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AIBU?

to ditch the pilates guy?

26 replies

moxon · 26/11/2014 10:46

Have had three really nice sessions with the new pilates guy who seems to know his stuff, and has a scientific approach, which I like. Then yesterday he said that his DSis's son got severe autism after being given antibiotics, and we shouldn't ever trust man-made medicines. Now this sort of crap just pisses me right off and I will obviously have to say something next time. So: ditch him now before it gets worse and find another class? Or try to ignore and just enjoy the style of teaching?

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1hamwich4 · 26/11/2014 10:55

Is this a group class?

Cos whilst I agree with you on the spouting of bollocks, I'm not sure disrupting a session others have paid for to go off on a tangent is going to be that welcome.

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ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks · 26/11/2014 11:03

Did he say it during class or as a private conversation afterwards?

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Nancy66 · 26/11/2014 11:06

if he's good and helping you I would stick with it.

Next time he says anything like that just say: 'I don't share your view so it's best we don't discuss this.'

That's my standard line to taxi drivers if they start going on about 'all the immigrants coming here '

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moxon · 26/11/2014 11:07

Fair point 1ham. Small group - 3 of us. He said it during class while we were having a stretching break. One woman said she was struggling to sleep because her DC was ill, but gp prescribed antibiotics and so hopefully it will improve. Which prompted him to say the above.

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moxon · 26/11/2014 11:09

Nancy but what if the others believe him? Civil society responsibilities and all that.

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Nancy66 · 26/11/2014 11:13

they'd have to be pretty dim to believe him. And if they do then they're probably already the type who think kale can cure malaria

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1hamwich4 · 26/11/2014 11:16

Hmm in that case I think I would comment fairly definitely that it's dangerous bollocks but that this isn't the time to get into a discussion about it. Making clear that you're happy to discuss it after class if anyone wants to.

I doubt he'll take you up on the offer- tree-hugging hippy types seem happy to spout nonsense but not to have to defend it, IME- but the other woman might.

I had a similar experience in a breastfeeding group when someone started going on about vaccinations. I expressed surprise fairly clearly without making a fuss, and then the facilitator shut it down almost instantly.

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TheAlias · 26/11/2014 11:17

I agree with you but if he's good at his job and giving you what you need I'd stick with it. I think if we never have anything to do with people who's opinions we don't entirely agree with, we'd all have pretty lonely lives. Or is that just me?

I might be forced to tell the woman with the sick child that he was talking rubbish and that she as doing the right thing for her child though.

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TheCraicDealer · 26/11/2014 11:19

Is he a one man band or is he part of a larger pilates / physiotherapy surgery? My pilates class is held at a physiotherapist’s and so if there was something of this nature said during a class I would have no hesitation in complaining to management. Good only knows how embarrassed that woman must have felt, basically being told by the instructor in front of the class that she was dicing with her child’s health.

He should stick to what he knows.

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VenusRising · 26/11/2014 11:19

I don't think that people listen to Pilates teachers.... They're there to help you strengthen your core muscles. Most people appreciate that- no need to go nuclear on his ass with civil society responsibilities, whatever they are!!

TBH You sound a bit odd stressed, do you really think you're some kind of "Protector of Truth", and that people are so easily swayed by some bloke in Lycra??? Are you swayed easily? Is everything black and white to you?

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Greyhound · 26/11/2014 11:20

I had similar with a chiropractor who advised me to come off my antidepressants and mood stabilisers (I have bipolar) and take a herbal remedy instead. I didn't go back.

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TheCraicDealer · 26/11/2014 11:27

While I get your position TheAlias, this boy is taking an opinion and presenting it as fact before giving unsolicited advice (“shouldn't ever trust man-made medicines”) based on it. That is incredibly unprofessional. There’s nothing ‘odd’ about feeling strongly about that.

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moxon · 26/11/2014 11:31

One-man band but was recommended by physio. I might stay and hope the topic- or something similar- doesn't pop up again.
Venus - I sound odd for feeling irritated that some people spout rubbish about medicine? Gosh. I'll get myself looked at pronto. Hmm

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Riverland · 26/11/2014 11:32

It's not remotely unprofessional for a Pilates teacher to chat and share their opinions.

He's not a medical professional withholding a prescription.

He's giving good Pilates. That's his job. And he's allowed to talk.

If you are unable to respond authentically, to say " ooh, no! I disagree!"that's your problem, not his. If you'd leave a good Pilates teacher because you disagree with his ideas.. I'm lost for words at how touchy and controlling that seems, to me.

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Haggismcbaggis · 26/11/2014 11:44

I really don't see how your pilates teachers daft views on antibiotics impact his ability to teach you strengthening exercises. He is entitled to his completely deluded views.

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whois · 26/11/2014 11:50

You shouldn't ever trust man made medicines?

May I refer you to ‘Storm’ by Tim Minchin?

