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AIBU?

to wonder if any couples have blissfully happy pregnancies?

33 replies

Giraffinalaugh · 16/09/2014 10:43

That's it really. Only 8 weeks with dc and we're arguing almost every night seem to be just passing each other off. I'm exhausted from negotiations with our dictator of a toddler each day and morning sickness is all day long and awful. He's got loads on at work.
Washing basket is overflowing and I've not done dishes since yesterday. Please don't take this piss because I'm just too much of an emotional wreck.
Will we be alright? Is this normal or do other people feel like this too? It should be the happiest time.

OP posts:
Giraffinalaugh · 16/09/2014 10:45

Dc2* and pissing each other off. I hate technology Sad

OP posts:
MrsWinnibago · 16/09/2014 10:50

It's rarely a "happy time". Pregnancy isn't "nice" imo it's hard work and when it's number two it's even tougher. Flowers Have a bath and screw the washing up!

seasavage · 16/09/2014 10:50

I was utterly knackered, EVERYTHING about H got to me. This first trimester is hard on you.
Do you go to a toddler group regularly? It wasn't unusual for pregnant / ill mothers of toddlers to take a short nap whilst the other mum's diverted the toddler.
Also, it is a short period. A bit more cebeebies whilst you just doze on the sofa really wont do any damage.

trufflehunterthebadger · 16/09/2014 10:52

Sorry, I had the "dream" pregnancy. Was only sick once, felt really well and glowing. Really quick labour and recovery as well and very easy baby. On the downside she is a very wilful, stubborn and defiant 4 year old !

Some of us are just lucky ;)

WiseGuysHighRise · 16/09/2014 10:53

Second pregnancy was harder than the first as I was more tired due to DC1 still needing looking after and therefore I had less "me time" to rest.

I had very healthy, contented pregnancies though - I remember them really happily. On the whole anyway remembers having crying fit over DH's refusal to paint spare room at midnight

Giraffinalaugh · 16/09/2014 10:53

I think that's why I'm finding it hard. I've moved areas so not found any toddler groups to go to here yet or friendly support when things are hard. And we only have a working shower not bath. I'd bloody kill for a soak in the bath. First world problems. I know but hey.

OP posts:
whycantifindaname · 16/09/2014 10:59

I hate being pregnant. It is all kinds of crap (for me anyway). But, we did get through all ours without major ructions.

I think the important stuff is to lower your own expectations of what you can get done, and be sure to make it very clear to DP that this is happening (I.e. "with feeling thing rubbish I won't be.... for awhile").

There is definitely no point at all in suffering in silence whilst pregnant. Only results in resentment. Make sure he is aware of all the hard stuff.

Also, be aware yourself that you doing less means he is doing more, and therefore may also be more tired, stressed etc.

Good luck and congratulations. The early bit is tough cos those lovely baby snuggles seem so far away.

Itsjustmeagain · 16/09/2014 11:04

I think my best pregnancy was dc5 and it was only because we ignored it totally until I was in labour (even then I didnt realise fast enough and dh didnt make it to the hospital in time). It was just nice to not have to talk about it tbh!

ChickenMe · 16/09/2014 11:20

I feel your pain. I am 11+4 and verging on murderous. Everyone is annoying me. I have bad breath and permanent nausea. I feel like I can't suffer fools at all and have zero tolerance. It doesn't help that I can't sleep. Are you over-tired? The only thing that helps me is going to the gym and forcing myself to go out.
Is there any way you could get a babysitter and go out for the evening or an overnight stay?

littledrummergirl · 16/09/2014 11:58

Dh knew I was pregnant with dc2&3 before I did.
The hormones kicked in and I would go through the emotions. I was a nightmare, it was like pms but worse.

Life is rarely perfect, take those moments and bring them out when things are hard.

LouiseBourgeois · 16/09/2014 12:08

My pregnancy sounds hellish in theory because I spent all of it in another country for work, juggling ante-natal care in two countries as a nervous older first-time mother-to-be, with DP in this country, bar occasional weekends back and forth. Plus because of some initial complications, I didn't tell anyone at all until 17 weeks, so had to find excuses to slide out of meetings to be sick, and all housework, cooking, shopping etc devolved on me.

Despite all that, I think I was very lucky. I generally felt well and contented, and because I was alone so much - a stormy winter by the sea - I spent a lot of time talking to the baby and playing him music by the fire in the evenings. I remember it as a very happy time.

Thisismyfirsttime · 16/09/2014 14:04

Fill the bath with the shower (assuming you have an over-bath shower)!

