To ask how people in high-stakes jobs cope with the pressure?

[marvellousmistermars]

I have just qualified as a solicitor, which is something I've studied and worked for for ages, but now I'm not sure whether it's what I want to do. I work in a big firm which does corporate law and the hours and pressure are considerable.

I'm constantly terrified of making a mistake, to the point where I have started checking things obsessively (like 5 or 6 times when logically I know it is OK). I feel like I could so easily make a mistake and cost the firm thousands, if not millions, especially when I've been working for 15 hours straight.

The culture is fairly macho (although not too bad for the type of firm) so I don't feel like I can tell any colleagues how I feel or ask for their advice. I don't think HR will be able to help much - maybe I'm just not cut out for it?

It's got to the point where I am constantly anxious about work things, often when there's no specific need to be worried. My nerves aren't good anyway, as I have had problems with anxiety in the past and also PTSD-type issues and I'm conscious that with a bit too much pressure these things could become a real issue.

Just hoping for some advice from anyone who has a similar type of job. I'm aware that I'm very early on in my career and am hoping that I can improve things.

[PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom]

What are your techniques for dealing with anxiety generally? You need to use them as a starting point.

I was a solicitor in that type of firm. It is very hard if you are an anxious person and I've seen more than a few people burn out, so you need an action plan now. Are you someone who finds logic helps? Checklists?

At a practical level, who is checking your work? Because, realistically, if you fuck up as an NQ, it is their head on the block and not yours. I always felt my supervising partners had my back if I did stuff up, which is vital I think.

[Letmeeatcakecakecake]

I think this is a confidence issue due to lack of experience. If I were you, I would do the following;

1. have a friendly catch up with your superior, let them know about your anxieties and say you're constantly checking your work. Do they have any advise or feedback to offer?
   
   
2. discuss your anxieties with any other professionals on relevant forums? Is there a solicitors institute that has one where you can discuss your issues with other NQ solicitors, and even more experienced ones to see how they coped?
   
   
3. find a healthy way to channel your anxieties. Whether it's talking to someone professionally/ going for a run at lunch time/ meditating... Find what works for you and focus.
   
   I hope it will go down in time, don't keep it bottled up and I'm sure as you become more experienced they will just melt away!

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

Mistakes do happen especially on tight timescales and long hours and hundreds of pages of docs. Most mistakes are easily rectified and have no consequences.

As you get more experienced you start to get a feel for which things absolutely must be double and triple checked e.g. mispellings probably not critical; failing to register a charge in time - potentially critical.

I second the advice above about finding ways to deal with your anxiety.

[Seriouslyffs]

Well no-ones going to die if you fuck up!

Agree that supervision is key, but in comparison with the responsibility of a paramedic or social worker your job really doesn't matter but you're massively rewarded financially.

Get a grip sense of proportion.

[SolomanDaisy]

I think there are lots of coping strategies you can put in place, such as finding techniques that work to calm you down, good time planning, finding a mentor. But I also think sometimes you need to decide whether you have the right personality for the type of stress you are experiencing in your current job. I took a job which had caused the three people previously in post immense stress and they had all left under unpleasant circumstances. It was mildly stressful for me, but entirely manageable as it was the type of stress I could cope with. I wouldn't last a week as an air traffic controller or something like that, I feel a bit panicky at the thought. You need to try and work out whether this is stress you can manage.

[YesIDidMeanToBeSoRudeActually]

Seriouslyffs, what an unhelpful post. So no ones allowed to moan about their job unless it involves people dying? Did you really need to be quite so rude?

OP, this may sound very simplistic but it really helped me with the multiple checking problem. I wasn't a solicitor but involved in creating legal docs and used to make a template checklist for different tasks. Then once I'd drawn it up, would check it and tick off the templates then I knew it was ok and had been checked. Sounds childish but it really helped.

Also agree it is key to talk to someone at work, is your supervisor helpful?

I also found a physical activity, running or swimming, outside the office really helped me to relax and switch off.

[cassie1051]

I used to be like this too! I think a combination of experience as I got older and reading up on 'the imposter syndrome' really helped me. Now I look back and can't believe how insecure I was in my job when I started out! I also starting thinking things like 'in 5 years time will this report I'm stressing over matter?' to get some perspective on my anxieties.

