way your child gets the best nutrition, AND you get some sleep :-)

BitchPeas · 01/03/2015 16:33

Take him along to your next midwife appointment and let her explain it to him....slowly so he understand.

MrsDumbledore · 01/03/2015 16:34

Obviously DP is being unreasonable! Great if he wants to be involved in feeding and willing to make up bottles, get up in the night etc, but his reasons for not wanting BF are ridiculous. There is plenty of info out there you can educate him with on the second point, but not so much you can do about the first point, which I find a bit worrying as suggests he doesn't have the most healthy view of women and what their bodies are for! Sad

By the way, if it was you saying you didn't want to do it, I would be in support of you, as I think it is a complex issue for mums and no-one should be made to feel bad for not BF. But if you want to, it needs to be your choice.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 01/03/2015 16:34

Seriously? He literally knows nothing about the subject then and he needs that pointing out to him.

Is he otherwise a thoughtful and pleasant chap?

CrohnicallyInflexible · 01/03/2015 16:34

Science beats nature? So he's had his hip joints replaced with synthetic versions then? And his heart valves? And whatever other body parts you can get synthetic versions for?

Of course nature wins in most cases. Science is there to give nature a helping hand when it needs it!

trashcanjunkie · 01/03/2015 16:34

For fucks sake, AIBU is full of morons and their idiotic other halves today. Really woman? Bottle feeding is fine if it's what you want to do, but even the formula companies acknowledge breast milk to be superior.

Your dp is ignorant, tell him to go and speak to a health care professional. I bet he bloody won't. And I'd be surprised if he admits to anyone else the crap he's spouting. Honestly? He sounds like a dick.

Pagwatch · 01/03/2015 16:35

Gosh, he is quite the dickhead.

climbing · 01/03/2015 16:35

He's a twat

hotfuzzra · 01/03/2015 16:35

Tell him you're going to bottle feed him to shut him up, for now.
Then when baby comes along feed him/her however you feel best, and 'D'P can fuck the fuck off.
What a douche.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 01/03/2015 16:36

I sense some trouble brewing for you and him if he's dismissing your previous experience of having children.

CountingThePennies · 01/03/2015 16:37

Did you breastfeed your other children?

Royalsighness · 01/03/2015 16:37

I heard another partner saying is wife was absolutely not allowed pain relief during child birth, like it had anything at all to do with him, the idiot.

Do what you want to do, assuming you will be the primary care provider, do what you feel is most easy and comfortable.

AnyFucker · 01/03/2015 16:37

I think your H sounds like someone who hates women

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SylvaniansAtEase · 01/03/2015 16:38

Wow.

Not only is he an uninformed idiot, he's also a pushy controlling twat who thinks he actually has a say in how you feed the baby? Newsflash: he really does not. Really, really not.

Tell him that you will be breastfeeding as that's the best thing for the baby. The fact that he doesn't think so is, sadly for him, his problem. You will also be breastfeeding as it's your decision.

Hopefully this is a temporary blip - a very bad blip - in an otherwise reasonable, supportive man? If not, here's your first red flag towards getting rid of him. I don't jest. No good person tries to instruct a woman in whether she should breastfeed or not.

Thereisnoplacelikehome · 01/03/2015 16:38

He is normally kind kind and caring honestly and I've no doubt that he will pull his weight with the baby. He's just driving me mad with this because I know I'm right and he won't listen.

OP posts:
Paintedpinksapphires · 01/03/2015 16:38

He finds it disgusting? He's saying he would find your breasts disgusting while feeding your baby in the way that nature designed?

An breathing respirator is designed by 'science' it's not better than your lungs doing it naturally.

You can use a kidney dialysis machine to make your kidneys function but it's not better than them working properly.

I wear contact lenses but it's not better than my eyes being 20:20 on their own.

Has he ever seen anyone breastfeed? I'm guessing he'll say know whereas in actual fact he has lots of times without even knowing it.

Breast feed your baby. Educate your man.

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