PEGI/BBFC Ratings -To Tackle My Ex. Again or Not?

[GirlInASwirl]

I have mentioned to my Ex before about films and computer games that I think are suitable for my DS (up to 12s). He is still letting DS (11 and a half) watch 15 and 18 films/playing games during contact visits. I think Ex is deliberately doing it as he knows I cannot control what happens when he is with him. I believe the ratings are there to protect against exposure to adult themes/horror/discrimination.... too early.

DS is a sensitive soul and has been upset by some content in the past and has come back with some 'choice' language learned. I let Ex know of this. DS is just starting the process of becoming streetwise - which I am supporting him with. But I calculate we still have about 2 years to get some good foundations in for his teenage years.

My Ex seems to want him to grow up prematurely; and doesn't see PEGI ratings/BBFC (film board) ratings of any indication of suitability. He often lets him play them alone and this reduces any discussion on content/themes. He let his cousins buy him two games for Christmas (both of them 18s).

I am definitely not a prude. But I am concerned about overtly sexual content, glamourisation of violence, despairing views of the world, scenes of drug taking/crime etc. And don't think DS is ready for discussions on these topics just yet.

How concerned would you as a parent be? Any ideas of how to tackle this next?

[OutragedFromLeeds]

I wouldn't be happy with this.

Could you tackle DS rather than your ex? Is he sensible enough to understand why stuff isn't suitable? If he's been upset in the past, maybe you could encourage him to think more carefully about what he watches.

[GirlInASwirl]

Thank you for your reply Outraged.I have tackled it with DS (to an extent) but I think I will present him with the PEGI/BBFC guidelines (he is a IT buff) and talk him through what the categories mean in more depth. I could also use his views tackle any misconceptions.

DS has told Ex that he is ,'not allowed to watch 15s/18s' (brave) but then is told to 'relax' or 'you're at Dad's house now' (or words to that effect). So mixed messages are getting through. I also think there is a curiosity as to what adults watch; which is why there needs to be some monitoring there.

The last thing he saw involved zombies and DS was awake, scared of the dark with flashbacks of mangled faces - which coincided with his Dad having a unsightly eye infection which made his face deformed. 2-3 weeks of comfort and re-assurance were needed at bedtime.

As you can probably guess; this is one of a few issues of undermining during contact.