A book I found so helpful was The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women (sounds like a horrible self help book but it's actually really good!) but I think it's only available via Kindle. Couldn't recommend it enough!

[tobysmum77]

I dont think it's unhelpful to point out the difference in stakes.

I think op that you need to accept that everyone makes mistakes and you will make one at some point. Probably when you do it will be a good thing as it will be less scary.

Sounds far too much like hard work for me . There are less pressured ways of working as a solicitor though if you want to have a life.

[Apatite1]

Well, I have a job where people DO die if I fuck up (not that is the only kind of stressful job, but there's a certain heightened awareness as my mistakes would be very immediate and completely fatal) I have to live with that. I have to make peace with that. I actually try and zone everything else out at work, I don't let myself distracted. When I get home, outside of my study, I never ever let myself think of work. I'd never be able to relax. It's taken me ten years to get here though: many hairy moments and lost sleep in the intervening years. I don't have a quick solution, but I promise this will get better. You're not the only one thinking "shit, what am I doing here?!" I know that feeling v well. Fake it till you make it!

[marvellousmistermars]

Just to clarify, when I meant I was after advice from people with high-stakes jobs I did mean doctors, nurses etc! Thought that was obvious...

It's true that no one will die if I fuck up but the feeling when you realise you have made a mistake like that is like when you realise at the airport that you have forgotten your passport... x100! Not very nice. Also could potentially ruin someone's business, get the firm sued for millions, be 'the one that fucked up' etc.

I have in fact already made quite a big mistake. Luckily it could be and was rectified, although not without some effort, and it was a really horrible feeling. Part of the problem is that I really don't feel that my boss has my back at all and I feel quite under-supervised at times. I now worry that because it happened once (and it was so easy) it could happen again.

Re my coping strategies, I do run and this helps. I also try to make sure I eat properly which is not easy at work because often there is just not time (e.g. meetings that last the whole day with no catering).

The checklist thing could work well, I think.

[Alwaysinahurrynow]

OP - completely understand where you are coming from. When I first started out, I got really worried about everything and occasionally still do. However, I'm now in a position where people come to me and admit they've made a mistake and clearly anxious about it and 99.9% of the time, they are worrying over something which can easily be fixed. Being a solicitor, you are generally risk averse (it's what makes you good at your job within reason) and hence worrying about errors is almost part of the DNA.

[fromparistoberlin73]

It might be that whilst you do want to be solicitor , working in a high octane firm like this is not for you op
There exist of course many other smaller less stressful practices where you can use skills

Relate to this as career ' military service ' and learn what you can. In the meantime look observe and devise if this is the life you want

What hours do the partners do?
Do they have a work life balance ?
Are there other less stressful jobs out there ?

This kind of working life is not for everyone and you have choice and options

[simbacatlivesgain]

The higher that you get in a company the easier it gets.

[MoreBeta]

You might want to have a course of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). Its a talking therapy especially good at dealing with stress, irrational fear and obsessive compulsive behaviour that stems from that - such as repeatedly checking the something over and over.

One technique is to think about 'what is worst that can happen'. Think it through carefully and rationally in a time when you are not under stress. Then work out if the consequence is worth worrying about. If it is a serious consequence focus on what you have to do to avoid that one thing - not about everything.

I suspect your 'fear' is something that is rooted in your childhood. Fear of being told off or punished for something you might or might not do is quite common. High intelligence, high achievers are especially prone to this.

[Fleurchamp]

I think what you describe is perfectly normal. I am also a solicitor.
Mistakes are made when people become complacent, the moment you stop caring is probably the time to get out!!
I cope by having a sheet on every file with a checklist. I diarise every date and flag up anything unusual in big letters on the file (I basically treat myself like an idiot).
Do not try to rely on your memory for everything.
Type emails without anyone's address in the "to" box, only fill it in when you are happy with its contents. This avoids sending unfinished/ unsuitable emails.
Check anything you are unsure of, go with your gut. If your first instinct is that something isn't quite right, it probably isn't, double check with a more senior member of staff (and do it in writing/ make a file note- this job is all about CYA - covering your ass!)

You will still have those sweat inducing panics at 1am that you haven't done x,y and z but they shouldn't be every night!