"Pharmaceutical companies are the enemy
They promote drug dependency at the cost of the natural remedies that are all our bodies need
They are immoral and driven by greed.
Why take drugs when herbs can solve it?
Why use chemicals when homeopathic solvents can resolve it?
I think it's time we all return-to-live with natural medical alternatives. "

And try as I like, a small crack appears in my diplomacy-dike.
"By definition", I begin,
"Alternative Medicine", I continue,
"Has either not been proved to work, or been proved not to work.
Do you know what they call 'alternative medicine' that's been proved to work?
Medicine. "

"So you don't believe in any natural remedies?"

"On the contrary Storm, actually
Before I came to tea, I took a remedy derived from the bark of a willow tree
A painkiller that's virtually side-effect free
It's got a weird name, Darling, what was it again?
M-masprin? Basprin? Oh yeah! Asprin!
Which I paid about a buck for down at the local drugstore.

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TheCraicDealer · 26/11/2014 12:07

He’s allowed to have whatever unfounded opinion he wants, but it’s not ok to present it to clients in that manner. Especially when you’re insinuating that one of your clients is risking her child developing autism simply by giving them a course of antibiotics Hmm He then compounded the issue by giving "advice" on the use of man-made medicines as a whole.

If he had said, “I don’t take antibiotics, I prefer to use natural remedies”, left it at that and allowed his clients to take what they wanted from that statement, I’d agree. But he didn’t.

His views have no impact on his ability to strengthen OP’s core, but he has an inability to see how comments like that might make at least one of his clients feel like shit. In that type of role it’s as much about engaging with a client and being positive about progress, etc. as much as the actual instruction, so I wouldn’t be sticking with him.

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moxon · 26/11/2014 12:39

Those were my thoughts, thecraic.

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Riverland · 26/11/2014 12:43

Can I suggest that you tell him why you will be giving him the sack as your Pilates instructor? Seriously. It will be useful feedback to him that genuinely some people are unable to have an honest conversation and can't tolerate alternative ideas being presented by someone that activates their authority complexes.

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WhereIsMyHat · 26/11/2014 12:52

If you're enjoying the classes and you're seeing a benefit then just let it go. Lots of people will have very differing opinions on lots of things from you, that's life. While I don't agree with his point I can understand how someone could think along those lines, it's really not that outrageous.

I went to yoga last week and the teacher was spouting off about how turquoise was the best colour ever and will improve my life. I still haven't painted my house and kids yet but I might if they annoy me.

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moxon · 26/11/2014 13:02

I went to yoga last week and the teacher was spouting off about how turquoise was the best colour ever and will improve my life. I still haven't painted my house and kids yet but I might if they annoy me. Grin
riverland I think you're overstating the obvious and giving me way too much credit. There are alternative views and bad advice. So, whilst I know it is rubbish, I actually do read my horoscope when I happen to find myself in the gp surgery waiting for my appointment. 'Ah yes,' I will mutter, 'how true. My week has been crap and maybe I should consider a new haircut.' However, I am not about to go tell my friend/DM/vague acquaintance that their cancer was their own fault because Virgo's cannot tolerate red meats as it poisons the liver. Or that they should quit their job today because Mars is triangulated with Neptune in the 4th house.

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1hamwich4 · 26/11/2014 13:21

I have to say, Riverland that it doesn't sound like the OP has an inability to have an honest conversation.

More that they have a sensitivity filter for when certain topics may or may not be appropriate, and enough self-awareness to wonder whether it's calibrated correctly.

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simontowers2 · 26/11/2014 13:54

If he were a doctor giving this advice, big deal. But he is not is he, he's a pilates teacher, talking shite. Which you know OP. You also know his daft opinions dont impact in his pilates teaching. So why the big deal?

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Riverland · 26/11/2014 17:07

Good! Excellent. The OP has the ability to have an honest conversation and realises astrologers in newspapers are talking twaddle for money.What a relief.

Why can't OP just say 'I disagree!' To her Pilates teacher, then, and state a viewpoint to his face in real time instead of keeping silent to his face and posting about him later on MN?!

Projecting way too much authority, imo. I think you should tell him how much power you think his opinion carries, and to ask him to provide research backing up his opinions, because he's not just your average misguided bear he's a -wait for it - pilates teacher.

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TheChandler · 27/11/2014 09:37

If he irritates you, ditch him. If you can bear him, give him another chance but repeated instances of woo-y-ness would justify ditching.

My personal bugbear is Celtic-wooism. Its usually promoted by people who are not in least Celtic but labour under a belief that they somehow have a "connection" to some mythical Scottish or Irish land that never really existed but involved strange chanting and painting swirly things on the backs of your hand, usually representing their romantic soul, or whatever. If however they are a Gaelic speaking actual shaman then I reserve my judgment, but in a born and bred Londoner living in Clapham, its cringeworthy.

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