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AIBU?

To store xmas presents in daughters room

80 replies

ghostspirit · 27/11/2014 15:23

my daughters bedroom is down stairs. its what should be the dinning room. every xmas i have the same argument and moaning from her. getting fed up because its simple stuff. xmas things get hid all round the house mainly her room and my room. if its a heavy item more likely her room as i cant get it up the stairs. my sons game table just came its got pics all over the box. so defo needs to be hidden. she put it behind her curtain in her room. where patio doors are. my son will see it there as uses the patio doors to go into garden (back door is broken and cant be opend) anyway she says there is no room under here bed. just had a look theres an empty bin, shoes and an empty suit case so im sure there can be made some room. I know its really petty and stupid but its doing my head in because its simple stuff. struggling to get nice things for the kids make is a nice surprise for them to see their faces on xmas day. and she dont give a toss if the stuff gets seen. because she does not want stuff in her room.

I was thinking about saying to her firmly they are going to be in there weather she likes it or not so she might as well just stop moaning. tell her if she dont like it she can have the box room then the 4 year old can have her room

OP posts:
VodkaValiumLattePlease · 27/11/2014 15:27

That's pretty petty on your behalf tbf.

And if you're going go give ultimatums at least have them make sense...

ghostspirit · 27/11/2014 15:31

yeah i know its petty. but then is it not selfish of her not to agree to hide xmas stuff in her room so her younger siblings have a surprise at xmas.

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TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 27/11/2014 15:32

Wrap them up now and stick them in a corner of the living room?

LadyLuck10 · 27/11/2014 15:34

Your dd is very selfish indeed. It's a tiny bit of consideration on her part to make sure her younger siblings are surprised on Xmas day.
Maybe she doesn't deserve the bigger room since she can't appreciate it. You would not be unreasonable to tell her so.

Purplepixiedust · 27/11/2014 15:34

Can you put them in the loft? That's what I do.

VodkaValiumLattePlease · 27/11/2014 15:35

Where are they going to go if you make them switch rooms? And wheres this gaming table going?

ghostspirit · 27/11/2014 15:37

i dont have the room. also cant really 100% trust the kids or dog

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Cabrinha · 27/11/2014 15:38

Why haven't you just done the first sentence that you wrote? Not the room swap, but telling her it's happening so quit moaning.
How old is she? Old enough to tell her if she doesn't like your rules to go pay rent and follow someone else's?
Tell her, she doesn't get to be that selfish.

trulybadlydeeply · 27/11/2014 15:41

It sounds like an awful lot of presents if you have to find hiding places all over the house Shock. I have presents for all four children in the bottom of my wardrobe.

Does your daughter resent her younger siblings? Does she get the same amount of presents? Maybe she would prefer a smaller room upstairs if it means her siblings won't be trailing through her room to go outside. If she is a teen or near, then her privacy is going to become increasingly important to her.

Cabrinha · 27/11/2014 15:42

The only slight sympathy I'm feeling is that it doesn't sound like she has much private space, if everyone goes through her room to the garden.
Families should muck in, and private space is a luxury. But I am slightly feeling sympathy for my imagined teen who has her room stuffed full of boxes for a month and small siblings traipsing through all the time.

If she's otherwise well behaved, I'd cut back on presents and get the door fixed, but expect her to stash the boxes.

ghostspirit · 27/11/2014 15:42

vodka. they would be in what is now her room. and the 4 year old would be in there. the 4 year old would not go under the bed or check on top of wardrobes etc. but the others would

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wheresthelight · 27/11/2014 15:43

yabu

it is her room and her own private space that she already has to surrender so others can use the patio doors into the garden.

put stuff in your own room if it bothers you or wrap it up and leave it in the family room and let your ds have her privacy

kinkyfuckery · 27/11/2014 15:45

She is being petty not allowing it to go under her bed, but she probably feels her space is being invaded - especially if her brother is regularly using her room as a passage to the garden!

HighwayDragon · 27/11/2014 15:48

What happens in the summer when people are in the garden? How about when you have friends over and have a bbq? Do you all have to go through her bedroom, because if that's the case and all she's moaned about is Christmas presents I have 2 points 1) your (I assume teenage) daughter is the most tolerant child ever and you're lucky she's so nice and 2) cut her some slack.

Cabrinha · 27/11/2014 15:48

So she has at least 3 siblings?
What's she normally like? Can you have a calm conversation about why she won't do it?
Just asking why, not shouting or telling her off.
Might open floodgates for any perceived unfairness - I'm from a large family, my niece is - we both have felt driven mad by several siblings, no space, and always (as eldest) being expected to put up with it!

ghostspirit · 27/11/2014 15:48

yeah i agree about her privacy but until the back door is fixed there is nothing i cant do. im not cutting back on presents to get the door fixed. its not my place to pay for it. landlord is meant to fix/pay for it.

cabbrinha yes i think i should have done that in first place. yeah it might be for a month but thats life im afraid. she 17 old enough to consider others. at a time thats ment to be exciting

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ghostspirit · 27/11/2014 15:52

Well the door situation is out of my control until the landlord fixes it. the kids are not really going in and out much its more to let the dog out. not been the weather for the garden. plus it gets darkl quite early. so as much as there might be a point about the patio doors theres nothing i can do about it

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Floggingmolly · 27/11/2014 15:57

How badly broken is the door that it can't be opened? Confused I can totally understand a 17 year old being pissed off at her room being turned into Piccadilly Circus.
Whether it's "your place" to pay for it or not, it needs to be sorted. Chase the landlord at least, fgs!

ghostspirit · 27/11/2014 16:01

i have chased the landlord to fix it. not getting far there are on going issues with the landlords. its broken as in off its hinges. its been put into the fame and in the locked position with a bit of wire looped though the other side. if it get unlocked it will fall.

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cherrybombxo · 27/11/2014 16:07

I think YAB pretty U. At 17 I would have been furious if I had people traipsing through my bedroom all the time and, on top of that, my mother demanding that I clear out my stuff to make room for giant presents for my brother. You're treating her like she's a small child but she's perfectly within her rights to say no.

Start chasing the landlord in earnest, phoning three times a day until your door is fixed.

ghostspirit · 27/11/2014 16:12

at 17 i think she should be able to consider her siblings and what xmas presents mean to them. same as she will want her surprises.

as i keep saying im on to the landlord its an on going issue that environmental health also know about it and are in contact with the landlord. im afraid in dont have a magic wound

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Artandco · 27/11/2014 16:12

If you haven't space to store a boxed games table, where an earth is it going to go when it's up and open?

Sorry but if there isn't adaquate space surely you need to buy less or smaller items?

Can you not replace back door hinges yourself? Just screw old ones off and replace, then send landlord hinge bill

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Patrickstarisabadbellend · 27/11/2014 16:13

Yabu.

trulybadlydeeply · 27/11/2014 16:15

So she's got the dog (and presumably you) going through her room last thing at night and first thing in the morning, at the very least, when it needs letting out for a wee?

The back door is clearly not secure at all, all these presents are at risk of being stolen. Please seek guidance on the landlord situation - you should at the very least be getting some sort of reduction in rent, try CAB or somewhere.

ghostspirit · 27/11/2014 16:17

artandco its a folding table and the boys have pace in their room once its all been opens ans set up as it can go behinde their wardrobe when folded.

no i cant replace the hinges its a big double glazed back door its to heavy for me to hold and it does not take standard hinges. according to landlord it cost 185 to fix

OP posts:
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