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AIBU?

To wonder what are the most [shock] family habits you've ever encountered?

440 replies

Sapph1e · 15/12/2014 23:24

Mine are: an ex years ago was one boy with two sisters and one night we got talking about what they called their genitalia when they were growing up. I was flabbergasted when he said "Oh, I had a 'cock' and my sisters had 'minges'" ShockShock

However that was not as bad as the family BBQ (same family) where we were all sitting around a table having a lovely lunch; me, ex-bf, his parents, sisters, sisters' boyfriends and then ex-MIL casually mentioned that she hadn't woken up till 9am that morning.
"That's not true," says ex-FIL promptly, "I heard you having a shit at 5." Shock Shock Shock Shock did not cover it.

OP posts:
Bulbasaur · 15/12/2014 23:43

I knew two sisters that sat on each other's laps and patted each others bums for affection. Nothing sexual, just a bit odd.

Jodie1982 · 15/12/2014 23:59

Sapph1e, I almost peed myself with laughter, it's the funniest thing I've read for a while. Grin

Sapph1e · 16/12/2014 02:24

It was awful. Just so awful!

OP posts:
AnotherGirlsParadise · 16/12/2014 04:57

An ex of mine had a sister who was - how can I put it? - slightly over-attached. She used to have crushes on pop stars who looked like him, and told him so. I think the worst incident was when they were on holiday as a family, a bloke innocently asked if they were a couple and she said YES. Fucking weird.

NobodyLivesHere · 16/12/2014 05:10

I had a boyfriend when I was about 16, boyracer, rugby playing lad type. After we'd been going out a few months he said his parents wanted to meet me. He was very reluctant and all he could say to explain this was 'they aren't like me'.
Intigued off I trotted to meet them. Pulled up in his ridiculous souped up car outside a very nice house, he called out 'Mamma, we're here'.....mamma? I think.....turns out having tea with people from the 50s. With cucumber sarnies and talk of polo. Me. In my arsenal skimming dress and enough eyeliner to keep green day going for a month.......that was bad enough then his 'papa' then asked me if I was a virgin. And If I was after their money. (No and no). Then they invited me to spend the night 'but you mustnt wake Sylvia if you intend to have sex'.

I declined and ran away.

RojaGato · 16/12/2014 05:15

Went out with a guy whose mum was an identical twin. His dad's brother was married to the other twin. I found this bit weird.

Walking down the street on holiday with DH, we say a family of four ahead of us. Mum, dad and two sons around 9 and 11. Older son was holding onto dad's right buttock in the same way you'd hold someone's hand going along the road. When pavement narrowed further down and they switched to two by two, he swapped hands and held onto mum's left buttock in similar fashion. Neither parent turned a hair. not just hand placed on lower back/top of buttock, and proper grip on buttock from beneath.

CheerfulYank · 16/12/2014 05:58

I can't think of any off hand but do keep them coming :o

KingJoffreysHasABigWhiteBeard · 16/12/2014 06:15

At my school we had two design techs who were brothers. They looked identical.

They had the same car. One had a white one and one had a blue one. Old fashioned type car with a very square arse and a wood trim - know the ones I mean?

I assume they lived together as they'd take it in turns to drive. One day in the white car and the next day in the blue car.

But they wouldn't both sit in the front. The passenger would sit in the back seat behind the driver. Every time. Weird.

Toadinthehole · 16/12/2014 06:32

Morris Traveller.

WipsGlitter · 16/12/2014 06:35

That's brilliant joffrey!

KingJoffreysHasABigWhiteBeard · 16/12/2014 06:37

Had to google Morris Traveller (know nothing about cars). Yes, that's the one.

Except they had two...

ILoveLenor · 16/12/2014 06:46

Grin I heard you having a shit at 5. That's just made my morning

ihatethecold · 16/12/2014 07:02
Grin
biggles50 · 16/12/2014 16:54

Once went out with a guy. First time in bed both hot and steamy he francically fumbled on the beside table for something. He kept looking at the thing he had picked up from the table as he er climaxed. It was a pic of his ex. Ouch.

SaucyJack · 16/12/2014 17:04

First and last time in bed I hope biggles!!

TooHasty · 16/12/2014 17:07

I used to know a family who would smack each others arses and anyone else's who happened to be in the house with a cry of 'it's give-it-a-thwack day!'

InanimateCarbonRod · 16/12/2014 17:11

Was invited to exbf house for dinner. They all sat down and started actually noming. Each mouthful was chewed with noms. Nom nom nom nom. They all did it. At first I thought they were joking but they just kept noming. It was like they were all climaxing through each mouthful. Fucking weirdos.

DuelingFanjo · 16/12/2014 17:13

We used to, as children, tell our parents we were 'going or a shit'. In some of the places we lived this meant going outside to use an outside commode in a barn (not joking) and we had it drummed into us that we weren't supposed to use the expression when our grandparents were visiting.

pictish · 16/12/2014 17:14

My dad makes a low rumbling growling sound when he eats. It's very fucking strange indeed.

Sapph1e · 16/12/2014 18:10

TooHasty - that's hysterical!! And horrendous.

Carbon - I quite seriously would have got up and left.

This same family used to call the covers of things the "durex". For example, if something was removed from a packet, someone would inevitably call out "Oh where's the durex?" That took some getting used to. The end of a baguette was known as 'the knob'. None of the family ever batted an eyelid. Mine were going ten to the dozen!

OP posts:
LadyMaryofDownton · 16/12/2014 18:17

My best friends Sister is in her late thirties & sits on her Dads knee ALL THE TIME. Even when they are out for dinner or at a party. If they are walking alone she holds his hand! It weirds me out so much. Xmas Confused

ILovePud · 16/12/2014 19:47

I was friends with a girl who's mum never used to close the toilet door, the same woman also had a monkey glove puppet and sometimes (with no real pattern to this behaviour) would put it on and address mundane questions to you in a high pitched 'monkey' voice. It wasn't even designed to make you laugh or put you at ease as once the monkey told me off. This probably doesn't sound that funny (weird maybe) but I'm pissing myself with laughter typing this, just hoping that someone else who knew her is on mumsnet and reads this.

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pandarific · 16/12/2014 19:59

I babysat for a woman who spoke AS THE DOG. A little high pitched 'Oooh mummy, mummy, I'm soo happy to see you oooh mummy can I have some water in my bowl' voice.

MORTIFIED.

KingJoffreysHasABigWhiteBeard · 16/12/2014 20:06

Sometimes I speak as one of my cats.

Not in front of people, though. When it's just the two of us. and I don't refer to myself as 'mummy'.

Xmas Blush

WannaBe · 16/12/2014 20:14

I knew someone whose dad left his mum for her sister, and they all stayed friends, eat at each other's houses every night and so on. And then this bloke's wife had an affair with his uncle - the brother of the dad, and then eventually left him for her own cousin. Hmm

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