I really don't know if IABU or not here so I could really do with some other perspectives.
Long story short: I split up with H a little over a year ago. We agreed that he would have the DC twice a week for tea (in reality this is just an hour and I give them their meals) and EOW. I find him very difficult to deal with and every time he contacts me or sees me, will pass comment on the way I parent our DCs and the way I live my life. He is highly critical and hypocritical.
I basically do everything for the DCs. I do all school runs, activities, play dates (which have to fit around his visitations), wash, clean, cook etc. I pack their clothes for his visits and he returns them dirty for me to wash. He insists on me doing half the drop offs/pick ups for his visitations despite the fact that he has an all expenses paid company car and earns a lot more than me.
Despite all this, I don't mind doing it all until he whines about how unfair he has it () and when he is being downright nasty to me and the DC.
So to the problem: I've been trying to get DC1 into an activity for the last two years. A space has become available but it happens to fall on one of his weekday visitations.
He is basically demanding I swap days so she can still go or that I don't send her at all. He is insisting that I be the bearer of this news but has actually already told DC1 this. She really wants to do the activity and is naturally upset at what her DF has said and is putting pressure on me to swap days.
However, I really don't want to. I have a routine already set up where I do things for the hour he has them and it will disrupt this for me. Also, I kind of feel like he should just suck it up because I take them to all their activities on 'my' days and actually get relatively little quality time with them after doing everything else (washing, cooking etc). Additionally, I don't want to bow to his demands because he makes them all the time (control issues) and he's so nasty, I don't think he deserves it.
Having said that, AIBU to not go along with his request? WWYD?
Please or to access all these features
Please
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AIBU?
By refusing to be flexible over X's visitation with the DC?
71 replies
TrappedInThePast01 · 26/11/2014 17:12
OP posts:
needaholidaynow ·
26/11/2014 17:44
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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