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AIBU?

To think that DH is being an arse?

92 replies

cooki3monst3r · 23/10/2014 23:37

Hi

I'd like to ask you all how many clothes your young DCs have, how often you do the washing and how big your dirty washing pile is!

DH just did his usual bloody moan, grumble and downright slagging off when I tried to show him DS new clothes (7 t-shirts & 2 jumpers) this evening.

Apparently a 2 yo should not have as many clothes as DS has, and if I did the washing more frequently we wouldn't have a huge pile of dirty clothes on the landing, and I would need to spend so much money on DCs clothes! Angry

Now, bearing in mind the DCs have their child allowance go in to a savings account which is used only for them, and their clothes and shoes (and sometimes activities like dance / swimming classes) are all bought with that money only, DHs reaction EVERY time I buy the DCs some bloody clothes is really beginning to piss me off!

FYI, my DS 2yo has 10 pairs of trousers and 10 t-shirts, 2 sweaters, 4 jumpers, sister's old coat.

Does my DS really have too many clothes? I honestly don't know how I'd manage to keep him in clean clothes with less than this!

OP posts:
ElephantsNeverForgive · 23/10/2014 23:40

Stop showing your DH any new clothes, he won't notice if what DS is wearing is new, old, clean, dirty or does or doesn't fit.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 23/10/2014 23:41

Nah, DD has loads of clothes. I wear clean clothes pretty much every day, nature of the job, so have an extensive washing pile.

ExDP used to moan about it too. Now most of the bastard clothes I bought her are at his Hmm

quirkycutekitch · 23/10/2014 23:42

My son has well over double this - he has too many clothes Grin

cooki3monst3r · 23/10/2014 23:42

Well, yes Elephants that is certainly the plan. I guess DHs just aren't as interested in this stuff!!

I was more hoping to check with other mums how many clothes their DCs have. DH thinks I'm "out of touch with reality"! Hmm

OP posts:
redredread · 23/10/2014 23:43

Maybe DH should do some more laundry...

scurryfunge · 23/10/2014 23:44

I don't think it's excessive for a two year old. A capsule wardrobe for a two year old is unrealistic bearing in mind the spills and gunk they generate on a daily basis.

GrouchyKiwi · 23/10/2014 23:47

I think that's reasonable. Toddlers are messy. Especially when potty training.

Thisghosttrainisreversing · 23/10/2014 23:49

I think 10 pairs of trousers and 10 tshirts is excessive but if you can afford it then why not?

Your DH can always stick a load of washing on if he's bothered by the pile.

cooki3monst3r · 23/10/2014 23:53

Do you have a little one Thisghost? How many clothes do they have / how often are you washing?

I feel like I'm constantly bloody washing in this house. But 2 loads a day, a few times a week, is about all I can manage to get done. It's even worse at this time of year because I can't hang them out and we've only got a small house.

OP posts:
GingerCuddleMonster · 23/10/2014 23:53

I'm with red why is the laundry pile up to you to clear and you only?!

pretty sure a grown man can do a load or two?

me and dp share the laundry, if there looks to be a load in the washing basket when you've added your clothes just pop the lot in the wash. I did however invest in colour catcher sheets I was fed up of dirty grey knickers or pinky green ones!!

iwishiwasacat · 23/10/2014 23:57

I don't think that sounds like a lot of clothes, seems reasonable to me.

I very rarely manage to finish all the washing, we always seem to have a flexi tub full waiting to be washed. Confused It's never ending in this house!

cooki3monst3r · 24/10/2014 00:01

With regards to washing, we have an arrangement where by he cleans his own stuff and I clean mine and the DCs. This is because a) he shrinks my clothes, b) he says I shrink his, c) I'm not his washer woman and d) I am a stay at home mum!

To be fair, he will do the washing sometimes. Although this does normally involve getting through half a dozen loads in a day, which then produces a back log of wet clothes with nowhere to dry them. Then he feels vindicated for emptying the washing basket. Great.

OP posts:
OneSkinnyChip · 24/10/2014 00:06

It sounds like a lot to me but as someone else said, if you can afford it why not? I don't spend much on clothes for DD but then I also don't change her every time she splashes herself with something unless we're going out. I know some people feel that they have to change their kids if they have any mess on them but it doesn't bother me so I think that's why we seem to need fewer clothes.

Sabrinnnnnnnna · 24/10/2014 00:12

My washing pile is mountainous. We have too many clothes. I have no excuse - I need to de-clutter.

What you have written doesn't sound U.

BreadForBrains · 24/10/2014 00:47

Your dh sounds like a rude arse.
Generally I do all our washing as I'm a sahm, but dp knows how to do it.
I'd never bother showing dp new clothes id bought the dc, but he does notice if he sees them in new things. He'd never complain about me spending money on them.
Our dc have far more clothes than you have listed (not a brag, and would be a bloody odd one if it was!!) as I like buying them all clothes. I do 2 loads a day for 6 days a week. (We pretty much wear 2 sets a day, have various sports gear, towels and bedding etc).
I Also don't bother changing ds when he gets dirty, he's a kid - that's what they do!
I'd be pissed off with your dh moaning, but wouldn't expect my own dp to be interested in new clothes, even for his dc!

