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AIBU?

To have expected my BF to text me on hol?

219 replies

Angel1983 · 21/10/2014 06:54

I've been together with my bf for over a year now and the relationship has had its ups and downs but is generally pretty good.

A couple of months ago my bf announced that he had booked up to go on holiday with five of his friends who are all single. I was ok with this. It subsequently became apparent that the hotel he was going to was very much based around 'adult' activities.

However, since he has been on holiday he hasn't contacted me at all. It has now been 5 days and I have had zero contact from him. Not even a quick text/email to say he has arrived safely. It is possible that his phone doesn't work abroad so he couldn't text me but he would definitely have been able to email me. The hotel he is staying at has wifi available at a small cost.

When he was on holiday last year (shortly before we got together) he texted me almost every day and we see/talk every day when he's home.

Am I being unreasonable to have expected my bf to make some contact whilst he was away? Even a quick 'I'm fine - I miss you, see you when I get home' text/email would have been enough to stop me from worrying.

Thanks! Sorry this is so long

OP posts:
Southpaws · 21/10/2014 06:55

Have you text him?

Angel1983 · 21/10/2014 06:58

Hi, Yes and I haven't had a response yet. I don't want to keep texting him, as I feel like I'm badgering him. :-(

OP posts:
browneyedgirl86 · 21/10/2014 07:02

Yanbu. I would have expected a text at the very least. Or email!

Redtartanshoes · 21/10/2014 07:06

Adult activities?

Yes he should have contacted you, but don't text him again tempting as it may be.

Go out and do fun things yourself and try and put him out of your mind andpost it on Facebook

LadyLuck10 · 21/10/2014 07:42

Yanbu, he doesn't value that much does he?

dexter73 · 21/10/2014 07:47

Yanbu - I would expect an email or text to say that he had arrived or something like that. I wouldn't expect hourly updates but a couple of messages would have been nice.

londonrach · 21/10/2014 07:48

Adult activities?

TheWitTank · 21/10/2014 07:54

What are "adult activities"? Sounds a bit dodgy.
Yanbu, I would have expected a quick text or call from a phone box to say all is okay, see you soon.
Don't bother messaging again. Try and distract yourself and have some fun, then see what bollocks excuse he comes up with when he is home.

Angel1983 · 21/10/2014 08:05

I don't really want to say too much on the 'adult activities' front lol. Just that it is popular with the swinging crowd and that the day and evening entertainment appears to be clothing optional. Hopefully this gives you the picture of what is going through my head since I haven't heard from him.

Thanks for the responses so far. I think we will be having a talk when he is back next week.

OP posts:
CuttedUpPear · 21/10/2014 08:14

So he has gone on a swingers holiday.
Is this something that you had discussed in the context of your relationship before he went?

It's not usual to book a holiday like that if you are in a monogamous relationship.

londonrach · 21/10/2014 08:16

Angel. You deserve a man who doesnt go on adult activities holidays. Xxx

BiancaYouMinx · 21/10/2014 08:20

I think a talk is a good idea. Would he be happy if the situation were reversed? Was the holiday you went on similar (clothing optional, etc)?

BiancaYouMinx · 21/10/2014 08:22

Sorry, misread post - can see it was him who went on holidays before, not you OP.

Angel1983 · 21/10/2014 08:48

He claimed that his friend booked the hotel and that he didn't know until it was already booked. I trusted him on this but given that he knew I was uncomfortable about it I am hurt not to have heard from him.

He also said he was just going to chill by the pool and wasn't interested in any of he activities.... I'm starting to feel like a bit of a fool.

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 21/10/2014 08:52

So he's away on a boys jolly to some seedy hotel and hasn't replied to your text....

Of course he could contact you If he wanted to....obviously just hasn't bothered

Only1scoop · 21/10/2014 08:53

Chill by the pool ....

He'd hardly tell you any different would he??

Doesn't sound like that kinda hol....

FeckTheMagicDragon · 21/10/2014 08:58

Honestly, I'd send him one more text. And then never contact him again.

Mammanat222 · 21/10/2014 09:10

YANBU, I'd be livid.

Your BF sounds like a complete arsehole!

Stubbed · 21/10/2014 09:16

To be honest you should probably dump him. I wouldn't put up with this.

fluffyraggies · 21/10/2014 09:16

You've been together over a year?

This is shite way for him to behave towards you IMO. Personally i wouldn't be together with him any more when he got home. Sorry.

My only dilemma would be weather to let him know that fact while he was still away ....

hmmm, probably not.

LadyLuck10 · 21/10/2014 09:22

Yes you are being made a massive fool. Do you really believe in all that nonsense he fed you? Come on, you can't be that gullible. You need to raise the bar and not accept this kind of crap in your life.

dexter73 · 21/10/2014 09:26

Crumbs I thought that adult activities meant jet skiing and stuff like that not 'adult' activities. That would be a no for me.

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famalam · 21/10/2014 09:29

Oh that isn't on, OP. Sorry you're in this crap situation. Don't text anymore. Trust your gut feeling.

Mouthfulofquiz · 21/10/2014 09:31

I'm with the poster above... Start mentally preparing yourself and then bin him when he gets back. You haven't been together long, and he sounds like he is not worth the bother. There are a lot of men out there who wouldn't dream of behaving like this! How old is he out of interest? If he is a day over 21 then he needs to be chucked.

WorraLiberty · 21/10/2014 09:32

I might be asking the obvious, but how can a group of men go on a swingers holiday, without bringing women to swing with?

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