To move my DS to a different school mid November?

[quirkycutekitch]

DS is 3.5 in nursery school. Me & exp split in March & I've been waiting for my parents to have work done on their house for me & DS to move in with them - looks like this can all go ahead mid nov.

DS had a letter from school re the school play & talking about it with exp I said he will not be in that school in December.

Well ex didn't like that - he said he should be there until the end of term & started to talk about his rights as his father to have a say in where he goes to school.

I said he's have school play etc in his new school & he's got to move at some time.

So aibu?

[ClapHandsIfYouBelieveInFatties]

Well is the place at the new school been offered in writing to you? If it has, you will have to take it as soon as a place comes up. I don't think it's a problem to start before Christmas...he's only 3! It's not proper school is it! It's pre school...so part time?

[ClapHandsIfYouBelieveInFatties]

Oh...and if your son lives with you most of the time...YOU get the final say.x

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Yanbu. If it's you taking and collecting then of course move him do you can actually do so.

It's pre school. Kids come and go all the time.

[ClapHandsIfYouBelieveInFatties]

Start bigging up the new place to DS and take him for a visit before he begins.x

[WooWooOwl]

Are you moving far away from your ds's Dad, or is it just a change of local nurseries?

[quirkycutekitch]

Yes there is a place for him - they told me in September to ring them when I know his starting date.

I work part time so it'll be me taking him 2 days a week & members of my family the other days.

In Wales so it is proper school, full time.

DS is excited to go as older children in my family go there.

[ClapHandsIfYouBelieveInFatties]

Well it's not "Proper school". He's 3...so it's pre-school...not formal and he doesn't have to attend yet. But I know what you mean.

Just carry on regardless of your ex. He's not the one who has to deliver him and he's not the one who is moving with him. Your DS will settle in very quickly.x

[Heyho111]

I agree that it's fine to move middle of term. But I also feel it must be hard for a lot if dads loosing the everyday time and shared decision making for their kids. I can understand his reaction - whether you agree with it or not.

[MorelliOrRanger]

I was going to say you ABU to move him midterm

but

he's in pre school or nursery so of course YANBU.

[ClapHandsIfYouBelieveInFatties]

My friend moved midterm and her DD was fine...she was ten too! It's ok. Lots of children don't have a choice and most good schools help them fit in. Sometimes there's no choice because places come up and must be taken.

[skylark2]

I don't see why it's an issue whether it's the middle of a term or not. This isn't the US where you have to pass each semester. In fact it may very well be better for him as the teacher will have more time to help him settle instead of having to deal with multiple other tinies who have just had a couple of weeks away from school and are unsettled.

I don't think midterm or not ever matters. Not moving mid GCSE course matters, but that's about it.

[quirkycutekitch]

Well exp is refusing for him to move schools now & is saying that if the new school has enrolled him against his wishes it's illegal!

[cestlavielife]

he has the right to be consulted about where ds goes to school.
he would need good and clear objections to the change of school.
let him take it to court and give clear objections to the new school.

[ClapHandsIfYouBelieveInFatties]

He's wrong OP. Just forge ahead. Don't discuss it with him until it's all done and dusted. He has no rights over it and is being obstructive. He COULD take you to court but do you really think he would? He'd get laughed at by the sound of it.

It's not far from his home is it? Your exes I mean.

[GreenPetal94]

it's fine

from the title I thought you meant secondary school

[Icimoi]

Does he have official parental responsibility? Otherwise it's solely your decision.

Would it even be practical for him to stay at the current school if you're moving? Maybe you could try saying to ex p that you would be happy for him to stay provided that he (ex p) takes over responsibility for collecting ds from home and taking him to nursery, and bringing him back at the end of the day.