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AIBU?

To murder my husband because he is fucking snoring

108 replies

Hurricaneinateacup · 25/11/2014 00:07

I'm not am I?
I can't sleep and to rub it in he's next to me snoring the loudest smuggest snores anyone's every snored.

I'm going to have to kill him.

OP posts:
crje · 25/11/2014 00:10

I'll give you an alibi

I live with a snorer too

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 25/11/2014 00:12

No jury would convict you.

Hurricaneinateacup · 25/11/2014 00:13

I've bought him some special snoring plaster things but he won't wear them. Apparently they make his nose sore.
I'm tempted to stick them all over him in his sleep.
Oh god. It can't be normal to want to kill someone this much. It's like he waits for me to nod off by lulling me into a false sense of security with tiny grunts and then does the most enormous snort ever. Thus making me jump and making sleep impossible.

OP posts:
Discopanda · 25/11/2014 00:13

Pick up your pillow and press it firmly over his face until the snoring stops, fail-proof cure

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 25/11/2014 00:13

Oh god I feel your pain.

Do it, I'll vouch for your insanity in court Grin

The reason I'm still up is that DH is snoring violently next door, if I go and try to lie down I will want to murder him with my hairbrush.

topsyturner · 25/11/2014 00:14

I'm downstairs eating mini cheddars and I can her my not so DH upstairs snoring .

We should do some kind of Strangers On A Train murder swap ?

Hurricaneinateacup · 25/11/2014 00:15

It's the obvious solution disco
I've kicked him a few times to no avail.

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 25/11/2014 00:15

Hurriance those do work, a bit.

I have taken to thumping DH when he snores, each and every time. It sort of works.

Hurricaneinateacup · 25/11/2014 00:16

IT'S SO LOUD. HOW IS HE NOT WAKING HIMSELF UP?!?!

OP posts:
Hurricaneinateacup · 25/11/2014 00:17

We need to form a support group. Or all act as each other's alibi.

OP posts:
Charitybelle · 25/11/2014 00:18

Grin I'm lying next to my snoring DH right now. I'm up breastfeeding DS and will be a few more times over the course of the night. Not a lot more irritating than someone snoring away happily whilst you're awake!

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 25/11/2014 00:20

Our three year old did an impression of DH earlier 'Daddy this is how you sound when you are sleeping' etc etc

It was very funny, and earsplittingly loud.

DH 'oh haha DS2 I'm not that loud'

Me 'erm'

DH (quietly under his breath) 'fuck me, sorry'

Grin

AWholeLottaNosy · 25/11/2014 00:24

WAX EARPLUGS! It's the only way...

Hurricaneinateacup · 25/11/2014 00:26

At least in prison I might get a better night's sleep.

OP posts:
Thebodynowchillingsothere · 25/11/2014 00:28

Kick him onto his side? Bastard!

ModreB · 25/11/2014 00:38

YANBU. Dh has the loudest snores ever, he wakes up the DC's in the next room. It's like sleeping in a zoo.

Whistle, squee, snore, chomp. Whistle, squee, snore, grunt." Repeat all night.

Earplugs don't work against the sub-sonic sounds. Tried it and failed.

LegoCaltrops · 25/11/2014 00:40

My dad used to do this, intolerable. It was actually just audible from outside the house, with windows closed. I have no idea how my mum didn't kill him. My DH is a relatively light snorer - he does sound like an angry rhino, but one swift kick gentle nudge & he generally turns over.

wobblyweebles · 25/11/2014 00:42

I used to record him snoring, then play it into his ear.

Now I send him to sleep downstairs. In the basement.

hotfuzzra · 25/11/2014 00:53

Me too! I wear earplugs and can only sometimes hear him.
Often he rolls onto his back and starts hissing, he has woken himself up hissing so thankfully believes me when I tell him.
Does he take kindly to a nudge groin kick ?

unitarian · 25/11/2014 00:58

I'm about to migrate to the spare room. I can't stand it any more.

He won't wear the nose plasters. I've tried the ear plugs. The worst, most excruciating one is when he stops breathing to the point where I panic and then lets out an enormous snort.
He complains that I come to bed late or read late but that's because I can't face lying there trying to sleep with all that racket going on.

badgerknowsbest · 25/11/2014 01:00

My dp's charming and eloquent reason for his snoring? "My balls cover my arsehole and it makes an air lock" Hmm

I do however find petty revenge on said selfish snoring person when I can't sleep cheers me right up - I drew little red dots all over his face the other night when he snored on the sofa Grin

Nelehwelly · 25/11/2014 01:14

YAVVVVDNBU.

I am married to a snorer. I can hear him even I'm downstairs and he's in the back bedroom. Nothing works, and I can't wear earplugs cos they hurt after a few nights, and I want to be able to hear the children if they wake up (he'd sleep through an air-raid, so no chance of him waking up). It's hell.

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Whatsonemore · 25/11/2014 01:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WotchOotErAPolis · 25/11/2014 07:29

I can be downstairs listening to my sons during their music lessons (electric guitar, drums, singing) & still hear him snoring! And that's during the day when he's sitting on the sofa in the kitchen - awake (yes really!).

My family, when they stay here, can't believe how much our house vibrates when he's snoring! However, I'm not much use as I do sleep right through - the trick is to be completely asleep by the time he comes to bed. The trouble is when I get up in the night and then have to go back to sleep while he's snoring.

He did go through a phase of stopping breathing though - sleep apnea - and I would wake up when he stopped snoring (odd). If he is stopping breathing, please see a Dr as it can be harmful for him.

Pixa · 25/11/2014 07:33

I have a snoring DH, he tends to only snore when he is laid on his back. At the minute I just nicely ask him to move over but we will see if I am still doing that after ten years of marriage. Grin

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