To think she is not being truthful and is up to something?

[Edenviolet]

So, we have a cleaner come in once a week and she does a good job. Quite expensive though so as dsis was saving up I asked her if she would like to do some cleaning/tidying for us during the week to help us keep on top of things.

She has been popping in and doing some a couple of times a week BUT I notice things like on a couple of occasions she hadn't hoovered or wiped any surfaces yet said she had been there for three hours. Similar things have happened and when she's been it doesn't look like much has been done at all.
Yesterday she was meant to go but couldn't and said she would today. We have all been ill and I text her to check if she was coming and she wouldn't say yes or no just wanted to know would I be in or not, when I said yes she said she couldn't actually come but would tomorrow at a time she knows I'm out.

I feel a bit suspicious now as she is actively avoiding coming round when I'm there! She cleaned before the holidays but was then 'ill' all summer so didn't come then either.

I'm wondering if she is avoiding me so that she can say she has done more hours than she really has ? I don't want to confront her in case I'm wrong but I feel really suspicious. I can't work out if I'm being paranoid or if she is up to something.

[SaucyJack]

It seems highly likely that that's what she's doing.

Could you print out a list of what you want done and ask her to tick things off as she goes? She might get her finger out of her arsehole once she realises she's being checked up on.

And unplug the modem when you go out. She's probably just sat the watching cat videos on YouTube or whatever.

[peppapigonaloop]

Is your house as clean as it was when you were paying a cleaner? It sounds like she is not working as many hours as she says which is pretty especially as she is your sister. If the work is not as good I would be inclined to switch back to a proper cleaner - employing family in this kind of role can be a bit of a nightmare.

[Edenviolet]

No, the cleaner comes once a week for two hours and will in that time Hoover everywhere, dust, wipe surfaces, clean the bathroom and often change the sheets on a couple of the beds etc. she never even has a cup of tea or coffee when I offer and is working hard the whole two hours.
In comparison when dsis has been there's often a tea cup left on the garden table, the tv has been on 'normal' channels (usually its on cartoons that kids watch).

It seemed ideal as dsis was a bit cheaper than the cleaner but she just doesn't seem to be doing a lot and I'm wondering if she's including her breaks in the final total of how long she's been in my house rather than actual time cleaning.

[Edenviolet]

The clear avoidance of cleaning when I'm in is making me very suspicious. I said to dh last week when we got in how odd it was dsis had said she had been there for three hours but hadn't managed to Hoover anywhere and the bathroom wasn't cleaned.

[winkywinkola]

Erm, she's not doing it. It's pretty obvious.

Go back to your old cleaner and personally, I would never involve family or friends in business of any kind.

[AMumInScotland]

I'd say "Oh dear, having you help out doesn't seem to have fixed the problem. We'd better stop the arrangement"
She's taking the piss, I have no doubt of it!

[winkywinkola]

Erm, she's not doing it. It's pretty obvious.

Go back to your old cleaner and personally, I would never involve family or friends in business of any kind.

[winkywinkola]

Sorry. Posted twice.

[r2d2ismyidealman]

She's not cleaning. She's family so it's more awkward than usual. Just stop your arrangement. Fwiw, if I was in her situation I wouldn't want to clean for my sibling because of the change in the relationship dynamic, so if I had to I would probably then avoid them as much as possible as well.

[gamerchick]

Go back to your old cleaner.. its just not worth it.

[LadyLuck10]

Why don't you leave a book or something on a dusty surface, see if it's moved. Or something similar just to have confirmation even though you know what's probably going on. It's horrible though for your own sister to do this to you.

[hormonalandneedingcheese]

I'd just say to your sister that you need to pay the cleaner most to keep her and so you'll be going back to your previous arrangement aka Dsis won't be doing. Tbh she sounds a bit usey.

[ThatBloodyWoman]

Its her response re: whether she's coming in, and whether you'll be there, has left me thinking this is dodgy.

Say you've had an unforeseen expense anc can't justify a cleaner any more.

[gamerchick]

But surely if it's your sister you can call her on what she's done or hasn't done?

[giraffescantboogie]

As soon as I saw the title of this I knew it would be your sister OP.

[Viviennemary]

I agree that whatever she's doing it doesn't seem to be cleaning. Unless she is moving all the furniture out cleaning under it and moving it back and leaving the rest. Tell her you can't afford it any more.

[Delphine31]

My experience of arrangements like this where family are involved is that it often doesn't work out well. If you can find a way to end the arrangement amicably (probably just let it go and don't mention your suspicions) it might be the best course of action all round. Family are so important, and entering into an employer/employee relationship really can have a negative effect on family dynamics.

[SurelyYoureJokingMrFeynman]

Oh good lord. I remember other threads involving your DSis. I could have told you before you started the arrangement she would take the piss...

This won't improve, don't even waste the energy and bad feeling trying.

Do as others have said and make an excuse and call a halt. Confronting her even nicely will see an episode of illness and the family coven descending on you.

[Edenviolet]

It just seemed the ideal solution, she was looking for ways to make some money and we needed the help.

Its not like she does nothing but she does some weird things as well as less than I'd expect in the time she says she's been there. E.g the kitchen surfaces will still be dirty but the dolls house will be immaculate, dusted and arranged like a mini show home !

[redandyellowbits]

If you are worried about upsetting her by breaking off the agreement, maybe you could just let it fizzle out instead - claim to be working from home more often, or just keep letting her know the timings not convenient for that day, and then let it fizzle out naturally.

She sounds like a bit of a nightmare, so this might be the easiest way to get rid.

[myotherusernameisbetter]

Tell her that your official cleaner has now moved to a pay by task basis and it is working well so you are implementing the same for her.

Work out a reasonable amount (i.e. what your cleaner does) that could be done in the time she normally charges and leave her a list of those tasks where she has to confirm what she has done. and you pay per item.

Alternatively you could just tell her her cleaning isn't up to scratch and that as she isn't your child you are no longer giving her pocket money for doing the odd chore. That's what I'd do.

[Edenviolet]

I might just say to her I can only afford x amount of hours this week, leave a list and say for her to just see how much she had get done in the time, then the week after say I can't afford it any more.
I have a feeling, knowing dsis that this is just her way, I don't think she's intentionally being nasty but is more of a natural piss taker by nature so whereas the cleaner worked very hard, had no breaks etc and got the jobs done, dsis does a little bit, has a sit down, does something else, eats my cake or chocolate, watches tv, time drags on but she wants paying for all time in my house not just time cleaning!

Def an arrangement that needs to fizzle out

[hormonalandneedingcheese]

She's a pisstaker because she's allowed to be OP.

[Rollergirl1]

Exactly as hormona says above. You are allowing her to walk over you. Stop trying to come up with ways to let her down gently. Just say the arrangement isn't working out and leave it that. She knows full well that she isn't keeping up her side of the bargain and would be a fool to quiz you on the details.

[Edenviolet]

I'd rather enable her to be a pisstaker than cross her.

Been there done that. Wasn't nice. I think its easier to let it fizzle out and avoid similar situations happening again than to confront her.