To have a messy house, be unorganised, meal plans fail etc and I'm a SAHM

(319 Posts)
Totallyuseless31 Sat 24-Jan-15 19:45:41

I'm a stay at home mum to a toddler and a school age child. I drop dh at work every morning, then DD1 to school then I have basically 9-3 with my toddler. I pick DD1 up from school at 3.30 and DH up from work at 6. I can never get dinner ready for when we come in so DDs get overtired and go to bed late as dinner is late. My house is a tip and could do with a good clean. DH works overtime every weekend as the pay is double and is more than my full time earning power in his 2 days overtime. I do sell a lot of bits and bobs on eBay in the evenings so need to visit the post office most days. I currently do not take DD1 to any toddler groups and this is something I would like to start, as well as having a clean house (it will never be completely tidy lol) and meals that are home cooked and ready for when we come home in the evenings. But I just cannot seem to do this! I do not seem to have the motivation or organisation required. How do I achieve this? Surely 9-3 is enough time to get everything done? Plus I have weekends on my own which I could utilise. I know a full time working mum who runs a better home than me and she is single as well with ex having no access and she has no family help. What am I doing wrong? I need help to become organised!

laracroft2001 Sat 24-Jan-15 19:50:12

What do you do between 9&3 currently?

douchbag Sat 24-Jan-15 19:51:54

Do you have a slow cooker?

Mammanat222 Sat 24-Jan-15 19:52:50

Where are the kids at the weekend?

Mammanat222 Sat 24-Jan-15 19:53:42

Or do you mean you are on your own with kids at weekend (not on your own as I initially thought!)

notonyourninny Sat 24-Jan-15 19:53:57

flowers toddlers are hard work.

LadyLuck10 Sat 24-Jan-15 19:54:16

What are you doing between 9-3? That's an awful lot of time to get nothing done. Are you even doing anything with your toddler?

arlagirl Sat 24-Jan-15 19:54:59

What exactly do you do during the day?

Sorry you sound ridiculously disorganised.

notonyourninny Sat 24-Jan-15 19:55:12

Are you eithout dcs at weekend?

Mocheenee Sat 24-Jan-15 19:55:38

Doesn't your toddler have a daytime nap? Surely you could prep the dinner then if so? Struggling to 'get' your problem when you so much time available. Can you cook in bulk and freeze meals in advance? Can a friend/relative pop over for an hour a couple of times a week to help you out?

Totallyuseless31 Sat 24-Jan-15 19:56:21

I go to the post office, tidy up, give toddler snack, browse internet, give toddler early lunch (11,30) clean up from lunch, get toddler to sleep, put a wash load on, go back to bed until school run ( toddler doesn't sleep through) pick dd up, come home do snack do reading with dd, watch TV with dds or mumsnet, pick Dh up, come home mad panic making dinner, get dds to bed, shower, list items on eBay and package parcels

PrincessOfChina Sat 24-Jan-15 19:56:50

I would concentrate on getting out a bit more with your youngest to be honest. It will help tire her out and mean that you're not at home making a mess!

Then have a think about what you want to tackle housewise first. I'd start with the kitchen cupboards which would also help you get a handle on cooking.

MrsGoslingWannabe Sat 24-Jan-15 19:57:00

Why don't you feed the children at 4.30/5 before you pick up DH? And just go to a toddler group once a week, it'll do you both good.

Totallyuseless31 Sat 24-Jan-15 19:57:07

Yes I do have a slow cooker but always forget to put the food in it sad I'm hopeless.....

Totallyuseless31 Sat 24-Jan-15 19:57:41

On my own with kids at weekend

notonyourninny Sat 24-Jan-15 19:59:09

7 days a week at home being in sole charge of dcs is hardcore. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Finola1step Sat 24-Jan-15 19:59:11

Toddlers are hard work, especially ones that don't sleep through. How much sleep are you getting at night and during your nap?

Totallyuseless31 Sat 24-Jan-15 19:59:14

No I don't do anything with toddler I. The day, she comes post office with me, then follows me about cleaning, has lunch then a nap then time for school run

Mocheenee Sat 24-Jan-15 19:59:16

You go back to bed !! Therein you will find your problem !!

Lifesalemon Sat 24-Jan-15 19:59:16

Dont be too hard on yourself, life is hectic with a toddler. What about a slow cooker or have a cooking session once in a while and make chilli, lasagne, shepherds pie etc for the freezer. Put jacket potatoes in the oven to be ready when you get in. Tackle a room a day and blitz it and then try to keep on top of it by setting aside an hour a day to do the basics.

Totallyuseless31 Sat 24-Jan-15 20:00:03

Toddler wakes about 10 times a night so im exhausted and lack of sleep makes my depression worse sad

DragonMamma Sat 24-Jan-15 20:00:11

Either drop your nap and get stuff done (which is when I used to do all my things) or stay up later and prep dinner for the following day.

I can be a bit of a slattern but dinner isn't that hard to get done, even if you do a bit of prep through the day!

RebekahMikaelson Sat 24-Jan-15 20:00:12

You go back to bed?

Are you depressed? That is not normal. My toddler has never slept through the night so I sympathise but fgs.

You need to get into a better routine. And make the dinner during the day, ready to go in the oven when you get in.

merrymouse Sat 24-Jan-15 20:00:19

Is your problem that you are sleep deprived?

Honestly though, if you want to get stuff done get off the internet.

laracroft2001 Sat 24-Jan-15 20:00:26

I would cut out the Internet browsing... Toddler snack,lunch and clearing up surly isn't more than 20 mins in total. Switch the wifi off between 9 and 3

When u r out at post office (every day?) go via the park with toddler

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