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AIBU?

To be really annoyed with the debate today on Loose Women?

293 replies

ScouseBird8364 · 17/09/2014 18:15

Firstly, let me say, I do NOT watch this shite usually, I flicked it on as background noise this afternoon but was caught by the debate they were having, namely Domestic Abuse.

The whole debate was centred around the basis of the woman being the victim and the man, the perpetrator. They had a guest speaker on, I think she was affiliated with the refuge system in some way, very anti-men, and brought up these statistics about 95% of perpetrators being male etc.

This makes me so angry. The only reason the statistic is so unbalanced is because men don't come forward as often as women probably do.

I am aware of womens refuge's, but are there any for men?

I think far too much emphasis is placed on the male in these cases and is much too overlooked Angry

Just my opinion, rant over.

OP posts:
cailindana · 17/09/2014 18:25

"The only reason the statistic is so unbalanced is because men don't come forward..."

Either you are very stupid or you have agenda.

cailindana · 17/09/2014 18:25

an agenda.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 17/09/2014 18:27

Or it could be that as the shows target audience is women the whole debate is woman-centric. No real point in making the debate about the man on a show men arent going to be watching.

AnyFucker · 17/09/2014 18:28

Hello, MRA. How many ways can we name thee...

< yawn >

WooWooOwl · 17/09/2014 18:29

I didn't see the programme, but if I had I'd probably be inclined to agree with you.

There is much more stigma associated with domestic abuse towards men, and a balance does need to be struck. Seeing as domestic abuse isn't just physical, and is often emotional as well, I think there are probably a lot of men suffering with nowhere to go for support.

basgetti · 17/09/2014 18:29

I didn't see this but it sounds quite refreshing to me. I'm sick of gender neutral language being used and people tiptoeing around what is overwhelmingly an issue of male violence against women.

usualsuspect333 · 17/09/2014 18:30

I'm laughing at the cunningly disguised username.

NewtRipley · 17/09/2014 18:31

It is the numbers at the end that give the clue

ithoughtofitfirst · 17/09/2014 18:31

Ooooof

NewtRipley · 17/09/2014 18:31

Oops usual, not you Grin

ScouseBird8364 · 17/09/2014 18:32

Why would I have an agenda...?!

It is fact that men have not come forward, until something happens that uncovers the truth of what they've endured over the years...

OP posts:
MrSheen · 17/09/2014 18:33

A - That's not the 'only reason'. The victims of gendered violence are overwhelmingly women. Around half of murdered women are killed by a partner/ex partner compared with around 5% of murdered men.

B - Women have worked their arses off for decades to provide safe, women only refuges for abused women. There is nothing to stop you doing the same for abused men. I sincerely wish you luck. Male victims of domestic violence need safe spaces too but it's not the job of women working for safe spaces for women to provide them.

OddBoots · 17/09/2014 18:34

Did they mention that on average a woman is killed by male violence every 2.38 days in the UK?

AnyFucker · 17/09/2014 18:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

usualsuspect333 · 17/09/2014 18:36

You could try Mummytolittleone next time.

No one would suspect you then.

AnyFucker · 17/09/2014 18:38

err, usual

pot, kettle ?

I see numbers dude Grin

ScouseBird8364 · 17/09/2014 18:39

AnyFucker I don't follow, if you're going to add comment, please can you not make it cryptical Hmm

OP posts:
lornemalvo · 17/09/2014 18:39

Most domestic violence is the work of men. Most domestic violence that leads to murder is the work of men. I don't understand why talking about women being affected by domestic violence on a show for women would anger anyone.

LadyintheRadiator · 17/09/2014 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScouseBird8364 · 17/09/2014 18:41

usualsuspect, this has always been my u/name Hmm

OP posts:
SanitaryOwl · 17/09/2014 18:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ScouseBird8364 · 17/09/2014 18:42

Newtripley, care to explain? What is it you believe the numbers in my username to actually mean? Envy

OP posts:
SanitaryOwl · 17/09/2014 18:43

Almost all women who are murdered are murdered by men. Almost all men who are murdered are murdered by men. It's men who are the problem, not women on the telly, love.

Blistory · 17/09/2014 18:44

Hi Op,

Just curious to know what you're out there doing about providing male victims of domestic violence with support and refuges ? Spoken to your MP ? Raised the issue on social media ? Financially contributed to the male charities that do exist ?

Or is your sole contribution a rant about how unfair it is ?

I'm so interested in playing unfair top trumps with you but would like the answers to my first paragraph before I'll engage.

ihatethecold · 17/09/2014 18:44

Mumsnet is really weird sometimes.
I don't get why posters are so nasty to ops so quickly sometimes.
Bit sad really.

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