Wondering if I have been unreasonable for not inviting my father to join us for Christmas dinner?
I have never had a great relationship with him, didn't see him for long periods of my childhood (his choice) so have never had a real father/daughter relationship.
As an adult, I find him irritating and a bit of a free-loader - he always turns up if there is free booze/food (my brother gets quite annoyed by this!). I don't spend much time with him.
Anyway, I have always tried to foster a good relationship between him & my kids, as I wanted them to have a loving Grandad, and to be honest he wasn't too bad with them. Until this last summer, when he wanted to take them out for the day, but did not inform me. He askedthe night before, we already had plans & he got all huffy. He then sent my DDs (age 13 and 14) really passive aggressive messages! I got very angry at him, as they really upset my daughters, and told him to never pull a stunt like that again. Haven't heard a word from him since, though my eldest DD has said she bumped into him in the shopping centre, and he ignored her :(
He usually spends Christmas with us, as we are his only family nearby who celebrate. He could spend the day with my sibling who lives an hour away, but they don't speak to him much either. This year however, I haven't contacted him & invited him. He sent a message through another family member to say he couldn't afford to buy any presents this year. My DH and eldest DD are not keen on having his company. Until today, I agreed with them. But now the guilt is setting in, him being all alone ...
Should I send a late invitation?
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AIBU?
Starting to feel guilty -HIBU?
23 replies
AttitcusFinchIsMyFather · 23/12/2014 15:58
OP posts:
hesterton ·
23/12/2014 16:01
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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