Backstory as to not dripfeed. Dh and I have been married 14 years. Have a tolerable relationship with my inlaws. I have for the sake of dh's feelings put up with a lot from them over the years. My MIL is an alcoholic and family either walk on eggshells around her or bend over backwards to try to make her happy. My parents have been deceased for years.
Most years they will not call dc on their birthday, but when we see them once a year, will give gifts months in advance so dc has a gift on their birthday, which is nice. They do the same thing for dh and I. Rarely will they remember to call dh on his birthday and they Never call me on mine, nor send a card (no card for dh or ds either).
Dh is bad at remembering birthdays. I think my MIL holds it against him that before me met me, they never got a call, gift or card from him either. Over the years he's gotten better with me and doesn't need to be reminded. I don't want much, only to be remembered. I think my MIL deliberately doesn't call, or send a card as a way to 'get back' at my dh for all the years he didn't remember. Even now, when I send something, they know I sent it and I know my MIL wants DH to do it.
Every year on all holidays I send something, have dh sign it, send a card, and remind dh to call them. I shouldn't have to...but I try to be a good DIL and at least make the effort. This year I'm tired of making the effort. Another birthday has gone by (mine) and no call or card from them. After 14 years I'm sick of making the effort with them. I'd continue to send something and a card, but AIBU to stop reminding dh to call (we all talk on these calls). It is especially hurtful when they don't call or send dc a card. Can I just not remind dh anymore? I've done it to keep the peace, but I'm sick of them especially not reciprocating with dc and I'd like permission to just stop reminding dh. He has issues with them stemming from childhood (he was neglected time wise) and I think this is why he never remembers them. Sorry so long.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
To feel it's outdated thinking that as the wife I must remember birthdays
45 replies
Darkandstormynight · 25/10/2014 02:10
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.