To give a bit of background and trying not to drip feed. My OH when we got together made it clear he had a son, this son would come first before anything, he had an arrangement with his EX for maintance and this would come first. When we were in dire straights with money, it went maintaince, rent, food, other and TBH I agreed with this and still do.
We now have a son of our own. I cannot pin point when the problems started . We had problems with SS not wanting to spend time as a family (me, OH and both kids) so we made sure that they had at the least four hours minimum together doing Daddy/Son stuff. Then SS wanted family time, so we changed stuff, and every so often he wanted to change it back, I am not sure if we have done the right thing doing this, but at this point, we as a family were together once every two weeks and then OH would take him out after nursery about 2-3 times a week. When school started, this all stopped and by his ex's decision started to decrease. We are now nearly a year down the line and contact has gone from 3-4 times a week to once a fornight. This has happened so gradually it is ridiculas. Contact between my OH and his ex is basically nothing.
We have reached the point this week, when it is half term and my OH wanted to see his son, and a few weeks ago asked (face to face) his ex what days would be best, she said she would get back to him on it. I kid you not he texted and called between then and last week at least once a day to try and get an answer. Nothing.
He called at the beggining of this week to say he had Tuesday and Friday off and would those be a good time, nothing again. Once again he texted and called once a day to get an answer.
Thursday evening we get a text saying you can pick him up tomorrow. This is just one occassion where my OH had struggled to try and get more contact than once a fornight.
The thing that pisses me right off, is she has remarried and her new husband is also called Daddy, now of course SS spends more time with her new husband than with his real dad, but this is not my OH's fault he has done everything but take her to court.
But if nothing else, we could make plans, like today, We were going to meet my Dad for a halloween tea, now OH can't come because his ex doesn't want SS meeting my family because it will confuse him (SS is 6) I am getting so fed up at changing plans/ cancelling them because of his ex.
The worse thing is, is my son loves seeing his big brother and I am now point blank refusing to say when he is seeing him again because it doesn't happen.
I hope that makes sense to people
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
Well am I?
8 replies
NCbutIstillmightbeouted · 31/10/2014 06:30
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.