Also, don't think you should know everything. It's perfectly reasonable to check yourself.

Lastly, keep in mind that your firm has insurance, it is there in cases of f*ck up. Most issues can be resolved with a few £££ and no one gets hurt

[CatBreath]

I can relate somewhat OP. I was "in preparation" to become a Detective Constable. I had the ability and I would've been a good DC but the pressure was too much. The workload was unbelievable.
I was seeing a therapist at the time for anxiety. She said "just because you are good at something doesn't mean you have to do it". I would say the same to you.
You can do your job but in a different field. You can find a less intense role. I did this. I thought I'd be bored but other opportunities do come up and you can find enjoyment elsewhere.

[Lawgal448]

Hi op, another solicitor here, I'm almost 4 PQE now and I agree with other posters that it does get easier - your first year or two are the hardest. Some great tips from Fleurchamp especially the one about going with your gut feeling - if you're not quite sure, always run it by someone else.

Organisation is key - like Fleurchamp I have a constantly updated to-do list and all dates/deadlines in my outlook calendar (I'm a litigator so there are lots of those).

You will make mistakes - we all have - but they can nearly always be rectified as long as you fess up immediately. You feel awful at the time but it does fade, I promise!

Agree that it really helps to have someone to talk to. One of the girls I trained with remains one of my best friends (despite us both having moved on from our training firm) and she has been a lifeline to me - and me to her. We sound off to each other when we're stressed, have a bit of a cry when one of us has fucked up, chat about our career progression etc - if you have anyone you can talk to like that definitely do.

Finally my top tip: when I'm really stressed (usually if my workload has just gone insane) I tend to find myself suddenly thinking about things I should have done, will need to do soon, or need to remember to put in a letter or something - it comes to me when I'm at home, in bed, and often in the middle of the night I wake up and think of things. (I know I am stressed when my sleep is being disturbed.) My solution has been to email myself at my work address from my phone (which never leaves my side) with whatever I've just thought of - that way I can relax knowing I won't forget to deal with it tomorrow. Occasionally this has led to getting into the office in the morning to slightly nonsensical emails from the Middle of the night but it really helps me.

[Lawgal448]

P.S. Feel free to pm me if you want a chat off board.

[Tribeca10013]

I talk to partner,friends,collegues i have affinity with to debrief
Some things i cant discuss directly with partner but i can scope the themes
When i get home I immediately shower and change,makes me feel mentally and physically clean
I dont drink,dont smoke,try eat healthy and keep perspective
And i have children so i have to be mum too,they mean i slip effortlessly into that role.good distraction
I work in a field that can be pilloried in press and mn.everyone on mn reckons they could do it better.

I compartmentalise to maintain balance.im lots of roles

Having said all that i love my job,the urgency,the demands,the pace.i wouldnt do any other job

[marvellousmistermars]

Thanks everyone, this is all great advice and helping me feel like I'm not a lunatic or a failure.

I definitely agree about organisation, and I think one of the things that contributes to my anxiety is that I'm not a naturally organised/tidy person and would love to become one! I am also under-confident, feel like it's crazy that I have only done this work for a few months as a trainee and now have actual responsibility. It doesn't help that my supervising partner's method of training seems to be to 'toughen you up' by giving more responsibility than is actually reasonable IMO...

[EdSheeran]

I was given a good piece of advice when I embarked on my career; "you will make mistakes and you will fuck up. Instead of trying to achieve the unachievable, just learn to deal with the fact that you are a fallible human being".

I get really bad anxiety in general. The pre falling asleep haze is the worst. It's when my mind goes around in circles and my work worries feature very predominantly. I have started listening to relaxing music and doing some relaxation techniques. I am attempting to learn to meditate but it's not going so well!

I get regular supervision and I make the most of it. I plan ahead what I'm going to say and I write it down so I don't get bamboozled in there. With my previous manager, I used to send an agenda in advance. My current manager has a different style and opens with asking me about my general emotional state which gives me an opening to start talking. If your supervisor isn't that sort, then the aforementioned planning method is helpful for bringing it up.

It's easy to burn out. It's easy to let work take over your personal life. It's easy to suffer from work related stress. It's hard to keep on top of it but so important.

[Jackieharris]

Move into another field of law?

Become an in house lawyer for the public sector or an NGO?