Not sure who's BU - me or my kids.
They're 14 and 12. My mealtimes rules have always been:
- Back straight
- No elbows on the table.
- Elbows tucked in.
- Bring cutlery to mouth, not the other way around.
- No reloading of fork while still chewing previous mouthful.
There are other rules I'm sure but those are the ones I constantly have to fight about!
This is the way I have been brought up but as far as I can remember my parents never had to fight for it, by the time I was 5 or so it had been drilled into me and now it would take me an actual EFFORT to eat all slouched down with my elbows on the table etc.
So I don't understand why it's such a bloody struggle to get my kids to eat like civilised human beings!
My argument is that manners are very important and I want them, when they are adults, to be able to feel comfortable and confident in any environment, and not behave like Neanderthals.
I also find it unpleasant to have to watch them eat slouched down.
My 14 y.o. is OK...whenever I say 'sit up straight' or 'elbows in', she just does it.
My 12 y.o. argues with me over it! His arguments are: 1. we are at home so they should be allowed to relax and feel comfortable and not be harassed. 2. Manners are important but I don't realise that they (my kids) already have much better manners than most kids they know so I should give them a break. 3. He thinks I am showing poor manners by criticizing them! (But I point out I am not merely criticizing for the sake of it, I am bringing them up!).
So anyway, AIBU?
I would LIKE to give them a break (it's not bloody fun for me!), only if someone could reassure me that I have sown the seeds of good manners already and if they ever get invited to tea by the Queen they'll be just fine.
But I'm scared of letting go and failing them by not ensuring they are well brought up.