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AIBU?

what would you think?

21 replies

Sophrosyne · 26/12/2014 16:56

If for xmas, your stbxh gave you your favourite luxury chocolates that you had been asking for for years but never got? (he left for another woman nearly six months ago, I have been strictly NC except with regards to the kids, and divorce is on it's way)

Guilty conscious, friendly gesture or wants back?

OP posts:

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Trills · 26/12/2014 16:57

Messing with your mind?

Enjoy your chocolates.

Try not to think about them as anything other than some chocolates.

AuntieStella · 26/12/2014 17:15

I'd say no great meaning.

He's just remembered the thing you were always mentioning.

And is perhaps getting to a stage where amicable co-parenting might be possible, as it seems he is (belatedly) capable of listening to you and responding appropriately to what you say.

IBrokeTheInternetB4itWasCool · 26/12/2014 17:38

He's a slow learner? I wouldn't overthink it tbh.

Earlybird · 26/12/2014 17:43

None of the explanations you suggest.

He couldn't be generous/thoughtful toward you when in the relationship, but can do so now that you are both moving on. You are well rid. Don't waste your time thinking any more about it.

Enjoy your chocolates.

WipsGlitter · 26/12/2014 17:45

What do you want it to mean?

AskBasil4StuffingRecipe · 26/12/2014 17:55

I wouldn't waste brain - space thinking about it.

I'd just enjoy the chocolates.

He never bought you them when you were with him?

What a mean bastard. Good thing he's gone.

Enjoy them even more.

Sophrosyne · 26/12/2014 17:56

I wish he never gave them to me. (I didn't get him anything) I am over thinking it as it is so out of character for him (being attentive and thoughtful). There is so much animosity under the surface, I just can't see what he wanted to accomplish?

OP posts:

WineWineWine · 26/12/2014 18:01

Just enjoy the chocolates and think nothing of the motive.

MammaTJ · 26/12/2014 18:44

My then H put central heating in our house in October and then left me in December for OW, stating that he had been thinking of leaving me for 18 months. He put all the costs of the central heating on his credit card.

Same reason as your STBXH bought you chocolates, I guess, guilt!

We will never know for sure, as lying cheating bastards wouldn't know a straight answer if it slapped them in the face.

wowfudge · 26/12/2014 18:46

I wouldn't eat the chocolates if it were me. Such an empty gesture on his part.

FollowTheStarship · 26/12/2014 18:49

Yes guilt. Or wants to torment you with what a catch you have lost (in other words tell himself what a catch he is). Or he is able to be nice to you now, as you are not with him, and OW is now who he takes his nastiness out on.

While there could be nice reasons, if he is behaving with animosity, it's unlikely to be a nice reason.

velvetspoon · 26/12/2014 18:50

I'd have given them back. I've never accepted a gift from my Exp. since we split, I wouldn't demean myself to take anything from him.

WaitingForMe · 26/12/2014 19:03

Could it come from her?

I once pointed out to DH that the gift he was planning to give his ex from the kids was crap and used the words "does she have any favourite chocolates or toiletries?" (I've been married for years, I'm not OP's ex's OW!)

ItsGonnaBeCoolThisChristmas · 26/12/2014 19:06

I would think, at best, he's a bit thick, thinking now it would be a nice guesture.

Otherwise he's being plain old manipulative (under the guise of that snake oil of losers "charm").

ItsGonnaBeCoolThisChristmas · 26/12/2014 19:07

If he was a nice man he would have bought them for you while you were together.

CalleighDoodle · 26/12/2014 19:35

Lol @ waitingforme!

He was unhappily married and joe he has left he can think beyond how unhappy you were together and do something for you. It is a nice thing. Youre tied to him for a long time so just accept it as a nice gesture.

CalleighDoodle · 26/12/2014 19:36

now he has left. Not joe.

Bair · 26/12/2014 19:39

My ex did this when I booted him out. Suddenly attentive and full of gestures. Just made me think the bastard was capable when we were together but chose not to, it was only worth the effort when he was missing out, not worth the effort to make me happy.

usualsuspect333 · 26/12/2014 19:39

I would have told him to stick his chocolates.

KimSlazinger · 26/12/2014 21:29

I was with ex for three years. First time he sent me flowers was xmas after we split

Happy36 · 26/12/2014 21:34

I wouldn't read anything into it. Perhaps just a friendly, festive gesture, or maybe just to look "nice" in front of your mutual children.

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