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AIBU?

To report her and risk wrecking her career without 100% proof?

93 replies

FoamingAtOnesMouth · 23/10/2014 12:42

Don't want to give too many details away so bits of info have been changed but the story remains the same. Basically I am a mentor for a student who is currently on placement with me. She's 34 years old, married with kids. All normal.
First couple of weeks were fine, no probs but then odd stuff started happening in our place if work that had never happened before. Starting with a sign appearing in the female toilets saying "please flush the bog after use". Everyone was questioning it because the wording was obviously not normal but the sign had been printed and laminated so looked as official as pos really. Nobody owned up to it. A week later the sign was taken down and a new one appeared reading something along the lines of "flush the big and get rid of any shit stains. Thank you". Again nobody admitted to it and the person in charge made a big deal of it saying whoever was doing it was risking disciplinary action. At this point my student kept asking questions about it and seemed to find it hilarious and was trying to figure out if anyone else found it funny. Other odd 'happenings' include a full loaf of bread being ripped apart and left stuffed in its bag and what we assumed to be food colouring in a bottle of milk in staff room. None of this shit happened before she got here but I felt bad blaming her because she actually seems as normal and nice as possible!
Latest incident was yesterday and was basically her laughing her head off quite hysterically because someone slipped. Obviously I've spoken to her but she remains as calm and collected as ever and shows the same confusion as everyone else but I just know it's her but can't explain why. All our magazines in the staff room get defaced with daft drawings etc too and in a conversion with another colleague she told then that people eating marmalade on toast makes her so angry she feels like shoving it down their throat. She laughed it off but it's still an odd thing to say no??

OP posts:
UsedtobeFeckless · 23/10/2014 12:47

Maybe a little camera somewhere out of the way? We had a team on the gate at events where I work who we all suspected were pocketing part of the take but didn't want to accuse without actual proof so a teeny tiny camera was stuck in the corner of their hut and Bingo ...

How long have you got her for?

FryOneFatManic · 23/10/2014 12:51

I agree a little camera might work. Has she got any leave booked? If things don't happen when she's not around, then you can be a bit more certain.

FoamingAtOnesMouth · 23/10/2014 12:51

5 more weeks. In our place if work we have to be dead careful about privacy and confidentiality so although a camera has been discussed we're worried about implications. Plus we can't put one in the toilet which is where a lot if weird stuff keeps happening.

OP posts:
Mrsstarlord · 23/10/2014 12:54

Have a look at the areas you are assessing her on and see if there is anything you can link this odd behaviour to. You can't fail her on the hearsay stuff as you don't sound like you have proof but sounds like there are some clear professionalism issues, also ask colleagues to document and you document in her notes what your concerns are but keep it factual.

FoamingAtOnesMouth · 23/10/2014 12:55

It doesn't happen when she's not there but we have a huge diverse shift pattern so it could work out that it doesn't happen when other people are not around either.

Another thing is, it's not normal behaviour for a woman in her 30s is it? Could she have needs we're not realising maybe?? I'm quite new to this mentoring hater only been qualified myself for just over a year so I want to play it right. I'm not into getting anyone into bother

OP posts:
Mrsstarlord · 23/10/2014 12:55

Also talk to her tutor from uni about your concerns.

mum9876 · 23/10/2014 12:58

If there's any chance at all you might be wrong, I wouldn't. It's not for you to sort it out. We had a new staff member once and then people's purses started to go missing. We were convinced it was her. It turned out eventually that it wasn't.

UsedtobeFeckless · 23/10/2014 12:58

Really weird ... Why the Hell would anyone act the fool on placement - Could you get the community police involved - keep all the bags, signs, milkbottles etc and see if they have fingerprints in common? Or just tell her you're thinking of taking it further and see if that stops her ... Alternatively talk to her previous tutors and see if she's got form for this sort of thing.

cowbiscuits · 23/10/2014 12:58

Hmmm. Has there been anyone else new in the workplace that could possibly be doing these things?

You should probably pull her up on the fact that laughing at someone falling over is cruel and unprofessional, and making comments like the marmalade on toast thing is totally inappropriate.

I don't think it would be right to ignore your suspicions, even though there's no proof. Could you talk to a manager about it?

If she's really doing these things, it suggests she's a bit of a weirdo. Is that really someone who would have the professionalism to do your job? If it was nursing for example, I'd say no, and as the mentor, you've got a lot of responsibility for helping to weed out the dodgy ones.

Kitsmummy · 23/10/2014 12:59

Can you pop to the toilet straight after her? See if anything's been done to them?

Mozzereena · 23/10/2014 13:00

Tell her you know it's her and you can prove it. Then give her a friendly warning.

