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AIBU?

to ask how old your DC were when you first put them into nursery?

137 replies

MustHaveMoreTea · 02/10/2014 07:23

Whether or not it was because you had to go back to work f/t or p/t or if just to preserve your sanity and if think it was the right thing to do, looking back?
3 months old? 6 months? 9 months? Or only at year, 2 years, 3 years? Was it very difficult to do?
The new term/school year just having started I'm having some doubts over here! Hmm I just picked the closest one to me (not many choices around here anyway) but I'm also wondering how you chose the right place for your infant/toddler?

OP posts:
KeepSmiling83 · 02/10/2014 07:28

My DD went to nursery just before she was 1 as I had to go back to work. We looked round all the local ones and felt that had the most homely atmosphere as it was smaller than some of the others.

We had tears when she was settling (from us both!) and have had phases when she doesn't want to go but she generally really likes it and we've been really pleased with it!

mrscog · 02/10/2014 07:32

DS was12 months. There have been some hard days but on the whole he's very settled. He was extremely hard work between 18-24months and I genuinely believe that he was better off in nursery as I couldn't have looked after him FT without going insane!

TantrumsAndBalloons · 02/10/2014 07:36

Dd and ds1 went to nursery at 6 months when I went back to work.
Ds2 was 13 months.

CherryLips1980 · 02/10/2014 07:37

DD was 9 months old. She went because I went back to work pt ('we' do 2 full days a week at work/nursery). She loves it and I'm glad she's gone (although I wish I didn't have to go back to work ;) )

combust22 · 02/10/2014 07:38

we have Pre-school nursery here in Scotland ( equivalent to reception) usually attached to a school.

My kids started nirsery when they were 4 years and 9 months, Dd was 4 years and 3 months. With me or my OH 24/7 till then.

NormHonal · 02/10/2014 07:39

DC1: 6mo, 4 days/week, necessary due to work, although with hindsight I think I was heading into PND and going back to work prevented that. Had that not been the case I think I would have done what I did with DC2.

DC2: 9mo, 1 day/week purely for my sanity. Absolutely the right thing, settled easily, we avoided all separation anxiety and I got a bit of breathing space.

I hadn't appreciated with DC1 how much they learn in the 6-12mo period, and was amazed to see DC2 develop.

I chose the nurseries based on gut feel. Clean/bright/bustling environment with cheerful motivated staff and happy children in evidence.

But the thing is: to do what's right for YOU. And I can't tell you that.

Only1scoop · 02/10/2014 07:40

Dd was 9 months and started just two afternoons a week. I didn't need it for work reasons I just wanted her to interact with other children as I didn't do any groups. Oh and I wanted a little time to myself.

Always loved it....great at interacting.... Was the perfect setting for her.

WhereHas1999DissappearedToo · 02/10/2014 07:40

Dd was about 3 months (Couldn't afford more time off and we're I live we only get 3 months paid parental leave- this was the 90s) when I back to work and I didn't realise there was a waiting listBlush so she she had to go my mum's for about a month in the mornings and DH had to manage the afternoons (he does nights)

She was full-time at crèche at about 4 months, it was the only crèche/nursery in the area, so we didn't much choice. I didn't find it too hard let go but it helped she was at my mum's at first. DD was really happy there and she thrived, she made lots of friends. We moved when she was 4 so she went to the local play centre and DD has said the crèche was so much better and I was much happier with what she learnt at crèche.

CMOTDibbler · 02/10/2014 07:41

4.5 months, ft as I had to go back to work. We'd looked at a lot of nurseries when I was pg and it was lovely, small, great continuity of care

Lonecatwithkitten · 02/10/2014 07:41

My DD started at 3 months (self employed so if I don't work the business could disappear). I choose a relatively small nursery with low staff turnover that had it's own bank staff so didn't use agency staff. It had a nice big garden and similar values to me.
At 3 months I was the one who was sad not DD. she made friends there who she is still close to 11 years on.

Only1scoop · 02/10/2014 07:42

We visited 5 different ones and picked the outstanding one with a more established staff. So glad we did.

