My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To be irritated by this attitude?

12 replies

ScathingContempt · 28/02/2015 00:19

Okay so it's only minor but I feel like it reflects a wider attitude.

Daughter (18) had a box of treasury tags out several nights ago. I was sweeping up under the table and the box was open and the tags scattered all over the floor. I told her & she said they weren't hers because she'd only used two. I pointed out that if she'd put the box away they wouldn't be scattered all over the floor. So she said 'would you like me to tidy them up for you?' I replied that I would like them tidied up but she wouldn't be doing it 'for me' since it wasn't me who put them there. She rolled her eyes and my partner called me petty.

I know it's minor but I just feel it's symptomatic of the attitude that tidying up is my job, regardless of whose mess it is. Like when we have someone coming over and my partner points out what needs clearing or cleaning but doesn't move to do any of it, even when it's not my visitor, nor my mess.

I don't mind doing general household cleaning, obviously.

OP posts:
OutragedFromLeeds · 28/02/2015 00:25

Everyone should chip in with cleaning and tidying. It shouldn't all be left to one person.

I don't understand the tags bit though. Did you knock them over? If so then your DD is right, it was your mess.

ARoomWithoutAView · 28/02/2015 00:27

The home is a place for all of you. You all make mess, and all should clean in equal proportions. A home should be cherished, and nurtured. A place of sanctuary and the passport is your little brass keys. And when you turn the lock, not one of you should be a slave to another.

Arses need kicking.

PiranhaBrothers · 28/02/2015 00:33

A home should be cherished, and nurtured. A place of sanctuary and the passport is your little brass keys

Pass the sick bag.

Sorry but YABU OP, you knocked the box over so you should clear it up. I would have done it with staccato commentary: "If. You. Had. Put. This. Away. It. Wouldn't. Have, Fucking. Happened"

Agreed that daughter should put stuff away/close the box properly after she's used it though.

ScathingContempt · 28/02/2015 00:35

No, I found them all over the floor, the box lives in the stationery cupboard and she'd left it lying around. Don't know how they got on the floor by my reasoning was, if she'd put them away they wouldn't have ended up on the floor.

It's not world war 3 or anything, I just don't like them assuming it's always my job to tidy and when they do some, they're doing me a favour.

OP posts:
Canyouforgiveher · 28/02/2015 00:36

She was sitting there doing nothing (workwise that is)while you were sweeping- right? So her correct reaction would be to jump up and say omg let me help you. (actually her best reaction should be to have asked "can I do that sweeping for you mum")

For her to actually ask do you need help is off to me-you see a family member needing help and you give it. did she - and your partner-expect to sit there looking at you while you got down on your hands and knees and picked up the tags? And then resume sweeping - while they did ... what?

If my partner pointed out to me what needed cleaning up by me, I would walk out the door and spend the next 6 hours out of the house. I would need that time to calm myself down.

olgaga · 28/02/2015 00:42

Crikey I'd have asked "Does anyone want these treasury tags on the floor?"

If no answer, sarky answer or a "No", then I would sweep them up and dump them as ostentatiously as poss in the bin.

olgaga · 28/02/2015 00:46

And if my partner ever reeled off a list of what needed cleaning, I'd say "That's great! You've obviously got it all organised. Let me know when you're done and I'll make you a cup if tea".

Don't be a martyr!

OutragedFromLeeds · 28/02/2015 00:47

'A place of sanctuary and the passport is your little brass keys'

Grin I actually laughed out loud at that. It was a literal lol.

OP If you didn't knock them over then YANBU. Whoever knocked them over should pick them up. Her attitude stinks.

PiranhaBrothers · 28/02/2015 00:49

Well if you didn't knock the box over whilst sweeping then she should have cleared them up.

ScathingContempt · 28/02/2015 00:50

Ha I would except I'd have to buy some more when I wanted some! I have been known to throw belongings out when left on the 'take upstairs' step for too long though.

Can, I didn't walk out, I just carried on playing with the baby and letting the visitors arrive to an untidy hallway, which is what my partner had complained about. So now Someone From Work has seen our untidy hallway! The horror! I don't care, I don't work there, I don't have to deal with the 'untidy hallway' rumours plaguing my working life from now on!

Like Someone From Work even gave a shit about the 623 wellies behind the door.

OP posts:
DeliciousMonster · 28/02/2015 06:48

can I do that sweeping for you mum

No. Not 'for you mum'. Perhaps 'oh, i need to tidy up my mess, sorry mum'. The sweeping is not 'mum's job'. Or it shouldnt be.

paxtecum · 28/02/2015 07:09

Op: your DP sounds a quite mean.

Presumably he thinks that tidying up and cleaning is beneath him.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.