ChillingGrinBloodLover · 24/10/2014 00:59

It sounds like quite a lot of trousers for a 2 year old, but pretty normal on the tops side of things.

Why do you have a pile of laundry on the landing, this would really annoy me, and possibly isn't helping the situation with your DH, why not get a laundry hamper/box?

Is your DH an arse about a lot of things? Is this about money or material posessions or clothes that the DC grow out of quickly?

Without knowing ^^ it's hard to say.

Is he worried about being the only wage earner? Are you struggling to pay the bills?

Thisghosttrainisreversing · 24/10/2014 01:10

My two are 9 and 13 now but they've never had that many clothes, even as toddlers. I was at home during the day with them as I worked evenings so I found it easy to just chuck the washing on if they soiled their trousers. They probably had about 3/4 pairs of trousers and 5/6 tshirts/tops.

My washing doesn't pile up much because we all have very few clothes. I do think too many clothes to wear in the wardrobe makes it easier to ignore the washing. We each only own about 4 outfits so if I don't wash regularly we'd have nothing to wear Smile

CrohnicallyAnxious · 24/10/2014 03:27

3/4 pairs of trousers?! I don't change DD every time she gets a bit messy, only if she gets soaking wet for some reason because it's not nice being in wet clothes. But over winter washing takes me 2 days to dry. DD needs clean trousers every day as they're almost always too messy to wear again. So even with 4 pairs of trousers, that's only 1 nappy leak/spilled drink/fall in muddy puddle away from having nothing clean and dry to wear. In fact, the time DD had rotavirus I think we were going through 4 pairs of trousers in a DAY!

Now I'm worried DD has too many clothes though... 2 pairs of proper trousers, 3 pairs of jeans, 4 pairs of leggings, about 6 long sleeved t shirts, 3 jumpers, 7 cardigans, plus various dresses, short sleeve t shirts, skirts, shorts, tights, 3/4 length leggings...

MokunMokun · 24/10/2014 03:44

I have about 5 of everything plus a coat, hoodie and fleece each. 2/3 pairs of pyjamas each. I'm a sahm though and do washing every day. I have 4 kids so clothes are expensive. I never show DH the clothes I bought as he would also wouldn't get it or be interested really.

mathanxiety · 24/10/2014 03:46

Your DS doesn't have too many clothes. Toddlers are very messy. Food gets everywhere. They spill drinks. They fall over and scramble onto things. They get clay, paint, markers, mud and grass on themselves.

What you really do need though is a tumble dryer. If you had one you would be able to get your washing done, dried and put away all in one day.

Ignore naysayers who think it is your job to save the universe by martyring yourself to the clothesline. Find somewhere in your house to squeeze one in. You won't know yourself, and you may find you can get rid of some clothes.

thewrongmans · 24/10/2014 03:52

What is child allowance? Is it money you set aside or is it child benefit? Either way, why wouldn't you save that money for their future rather than 10 different outfits for now? I think I agree with your husband on this one.

mathanxiety · 24/10/2014 03:53

Thinking back to what mine had when they were toddlers --
DS had less than 10 pairs of trousers. Maybe four - one pair of jeans and three sweatpants. However, he had at least six pairs of shorts as we have reliable summer weather here.

He had two or three sweatshirts/long sleeved Ts, and probably five or six T-shirts.

The 4 DDs had similar clothes in the trousers/shorts/sweatshirt/long sleeved T/Tshirt line plus some skirts and dresses, both winter and summer styles.

I bought very little new. If something was new it came from a clearance sale.

I did one load a day and put my dryer to great use. Everything got put away every day.

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Jenny70 · 24/10/2014 05:23

I think 10x tops and bottoms is slightly on the higher side - assuming some toilet/nappy accidents, severe soakings etc that is that is presumably a weeks worth of clothing? I think we aim for about 5xbottoms (occasionally with a one or two more slightly too small ones hanging about for emergencies/not thrown out yet) , and few more tops as some are short/long sleeve etc.

But regardless of what number you have, the attitude from your DH in unacceptable. If 10 pairs means you don't stress, run out, have to be a slave to the washing machine, then he should accept that or man up and wash/fold things himself.

As long as the clothes fit in drawers when all clean etc, and household finances allow, why the big deal over an extra 2-3 pairs of trousers/tshirts? How many trousers/jeans/casual pants/track pants does your DH have - and I can bet he is a lot cleaner than a toddler on most occasions!

maras2 · 24/10/2014 05:24

You know what? When you're arguing and getting upset about such trivia perhaps step back and try to see what is actually wrong with your relationship.It surely ain't the clothes/kids ratio is it? Confused

Jengnr · 24/10/2014 05:29

My 22month old has gazillions of clothes. Your husband would hate it here.

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