Bearsinmotion · 02/10/2014 07:51

DD went full time from 11 months. She is really happy there. We saw about 8 nurseries / childminders before we decided on the one in the village that we both loved.

FlipFlopWaddle · 02/10/2014 07:59

Dd1 was just over 1 and went 1 morning at first, then 2 mornings a week for me to sleep after night shifts, or if I wasn't working the night before she went for me to be able to do non toddler friendly jobs like food shopping.

Dd2 started at 8 months, one morning for 4 months and then going up to 2.5 days when my job changed.

They both loved going, dd2 still gets excited on nursery days. If they didn't I may have reassessed but we are very lucky. We chose the nursery because it is 2 minutes walk from dh's office if there's a problem (not that there ever has been ) and the staff were really welcoming and enthusiastic Smile

wonkylegs · 02/10/2014 08:02

DS went to nursery FT from 7mths as I went back to work. I chose a nursery near my work as it had a nice atmosphere, was in a convenient location and was one of only a few that could do the hours I needed.
DS took a while to settle but then took to it like a duck to water.
He was there until the week he went to reception at school aged 4.
It was fab & I only ever had cause to complain about their crap billing system. It's a decision that I haven't ever regretted even though it was extremely hard.
I don't know what I'm going to do with No 2 due next year as I'm now self employed so it's a lot more fluid.

TheHouseatWhoCorner · 02/10/2014 08:03

DD was 8 months. She went 4 full days per week.
We chose the nursery for its enormous garden space, high staff ratios and close proximity to DH's work.
She settled quickly quickly and didn't leave until she started reception.
No regrets.

HappyAgainOneDay · 02/10/2014 08:05

DD was 2½ and had two half-days a week. It cost 12/6d for te two half-days. Grin I think she enjoyed it. I was a SAHM and also had a 1 year old DS at home with me.

ssd · 02/10/2014 08:05

both ds's were 3 yrs old, they were at home with me or dh or grans before that.

didireallysaythat · 02/10/2014 08:07

DS1 fulltime from 12 weeks, DS2 full time from 14 weeks. I can't have regrets as it was the only option really and life is too short to wonder about what you can't have. I do admit I feel a pang of jealousy when I see mums strolling in the park with buggies at lunch time but no point in crying over what I can't have !

MyOneandYoni · 02/10/2014 08:09

No 1 - 5 months
No 2 - 3 months
No 3 - 9 months

No, I don't regret it as otherwise we would be homeless.

o0 · 02/10/2014 08:10

Ds1 was 3
Ds2 was 5

If I could go back and change it I'd not put my DS1 in when he was 3.

MrsPiggie · 02/10/2014 08:10

DS was about 2 - I made the decision to be a SAHM until then. I wish I sent him to nursery earlier and returned to work.
DD was 6 months when she started 3 days a week, then at 9 months full time.
They both loved it and got a lot out of it.

Messygirl · 02/10/2014 08:11

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TinyTear · 02/10/2014 08:15

10 months and she loved it and still does. totally the right choice, she has a best friend (she is nearly 3y) who has been at the nursery since they both were 1yo and it's a joy to see...

she learns so much and does so much more than if she was with me the whole time...

purplemurple1 · 02/10/2014 08:16

Mine started last month at exactly 1 yr old, 6am to 15.30, 5 days a week we had juggled 2 pt jobs from 1 month onwards but needed to both be full time from when he turned 1yr old. (We have the option but neither of us wants to be a SAHP.)

Like you we didn't pick as its the only one close enough, but we do know most of the staff as they live in the same village as us. Mostly the same values and expectations although we are proably a bit more old fasioned and expected the kids to be outside playing more than they are. But that seems to work well as he then wants to be out at home more which is good for us. We have (and continue) to tell them our expectations/what makes him happy - so types of food, time and length of naps, etc and they seem to try and accomodate where they can.

No regrets yet, he loves it doesn't cry at drop off (even when its diff staff to normal), and although happy when we arrive for pick up he crawls away from the pram so I assume he wants to stay.

Preciousbane · 02/10/2014 08:16

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