HamishBamish · 16/09/2014 14:35

I was very lucky not to have any major issues through both pregnancies (apart from OC at the end of the first), but it was definitely completely exhausting. I was working part-time, but was way more exhausted on the days I had DS1 the second time around.

The second trimester was the best for me. I had morning sickness throughout the first and horrible heartburn/sickness during the 3rd.

MrsMook · 16/09/2014 15:45

Pregnancy doesn't like me. The first was worse than the second as I veered from all-day-mega-brunch-nausea and exhaustion straight to SPD and doing a convincing 3rd trimester before halfway. I remember the "other people's pregnancies " row at about 17-18 weeks because DH couldn't comprehend how drained I still was when I should apparently have been blooming. It's one of the few times I've shouted at him.

Second time was better because I was at home with Ds1, and he's happy to watch TV so I could doze on the sofa. I also knew how to manage the SPD and nausea better.

ToriaPumpkin · 16/09/2014 18:08

During my second pregnancy DH only survived some nights because without him I'd have had to get up at 6am with our toddler and I needed as much sleep as I could get. Everything he did drove me batty. I had no nausea but SPD and dizzy spells and I was physically and mentally exhausted from about 5 weeks to the point my aunt asked my mum if I was pregnant again because I looked so awful.

I ended up on crutches and codeine by 20 weeks the second time at which point DH finally realised how much pain I was in. He'd never been unsupportive as such but he just didn't 'get' it.

By contrast I worked in a physical job until 34 weeks the first time but napped a lot more. I was tired but not physically exhausted and other than a few arguments about the washing not being done or me being too tired to cook even though it was my day off we got through fairly unscathed.

My second pregnancy has put us both off DC3!

landrover · 16/09/2014 18:12

Sorry,yes I did (only to balance out the other posters!) Wonderful, happy, easy pregnancy, bit of heartburn, planned c section, beautiful child!!

Littlef00t · 16/09/2014 18:17

Found the sickness tough til wk15 then fab until the end. You might find it improves soon!

Bulbasaur · 16/09/2014 18:39

Me and DH had a happy pregnancy, but this was our first, so me sleeping or being lazy really affected nothing he couldn't pick up the slack for without losing sleep (dishes, laundry).

LaurieMarlow · 16/09/2014 18:46

I loved being pregnant, but only btw 14&30 weeks. And it was my first, so no other DC to worry about. DH did all the housework.

First trimester was a bitch though.

Chunderella · 16/09/2014 18:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Trinpy · 16/09/2014 18:50

I hated pregnancy. bad morning sickness until 20 weeks, then spd from 21 weeks. Didn't do any housework at all really for the second half of my pregnancy. Got massively pissed off with my dh for so much as breathing. Happy memories Hmm.

And that was only dc1! God knows how I would cope with another child thrown into the mix! I'm in awe of you Grin.

MagnificentMaleficent · 16/09/2014 18:53

I have noticed that the two posters with the great pregnancies appear to only have one child. IME lightening rarely strikes twice Grin

DD1 beautiful easy pregnancy, DD2 nearly led to divorce, DS1 I looked like a troll and it nearly led to divorce.

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ithoughtofitfirst · 16/09/2014 18:55

It's horrendous for us this time (pregnant with DC2) we're not really arguing or anything but i can just sense a lot of frustration from dh because I can't do much in the evening. I do as much as I can in the day and always make tea. But then have a sit down for about 3 hours before I do dishes or anything!

Whatevs. He can deal with it. Im trying my best.

Boglin · 16/09/2014 19:02

I'm 23 weeks with dc2 and still violently sick if I forget to take the tablets I was prescribed for my ms. I couldn't have coped with this pregnancy if I didn't have those so if you're really struggling with the sickness get to the gp and beg for some anti-emetics. I was prescribed them at around 9/10 weeks as was throwing up blood. The tiredness has abated a bit now but for the first trimester DH had to do everything around the house, I was incapable of doing anything but sorting myself and DC1 out. Luckily, he is a very equal partner and had no problem with this and now we are pretty much back to splitting things. If it helps, in my first pregnancy I told him I hated him and meant it so that is now the benchmark for how bad it can get. We haven't yet reached that point this time!

Bellejessleo · 16/09/2014 19:08

OP, completely and utterly normal IMO, sounds exactly how it was for us anyway when we were expecting our second. It is stressful being pregnant and feeling poorly when you've got another little one to look after. My DH isn't good at the emotional stuff and just doesn't cope well when I'm not 100%, I think many men are probably the same. No advice, you will muddle through, just wanted to offer my hugs and sympathy Flowers if it helps things are fine now and 2nd DC is 2 and a complete joy (most of the time!)

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