To think neighbour should stop her DD doing this?

[MrsTawdry]

My neighbour (not the one I posted about yesterday!) has a 2 year old DD. I have two older DDs and they do like the odd play together.

However, the neighbour's DD has taken to arriving at her own door having been to the shops or park or nursery....(we both live in flats on same floor of small block) and then hammering on my door and shouting for my DDs.

Neighbour says "Oooh she went up the stairs so fast and then she was freaking out and calling for the girls!!" and I'm thinking "So stop her before she gets there!"

Neighbnour says she feels cruel telling her DD (PFB) not to do this.

Surely you wouldn't just let this happen? It is now every time she leaves or arrives....so I have this constant intrusion and sometimes my DDs saying "Oh can we?" and moaning about me being cruel when they're meant to be doing their homework!

today I am afraid that I totally ignored the door and the plaintive wails....and Dd was giving me beseeching looks...but it's really too much!

AIBU though? I am a bit of a private person and feel a bit hemmed in!

[Moniker1]

Can you get your DDs to take her back down to her flat or tell them they will have to do their homework instead of watching some fav tv programme later. So that then there is disadvantage for them in having the 2 year old visit.

Annoying having the banging on the door, even more annoying if your DDs are making you feel bad.

[maz210]

No, you're not being unreasonable at all. Your neighbour is being quite rude in continuing to allow her daughter to hammer on your door, you are certainly not being rude to ignore it.

I wonder if your neighbour actually wants your daughters to play with hers and is angling for this, hence why she doesn't stop her daughter knocking?

I had similar problems with my own kids hanging over the fence shouting for our neighbour's daughter, I nipped it in the bud quickly by telling them it was very annoying behaviour - they were NOT to do it and would be brought in from the garden immediately if they continued. Admittedly they were around four at the time, but I would have dealt with it the same way if they were younger. When does your neighbour plan to start teaching her child normal social boundaries?!

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

I think your neighbour is looking for some child free time so hopes you'll have her DD over to play. Consequently, she is not stopping it.

[FightOrFlight]

If this is happening all the time then the Mum knows damn well what she's about to do and could easily intervene and stop her.

Agree that it sounds like she wants a bit of free babysitting.

[FightOrFlight]

Meant to say - keep on ignoring the door. Mum might step in if she thinks she's going to have to deal with an hysterical child every time that happens even if her daughter doesn't get the message.

[MrsTawdry]

No she's not after free babysitting because she's usually happy for mine to go over to hers!

[EmpressOfJurisfiction]

But that would still count as having her DD entertained for her, wouldn't it? I agree, I'd keep your door closed and let the mum have to deal with her DD.

[DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease]

Agree, she's after free entertainment for her dd. A toddler knocking on my door frequently would really annoy me too.

[laughingmyarseoff]

YANBU the mum is being ruse. If you keep up the ignoring though then that will make the neighbour realise-eventually. Your DD has to learn as well that you don't give in to those who shout the loudest.

[MrsTawdry]

Ah yes...I see where you're coming from. It IS cheeky isn't it? And I'm not being possessive but I like seeing my DC when they get in!

[starving]

Is anyone else worried about a 2 yr old "escaping" from her home, or is it just me?

[MrsTawdry]

No she doesn't escape. It is as they come in from shopping or whatever. We both live on the same floor (2nd) and there's a set of steps to climb in the shared corridor and entry...so the baby shoots off up the stairs ahead of her Mum and the Mum allows this...she then lingers and buggers about whilst the toddler bangs my door down and shouts for my DDs.

[MidniteScribbler]

Can you tell your neighbour that certain times you will not be allowing your children out to play? "I am having some difficulties with the children doing their schoolwork. I have decided that from when we get home until 4:30pm they will be working on their homework with me. Please do not allow your daughter to knock during those times as it is causing me difficulties in keeping them focused on their work. They will only be allowed to play from 4:30pm to 5:30pm on school days as I need them have their dinner/bath/cleanup in order to go to bed at a reasonable time." Don't ask, tell her, but you're not saying "piss off you're annoying me" and give a time when it is suitable to play.

[MrsTawdry]

Thing is I don;t want them "available" after 4.30 either as that's when we eat...well 4.30 to 5 anyway. Then I like them to have a shower, read, chill...I think I will tell her "Only on Fridays from now on" so she knows

If it happens again tomorrow, I will open the door, say no and let her reap the tantrum from her DD.

[EmpressOfJurisfiction]

Don't open the door! If you do that you'll end up with your DDs, the neighbour and her DD all ganging up on you. Just ignore and eventually the neighbour will have to remove her DD without your involvement.