Nelleebellee · 23/10/2014 13:01

I would have a word with your student link at the uni, or whoever it is that oversees them. Even if you aren't quite sure, it's important with students to voice concerns early on rather then let things escalate. There might be a history you don't know about.

InfinitySeven · 23/10/2014 13:04

I believe that you can put a camera in the bathroom, but not in the toilet cubicle. That is why CCTV is often found in bathrooms.

You could put a camera in the kitchen? Some weird stuff seems to be happening there, too.

Or, do you have an IT department? It shouldn't be difficult to find out which computer printed the signs, if the office printer was used.

If you get evidence, it'll be easier. If not, then you could already speak to her about the unprofessional behaviour - laughing at people falling over, talking about ramming things down people's throats...

BarbarianMum · 23/10/2014 13:07

It's not that you don't have 100% it's that you have no proof at all. All you have is suspicion , which should not be enough to ruin a person's career, esp as you say there are other possibilities.

Stupidhead · 23/10/2014 13:09

I'm scared for you Confused

x2boys · 23/10/2014 13:09

By your wording I,m assumeing your a nurse ? I know lots of things have changed since I qualified but I would get in touch with uni I,m sure she will have a personal tutor you can discuss it with . I would also get your management to deal with this voice your concerns to them . I wouldn't be challenging her on anything but the stuff you can prove ie laughing at someone falling over etc also regarding the camera thing if you work for the NHS your managers would need a lot of guidance using this .

bluecoconut · 23/10/2014 13:12

I wouldn't as you have no proof.

Could it possibly be a cleaner, who is pissed off with cleaning dirty toilets?

icanhaveadarksideifyouwantmeto · 23/10/2014 13:12

she sounds incredibly nervous and stressed to me.

is this her first job? as her mentor- arent you supposed to be guiding her in the ways of the workplace?

Id say something like.... you know you are the only one who finds those notes hillarious? thats because they arent appropriate here. in a shared house maybe, i can see that it would be funny, but not here.

Got99problems · 23/10/2014 13:13

We often have students at my work, and sometimes there's been something a bit off or concerning about them - each time we've spoken to the uni placement supervisor about it its been part of a bigger picture, and has definitely been for the best that any concerns have been raised. If you ignore it and just pass the placement you'll have no idea if she's done this everywhere she is!

Nelleebellee · 23/10/2014 13:18

I'm presuming you're a HCP too. You should also have a word about professional behaviour, for example the laughing at someone who slipped over. If she's not meeting standards then she needs an action plan and yes you do need to talk to the uni. The worse thing with a student is to pass them becaus you don't want to fail them.

Whatchamacalllit · 23/10/2014 13:21

In relation to possibly putting a camera in the toilet, you could get one set up to point directly at the door in to and out of the room. That way, you'll be able to see who goes in and also if they have any documents with them (as in new laminated notices). You wouldn't and couldn't point the camera at any of the cubicles but it should be possible to record who enters and leave the wc. Or even better, have a camera positioned outside the wc, perhaps along the corridor and record who enters and leaves - that way you're not recording inside the room at all.

You would definitely be able to set up a camera in the staff room or just post up a notice of your own (with the ok from the manager) saying that due to magazines being defaced, from now on magazines and any other reading material will not be allowed to be left in the staff room.

It does seem a bit strange that at 34 yrs old she would be getting up to such mischief (and that's what it appears to be based on your post) but not beyond the realms of possiblity.

LittleBairn · 23/10/2014 13:22

Do NOT film her! This could end up with you fired.

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Aeroflotgirl · 23/10/2014 13:24

She sounds like a 15 year old teenager, not a 34 year old mum. Yes I agree with the camera, too, however you need to have signs up to say that cctv or cameras are in operation.

Twitterqueen · 23/10/2014 13:26

I think someone is clearly mentally disturbed. I don't this is just 'fooling around'.
Many years ago at college we had some very strange behaviour ref toilets, poo and the bathroom and the person finally identified had a history and was mentally very unstable.

I don't know what to suggest really. But I would maybe a team talk, by the boss, in pubic, with clearly stated serious consequences being laid out. If it is a joke, the person should stop. If they don't, then everyone needs to be made aware that there is something not right and that they should be highly observant of any unusual behaviour.

greenbananas · 23/10/2014 13:29

If you do work in the NHS or in any other profession where your student (or whoever is doing this) could have contact with vulnerable people, then you have a responsibility to find out who is behind these not-very-nice "jokes".

There is certainly somebody in your work environment who is lacking a sense of professionalism and proper social boundaries. Vulnerable people can't protect themselves, so you have a duty to speak out.

As the mum of a child with life-threatening food allergies, I must confess that the idea of people secretly playing silly-buggers with the food in a workplace staffroom makes my blood run cold...

You witnessed the inappropriate laughter and marmalade incident yourself, so you are perfectly justified in raising those things with her tutor.

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