I always say I don't have any family to rely on when asked - in hospital, etc - because it's true, my mum is never there for me when I need her. We're fine as long as I'm being an acceptable daughter, but if I get sick or am upset she gets really cold and shuts down. We had been working on our relationship, and although I had been very careful with what I was saying, I had wanted to believe it was getting better and we had hope for the future.
But I made the mistake yesterday of starting to cry on the phone to her, talked about things I'm finding really hard and that I am so lonely and scared of never finding any more friends who have time for me (they're all very busy being newlyweds or working in europe etc) or a partner, for the rest of my life. Basically feeling unlovable. She was very chilly and just said I should start being nicer to people, especially her. I was very hurt, told her that wasn't helping, and that I was finishing the call. I am quite sure I'm not the horrible person she accused me of being, my friends would not say that about me.
I realise today the time has come to cut my losses. She doesn't really love me at all, she always manages to rip my heart out, I feel worthless and for a few hours suicidal. I think she knows the truth, that I'm a shit person who just needs to buck up and stop whining. But at the same time I know that isn't all true.
I know I have to go no contact, but I am terrified. How do I do it? How do I accept I have no mum? And it's stupid but how do I face Christmas birthdays aren't as hard, she just usually sends a text so not a big deal, but Christmas will be tough. Last year I was invited to spend it with two sets of friends, so I probably will have somewhere to go, but it's just feeling really hard
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
To ask how you go no contact with family?
25 replies
MountainsorMolehills · 19/09/2014 22:53
OP posts:
buckleuprosie ·
20/09/2014 11:01
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.