...to not turn up my collar?

[ladylily29]

Long time lurker, first time poster. Please be gentle, as I am a sensitive soul (which makes me think maybe IABU).

I got some suits delivered last night. Both my husband and I got home late, and I tried them on to show him. He made appropriate noises to them, and then told me to turn my collar up on one and do a pose for him.

I didn't want to do that, as I'm not a poser and quite shy. To which he said "fuck your collar and fuck your suit then" and refused to speak to me all night.

This morning I got up and when I came out of the shower he grabbed me, pulled me close and asked me what was wrong with me. I said, "You mean what's wrong with you? It's not acceptable to swear at people for something as stupid as not turning up a collar," - this was said very calmly.

He said, "What's wrong with you? You don't refuse to do something as stupid as that for someone else," and stormed off and wouldn't say goodbye.

He's now texted to say he's stopping at his male friend's house as the friend has just got out of hospital tonight. I don't expect him back before I go to bed.

AIBU? Really? It's not the first time he's taken the opportunity to blow up at me for something this small.

[LadyLuck10]

Yanbu he has some serious anger issues. Wtf was his problem at demanding to see the collar turned up. To then carry this over and be angry again the next day, this isn't a good relationship.

[gamerchick]

Picked a fight see he could go put all night?

[gamerchick]

*out

[RhiWrites]

I don't think this is about suits. I think it's about sex.

It seems like he thinks you should be posing and showing off for him and enabling his sexual fantasies and you're confused and intimidated by his way of demanding this. Does that make any kind of sense?

[NickNackNooToYou]

He's sounds like a petulent child and you deserve much better.

[phantomnamechanger]

doesn't sound like he loves or respects you at all TBH, how long have you been together? Sorry, but I would not stay with someone who treated me like that. DH has never ever ever sworn at me.

[SquirrelWearingATrilby]

I agree with RhiWrites

[ladylily29]

RhiWrites, yes, that sounds like him. He is very demanding sexually and it's been a couple of weeks due to enormous work schedule, so perhaps it's that.

No, it's not the first time he's sworn at me. I don't swear at him, though I do swear in daily life ("oh fuck, I've burned the toast...")

[Charitybelle]

This sound vey dodgy, I'm no expert re: abusive men but he sounds like he has issues. Doesn't sound like you did anything unreasonable.

[Charitybelle]

'Sounds very dodgy'!

[ladylily29]

Oh, he's just walked through the door. Forced hello, has gone into the bedroom...

[combust22]

How long have you been together? Do you have kids?

[ladylily29]

We got married last year, 7 years before that, no kids.

[combust22]

This would send huge alarms bells ringing I'm afraid.

[gimcrack]

That sort of behaviour is threatening and weird. What outcome do you want, op?

[bellarations]

Agree with poster up thread. He picked a fight to get a night off/out

[bellarations]

And got the hump because you didn't want to play out his fantasy.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

he grabbed me, pulled me close and asked me what was wrong with me Really, really wrong. Do you have support? Do you want to be with him?

[upthedamnwotsit]

He sounds frightening and unpleasant OP His behaviour is very far from normal.

[ladylily29]

No plan, no support, no nothing. Just starting to think there must be something wrong with me, so I just wanted to get perspective.

[gimcrack]

No, nothing wrong with you or your reaction.

[beavington]

Yanbu. He sounds unhinged op.

[JetsAndSugar]

Very odd behaviour from him.

YANBU.

[JetsAndSugar]

Based on past experience, when will he start being nice again? Will you be expected to be ready to be nice as soon as he decides he is ready to be nice?